fairydust*

OOPS.

2006-12-25T19:45:00.000+08:00

this blog is on a HIATUS xp
have moved to http://peenkfluff.livejournal.com
move may be permanent.
may be temporary.
we shall see!

=D

2006-11-23T19:48:00.000+08:00

HEE. i've been neglecting you, my dear blog xp
but now,
As ARE OVER!! yayyy (:

and i thank God for carrying me through the whole month or so of exams (:
it's all in your hands now Lord.
i seriously am tempted to just neglect this blog for livejournal.
but i like my this skinn leh.
and i am really really lazy to do up my lj blog =p

ahh well.
decisions decisions.

oh go watch CASINO ROYALE!!
it's really really good (:
and eva longoria is hot!
and it was really worth watching the 2.5 hr movie for just $6.50 today (:

mmms.

2006-10-13T19:47:00.000+08:00

last official day of school today.
=(((
says it all.
and yes, ironically,our last day coincides with open house.

SAT subj tests tmr.
SCREWED.
it's like the more i do, the more i realise i haven't learnt.
and the more screwed you feel.
AHH.
go awyong we can do it! (:

i feel like blogging this whole looooong entry about my two years in hwachong.
but no, i better go do more SAT tests.
after prom then.
ahhhh.
these two years have really flown by =(
oh booo overwhelming feelings of sadness.

this week has been a rollercoaster.
but somehow i'll emerge with a smile (:
haha and it helps that my cousin's wedding this sunday is at SENTOSAAAA!
wheeee!i hope i can fit kailing's dresses (:
ahh. what a disjointed post.
and i didn't even blog about what i really wanted to say.

pw outing (: maf.

2006-10-08T16:31:00.000+08:00

today during service i was reminded of something.
the rainbow.
and how it is the sign of the covenant God made with man.
initiated unilaterally.
the promise that He will never again make use of a flood to wipe out the earth.
and so rainbows mean a whole different thing to me now.
thank you God for the beautiful rainbows
that appear after the rain
which remind that you are always there (:

anw yesterday was pw outing!
everyone was late. except me of course.
haha but i was shopping xp
got huiling a cake ((:

yayy she liked it (:
mms. but before going to eat,
we went to take neoprints! (:
haha. had a blast thinking of poses =p
FUNFUNFUN!
i like it that HI138 is so spontaneous! (:
and so we were making quite abit of noise,
especially when we were decorating the neos xp

then we went to vill'age.
hmm. marche had better food =x
but oh wells.
there were cute waiters!
at least according to yaoz.
HEE. he was swooning over 2 waiters =x
the first one was really not bad lah.
and huiling liked the second one so.. HAHA!
yayyy. had chicken with mashed potatoes and a lovely drink called apple blast!
it's actually sparkling juice (:
i thought the way the made it was way cool (:
but the suan mei inside was really suan.
couldn't eat it.
yaoz's apple+pineapple+mint+lime concoction was.. interesting.
huiling had orange ~~grenade!~~grenadine xp
clement had the lime one. forgot it's name though.
mms. butbutbut!
we had CHOCOLATE FONDUE(:
yayy and we managed to change the bananas (which i so loathe with a passion) to strawberries!
thank you yaozhen for persuading the lady to change it for us (:
and im glad we dint replace the brownies! they were heavenly (:
pity the mangoes weren't ripe though.
but i still LOVED the CHOCOLATE FONDUE (:

before.
after! we cleaned the plate (:
us with the fondue. yaozhen's fav waiter took this =p

and so i had a great time with HI138, like i always do (:
and i really thank God for giving me such a fantastic bunch of people to work with.
for the best pw group ever (:

really really confused.

2006-10-03T19:27:00.000+08:00

sometimes God sends people into your life.
to wake you up.
to direct you on the right path.
this is perhaps one of those times.

what you told me, really woke me up.
made me realise that what i'm doing really is not right.
but you probably don't realise the impact your words made on me.
cos well, they were directed at another person, for another person.
but they spoke to me loud and clear.
loud and clear.
but i just don't have the faith.
i don't know why but i just can't trust.
i don't want to do what i have to do.
i'm scared.
i know that "with God, anything is possible"
and that "i can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me"
but why why why cant i just really trust?
why can't i let God work out His will in me?
why am i so willfully sinning?
why?

just force me to stop, someone.
force me to stop sinning.
force me to give it up.
force me to trust that God will bring to past something better.
and if i blame you now,
know that i'll thank you one day.

and so you ask me to encourage her.
to pray for her.
but it's really hard for me.
when i'm doing the same thing.
when i'm probably going to fall in the same trap.
when i'm going to face the same situation.
in which i'll probably sin.
why am i so weak?
so weak in faith, in spirit.
and so i don't think i can encourage her just yet.
don't think i can pray for her just yet.
until i get myself out of my own mess.
if not i'll just sound so hypocritical.
i'll be the biggest hypocrite alive.
i'll be hypocritical in prayer!
hypocritical before God!

i'm really scared.
what am i getting myself into.
oh Lord, do not desert me please.

-

2006-09-28T12:04:00.000+08:00

i'm much better already.
thank you everyone (:

why is no one online nowadays?
has everyone started mugging already for As?
-freaks out-

ok this is going to be such a random post
since i have nothing to say anyway.
i'm listening to the news now!
in german nonetheless.
and i don't really understand much.
whyyy did i quit german =(

mrs lim's house later!
i hope we have as much fun as we did on class day
and not end up stoning or anything
but i still do not want to swim.

devil wears prada is a good show (:
it is NOT a chick flick.
yayyy. thankyou jaey for watching it with me! (:

i wonder why i've lost an interest in shopping.
is that a good thing?
i've just been feeling ultra SIAN these few days
[awyong would know]
argh.
can someone just fill up all my us uni applications for me
and study for SAT2 for me
~~i refuse to touch my books so quickly after prelims!~~

ahh. enough of putting of doing bio.
i shall be a good girl and do my revision lecture questions.

oh my goodness i'm seriously feeling immensely SIANNN.
-.-"

SICK.

2006-09-23T11:55:00.000+08:00

ARGH.
someone save me.
i cant breathe!
through my nose at least.
cos its all clogged up.
and it gives me a throbbing headache.
stupid virus/bacteria whatever GO AWAY!
i still have to study for chem s!
RAWRRR.

and so i've been downing vit c pills in the hope of curing myself by natural means.
don't like to resort to medicine unless i absolutely have to.
its sth my parents influenced me lah.
like if u cure ur own illness not by taking medicine,
you're building up ur own immune system.
rawr.
and so i wasnt able to enjoy my popo's bday dinner last night (the food at least)
or shopping with the girls yesterday
WHILE THE VERY SINCERE GUYS PLAYED POOL -.-
oh but my popo had a very cute bday cake!
okay she had 2.
one durian cake which someone made.
the other was a cake of a majong set!
HAHA so cute!
i took a pic of it (:
and my popo was like going to cry when we sang her a birthday song!
she was laughing and crying.
think she was just overwhelmed by the situation - her whole family celebrating her birthday for her (:
and i tell you my extended families are super LARGE lah.
like yesterday, we filled up 8 tables! just my mom's side of the family.
and not even 100% attendance -.-

okie i think i shld find sth to eat cos i havent eaten today yet.
and i shld start studying for chem s.
headache, please go awayyyy.

ramblings.

2006-09-14T17:52:00.000+08:00

taking a break from statistics now.
am i worried about my abilities in doing statistics questions.
Lord give me peace.
Help me to trust that You are in control over everything.
thank God for keeping me through prelims so far.
papers have been quite okay.
and i really felt calm doing the papers.
could feel that God was watching over me (:
and no matter what results i get, it's all in the Lord's good plan and timing.

it's a rainy day today (:
i like the rain.
maybe cos it brings back memories.
but yes, i do like the rain.
it makes it easier to study too.

just read the papers.
some bigshot was commenting on how good the service standards were at a particular shop (heh. better not name names in i get sued or sth) in ngee ann city.
well hello?
i'm sorry to shake you out of your jaded little world, but it's precisely because you are a BIGSHOT that's why you are receiving such high standards of service that you thought only existed in fairy tales.
call me cynical.
but honestly, i don't believe people (esp singaporeans- ok, generalisation again but sorry, that's my personal opinion based on the impressions i've formed from many occasions) will go so far out of the way just for one customer, unless you're like, a vip.

oh and this is really old news, but (oh my goodness this is going to sound so bimbo and cliche but) i'm really SAD about steve irwin's death =(
i was a few days slow in learning about that, but when i heard about it, i was grieved.
honestly.
i've seen many of his shows (my dad used to watch earthvisions regularly) and i could really feel his passion and love for animals.
and it's this love and passion that makes me admire and respect him.
i mean i like animals.
alot.
but i don't exactly love them.
and the manner with which he could go so out of his way for his beloved animals just overwhelmed me.
he died trying to further his cause for the animals.
(ok, i realise this sounds superficial and all, but honestly, i'm truly sincere here. i just lack the proper vocab to express my emotions =x ahhh. what's the point. i don't have to convince you i'm being sincere. as long as i know i'm sincere, that's enough.)

okie.
now that i've just gotten these thoughts down and out of my mind (hopefully!) i will get back to statistics.
and might i just add that i love my cousin alot (:

first year.

2006-08-30T21:27:00.000+08:00

today marks the first death anniversary of pastor cheah.
one year has passed since he left us to go home to a better place.
one year.
much has changed,
much has changed.

and yet You remain the same, yesterday, today, forever.

2006-08-26T16:48:00.000+08:00

yayy.
gave myself a break today and indulged in a storybook (:
will go back to work soon.
mugging's quite fun actually.
i mean there is something remotely satisfying after a long day of mugging.
something inspiring.
intangible rewards.
this is good; i'm finding the joy in mugging.
which definitely makes it easier to mug.
go go go huili! (:

so yesterday marked the last day of lessons in hwachong.
two years have definitely flown past.
feel a little sad.
time always does pass by quickly when you're enjoying yourself.
and i really thank God for placing me in seven five (:
and for all my dear friends in seven five, tip, hnf, harmoc etc.
hmm. perhaps now's the wrong time to feel sad.
will blog more abt my 2 years in hwachong when the time comes.
like when prom's over.
but i don't want that day to come.
ah well.

shoutout:
hope! i don't know if you still visit my blog.
but just to let you know i haven't forgotten to reply you!
just been really busy lately.
i'll try to write a long email to you asap!
meantime, have fun starting ur last year at covenant (:

wow.

2006-08-18T21:39:00.000+08:00

talking to jema dearest makes me happy (:
i read your blog you know, my favouritest dessert!! (HAHA!)
every single entry!
and i know you read mine tooo!
HAHAHA.
rawr. she just got d/c-ed.

anws. haven't updated for a week.
WOW.
that's pretty amazing for me.
but yay!
i've managed to break my coming-online-everyday BAD habit.
i should make it a routine to not come online everyday!
(haha. VALUE of routine ((: )
wasn't supposed to come online for a week, but well.
that was too mean a punishment xp
okie fine. i WILL come online less often.

so tralala. here i go offline now =D

lalala.

2006-08-09T21:42:00.000+08:00

koped frm isa.
cos i'm bored...

YOUR TEN FAVOURITES
favourite colors: pink.purple.orange.yellow
favourite food: i just LIKE FOOOD (:
favourite songs: love ballads, rock (haha. what contrasting interests)
favourtie movies: chick flicks xp
favourite sports: capt's ball, FRISBEE! (:
favourite season: spring! and winter when its snowing (:
favourite ice-cream flavours: anything wif chocolate!
favourite countries: america ((:
favourite things: my special drawer filled with letters, cards, pictures, my diaries... my memories drawer (:

YOUR NINE CURRENTS
current mood: like that lorrr.
current clothes: obs tee, shorts.
current desktop: ZOOO outing! the one with the elephants (:
current toe nails: copperish-brown.
current time: 9:29 pm
current annoyance: the whole syllabus (how am i supposed to finish!?!)
current thoughts: 3 months please pass quickly!!
current songs: only hope - mandy moore, a moment like this - kelly clarkson. my all-time FAVS! (:
current chatter: erm. as in convos? abi, kailing, junhong.

YOUR 8 FIRSTS
first Girlfriend: i've always been straight thank you very much.
first Boyfriend: never?
first crush: primary five.
first movie: the parent trap (: i still like it alot. it's like, a classic.
first piercing: primary one
first lie: i cant remember
first music: k1! at the cristofori in beauty world (that has ceased to exist, i think.)
first toy: i can't remember.
first cry: 29th Nov 88

YOUR 6 LASTS
last drink: sparkling grape juice (:
last car ride: kw's car a few sundays ago.
last crush: =D
last movie seen: just my luck, she's the man! (in the same day!)
last phone call: hmmm. errrr i think it was karin.
last cd played: can't remember!

4 THINGS YOU HAVE DONE TODAY: mugged, drank mocha frapp, ate oreo cheesecake, smiled (:
3 THINGS YOU HEAR RIGHT NOW: the newscaster's voice, the typing sounds of the keyboard, my dad's voice.
2 THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT: my bible. my voice (HAHA!)
1 THING I DO WHEN IM BORED: stone.

i'm going broke.
please feel free to donate to the "SAVE HUILI" fund (:
cheques accepted, thank you for your support.
HAHA! i wish.

random

2006-08-08T20:54:00.000+08:00

i figured i have nothing to blog.
erm so it's our nation's birthday tmr.
WHOPPEDEEDOO!
hurrr.
so we had celebrations in school.
which were ok i guess.
i STILL WANT TO PLAY FRISBEE!

rahh. really nothing to blog about.
hmm. i'm gonna start being random.

i'm too lazy to tag at your blog lah kegan.
too lazy to consolidate my thoughts.
but hmm.
you've really gone thru alot this past months, but yay for you, you survived! (:
about that whole faith thing,
ultimately it really is the Holy Spirit who works in you then you believe...
even if the whole world evangelises in you and the Spirit dosen't work in you, all their efforts will come to naught.
yupps. and i still believe in not being unequally yoked.
cos it's only right to obey the Bible after so much God has done for you.
yupps and anyway i believe God will provide the right person for me in due time (if indeed His plan is for me to get married) so yupp just go by faith and trust
(although sometimes it's hard but that's what faith is about i guess)
haha. ok i ended up "tagging" here =p

oh today this american band came to our school for natl day celebrations! (:
and haha. the singer's not bad looking! (:
and when he started singing tong hua i was all
*MELTS
haha. okie enough.

mummy showed me dorcas' wedding program this afternn (:
wheee!
can't wait.
gonna be one of the jie meis so i have to be at dorcas' house by SEVEN AM!
oh man. that's v v early.
will be with her practically the whole time (:
helping to usher for the service.
and will be singing at the wedding, some special item (:
but since it's one hokkien and one canto song,
it's gonna be toughhh.
shall go practise the lyrics =x
at least the wedding's not a dinner, so should be able to sleep early.
but sunday there's still church so i forsee being very sleepy on monday...
which is very BAD! cos it's maths paper 1 =(
please do not fail me, brain.

"i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" - Phil 4:13

my ambition (:

2006-08-02T20:41:00.000+08:00

wheee!
for once i felt like blogging in school and the urge to blog hasn't disappeared yet (:
but first...

BLESSED BIRTHDAY AMZIE!

my dearest dearest girl, although you're so farrrr away in the states, i know you can feel my love permeating the air even though millions of miles separate us (: have a FAB day dear. i can't wait to see you in 12 days! meanwhile, may our gracious Lord continue to bless and keep you! happy twentieth!

BLESSED BIRTHDAY LIL BOY!

haha. what's the point of this actually. he can't really read properly yet. and he will never see my blog unless he comes irritating me when i'm at the comp. lol. but anw, happy birthday my dearest cousin (:

back to what i wanted to blog about.

today we had 2 hours of chem tut -.-

but i liked the cooking dvds (:

hmm. so i don't know why.

but when i was watching the dvds,

suddenly there was this inner stirring (HAHA!)

followed by this realisation

desire, yearning even.

i don't really want to be a career woman.

i don't need the fame, status or money.

~~and of course the stress~~

all i want is to get married to someone i love (:

(haha zhuuu! does that sound like you!?!)

and become a homemaker!

haha. i wanna cook for my family

(just like the lady in the dvd)

clean the house

bring up my children in the Lord

have plenty of time to sit down and read books

or tend to the garden

bake cookies for a mid-afternoon snack for the kids

spend lots of time with the Lord

keep the house neat and tidy

drive to the grocery store at least a few miles away to get the groceries

maybe stop in a cafe for a latte

and when my dearest husband comes home frm work

shower him with love and more love!

ideal setting would be in a sub-urban countryside (:

oh i know isa would probably feel like clobbering me after reading this.

haha. dearest girl with feminist notions!

i hope anand melts away some of your strong-headedness.

HEE.

and so i will just wait for my prince (:

he can whisk me away to the countryside thankyouu very much.

catching up.

2006-07-30T20:22:00.000+08:00

ytd's seminar was -.-
dint gain anything. so was quite a waste of time.
but wooohoo. something interesting happened!
WAAHAHAHHA.
~~ok i shall not be gossipy~~

anyway, ytd was one of the RARE times that i actually HATED shopping.
i was so super tired i tell you.
my thighs were aching. back was aching =(
and my head was bursting frm trying to think of presents to get for the aug babies.
RAWR. we walked into the ripcurl and roxy shops more than 10 times altogether la.
bet the sales pple were v v amused =x
but we settled jaey's and clement's presents (:
and ruowei's too! (HAHA. good thing u left early garbie! (: )
so we're left with mingswin's, emily's and meix's.
aiyar. other pple can go buy those presents then i can contribute the money xp
and so now i'm BROKE!
or i'm gonna be lah. so many pple's birthdays in august! =(
on top of the 5 pple in class, i've still got my cousin's, my sister's and my gooodiest friend in church's.
no more money LAH!
so heh. i think you're gonna get a belated present karin dear! sorry!

after that went to meet my family and aunty janice, siok ming and siok hui.
went to eat ichiban boshi at esplanade mall (:
YUMM. the place was freaking crowded.
pple even made reservations one week in advance lah.
so since we dint make any, we had really bad seats.
but nonetheless, food was good (:
i LOVE sashimi! (:
company was even better!
haven't laughed so much in so long with siokming and siokhui ((:
i miss our childhood playtimes

we had photo-taking frenzy!
here are the nicer shots (:

SMILES!

i really enjoyed myself tonight! (:

HOPE! (:

2006-07-28T22:13:00.000+08:00

haha this post is dedicated to Hope Ann Start!

hello my dear dear dear penpal! (:
whee i'm still so hyped about this whole blog thing!
yayness. i'm glad you've got xanga!
then i'll be more in touch with your life! (:
haha. i know i've said this a million times
but yes i'm very very hyped!

anw love you girl!
i hope i get to go visit you sometime sooon!
or you could come here!
(it's pretty hot down here now tho)
well enjoy ur summer hols!
email me often! (:

and so the memories flood back
and suddenly i cant forget.

rawrrr.

2006-07-26T18:48:00.000+08:00

progesterone. oestrogen. FSH. LH. corpus lutem.
primordial follicle. primary follicle. secondary follicle.
follicular phase. luteal phase.
menstrual phase. proliferative phase. secretory phase.
RAWR. get into my brain and stay there till the As PLEASEEE!
(and it's quite apparent how slow i am in reading bio)
why did i take bioooooo =(

but if i dint take bio, i'd be in PCME; s6
things would be wayyyy different.
and of course, i wldn't be in sevenfive.
which is just about the most fantastic class i've had.
so maybe bio is worth it.
after all, school's not just about studying.
it's about making friends, having fun too.
or have we forgotten to enjoy ourselves in school too?

on happier notes!
amy dear is coming back on the 14th of august!
WHEEEEE. like FINALLY!
i miss that dear girl soooooo much!
can't wait to talk to her IN PERSON again (:
and we've got to plan dorcas' bridal shower.
and buy her wedding present!

speaking of presents.
i'm forsee a empty piggybank in the upcoming two months.
why is everyone born in august/sept!?! RAWR.
no money LAH.
numerous bdae presents to get.
AND a wedding present.
no time! no money!
so kailing and i have decided to do intensive, focused shopping on saturday.
we shall buy all the presents at one go.

ladididummm.
this is such a random post.
haha i think it's quite apparent im in quite a pleasant mood.
YAYYY (:

ok back to sexual repro.
~~why can't humans just reproduce asexually LAH.~~

*guilty

2006-07-22T22:17:00.000+08:00

erps.
i confess i spent the entire day today reading =x
but it was a good book k
(i'm not praising ur taste here u egoistic person.)
jodie picoult is a fantastic writer.
it's fascinating how much she has researched on her subject matter;
the whole pagan religion, court procedures, trial proceedings.
WOW.
wheeeee. go read salem falls by jodie picoult! (:

somewhere in the story i just got to thinking.
(actually there's really no link but oh well)
i finally realise and believe that really,
love is everything.
even if you're relatively deprived or living in absolute poverty
you can still be content and happy if you're living with pple who love you for who you are.
that's why people in third world countries can be so much more happy and joyous.
that's why they can be so content even though they might be struggling to put food on the table.
haha okie call me idealistic/impractical or whatever.
i still believe you can survive on a diet of love.
that's why i understand why addie can so willingly give up her life in salem falls to follow jack wherever he goes.
(ok, so jack is rich. but stillll.)

aiyar. whatever.
i better go catch up on my revision timetable.
i think i've screwed myself up further =x
going for EXPERIENCES'06 tmr with awyong and justine.
hopefully, i'll learn something.
tata!

bleahhhhh.

2006-07-21T17:24:00.000+08:00

booooey.
so many people are being moody these days =(
kinda affects my mood too.
but then again, someone has to be the cheery happy one.
if not the whole world then becomes too depressing and suffocating.
so i shall be jumpy!

haha.
anyway. was inspired by awyong's post on daniel vosovic.
so i went to search for meet joe black pics of brad pitt!
HAHA. and i know he ~~doesn't look that good~~looks quite good already in the pics, he's EVEN HOTTER in the movie!
yuppps.

WOOOHOOO! (:

MELTS*

haha. awyong! go watch the movie already! (:

okay! enough happiness for today! shalalalala~

hundredth post! (:

2006-07-19T21:48:00.000+08:00

whee! this is my hundredth post here on this blog!
(which is about a year old)
but nothing really momentous to blog abt now.
again i'm being swamped by info about US unis, courses (i still dunno what to take!) and the likes.
SIGH*

anyway, i am here to proclaim my absolute LOVE for ABI! (:
haha. thank you so so so much dear!
you were such a tremendous help with all the advice on applications and choices of US unis (:
thanks for being ever so helpful and for spending so much time on MSN with me just to help me get my facts straight!
and all the websites, universities that you recommended (:
i hope you have great fun in brown!
make loads of new friends!
all the best for your studies dear!
much love and hugs! ((:

and so it's less than six weeks to the start of prelims. and i haven't officially started studying. S-C-R-E-W-E-D is what i am. but i am resolved to really finally study properly for my bio and phys and get those elusive A grades. and i thank you Lord once again for giving me grades that i don't really deserve. especially for phys and bio which i always don't finish studying for. it's amazing how i can keep passing bio when i really always study about half the chapts that are tested. this time i studied less than half. it's really the Lord's doing, thank You. but this cannot go on. i must really work hard and mug hard so that i really get grades i deserve. help me Lord.

tag replies:

garbie: yah i wish i had older sibs to guide me tooo =(
but nvm. i can make do.
anw, if engineering's really ur passion girl, then go for it! (:
rmb it's ur passion that's most impt now!

rachel: heya! thankyouu! i pray you do God's will too!

huiling: haha yupp no prob. just ask if you need info! (:
and i also hope you get to find out what you really wanna do soon!

kailing: i read! and tagged!
all the best deciding what you really want dear!
and i'll definitely keep in touch with youuu! (:

jaey: HAHA! i hope you get ur vet science scholarship!
and go melb/wherever.
go melb wif fel lah! that'll be cooool!(:

bren: stop appearing offline!
you are supposed to send me sooooo many things!
xp

toodles!

college applications

2006-07-15T15:54:00.000+08:00

oh my goodness.
my head is throbbing from all the information that's swamping my brain.
i wish i had older siblings to advise me on what courses to take, what unis to go to =(
but i don't.
so i have to go seek advice myself, and figure everything out by myself.
BOOOOO.

the MOE tea session was erm.
it just made me even more repelled by the idea of taking a teaching scholarship.
i think i won't take a teaching scholarship.
im just really uncomfortable with the whole idea of taking the teaching scholarship just because it's a scholarship.
it's just... unethical.
unless sometime this year some inspiration hits me and i suddenly find teaching a tad bit more enjoyable, i don't think it's right for me to take a teaching scholarship.

met caleb at the tea session.
he couldn't recognise me!
anw, he's a psc scholar (!!!) with MOE as his parent ministry.
good for him, since he sincerely loves teaching.
talked to him for quite a bit, and learnt alot.
i think i've made up my mind to go to US to study, not UK.
spent the entire afternoon looking at all the websites of the unis, narrowed down to 8 choices so far.
harvard (well, who knows?!), princeton, yale, u.penn, duke, dartmouth, u.mich, and erm.. nus (if i can't get an overseas scholarship)
but my SATS are screwed.
and why do some unis require TOEFL! =(
shitified. this just means i have to take and ace 3 major exams in the next half of the year.
no, make that 4, including prelims.
ARGHHH.
stupid me.
why didn't i research my options earlier.
oh and i'll prob do biochem.
am really tempted to do econs/philosophy, but i'm super scared i won't like them.
since i've absolutely no experience with the subjects whatsoever.
wanted to do math, but it's like so lame.
can you imagine if pple ask "what are you majoring in"
and you go "MATH" -.-
~~can someone just please tell me what course to study.~~
but biochem's the most likely one now.

think i shall go visit the US education information centre before this month is up.
there's all you need to know abt US universities there.
and even pple to advise you.
and also help to prepare you for SATS, TOEFL etc.
and a resource library.
ANYONE WANNA COME WITH ME?! =D
oh and the US fair is on 21st sep.

i think i'm remotely excited about this whole thing.
even though it involves so much thinking.
and self-searching.

scholarship day.

2006-07-14T19:48:00.000+08:00

i don't know why sometimes coming online just makes me all moody and angsty.
maybe the internet has this aura or evil force abt it that just envelopes me whenever i come online and makes me feel suffocated and depressed.
not clinically depressed of course.
just, depressed.
ok i am not sounding like my usual self now.
ah whatever.

today was scholarship day.
i think i've pretty much narrowed down my choices already.
i don't think i'll go for a psc scholarship.
the work's just not my cup of tea (no matter how interesting they try to paint it to be by saying we'll be rotated arnd diff ministries; i don't even want to work in a ministry for goodness' sakes!)
and serving a six year bond will just KILL me.
not to mention the high levels of stress.
~~and i view singapore as more of a place than a nation =x~~
so nope, definitely not me.
neither will i go for an a star scholarship.
research work is just drab drab booooringggggg.
no way i am able to tolerate 6 years (serving the bond) of research.

actually i think i better talk more with my parents about this.
i don't know why on earth are they so interested in getting me to take econs (aft accepting the fact that i don't want to do medicine anymore).
going for the MOE talk tmr. -.-
mommy wants me to go. so i shall just go.
cos i might take an MOE scholarship just... for the scholarship.
which is a really sucky attitude, but what do you do if ur family will be better off if u take a scholarship?
thought about what yahting told me today, and yes.
perhaps serving a 6 year bond teaching may not be so bad after all.
i'll just pity all the poor students who come under my tutileage.

jaey told me that the registeration deadline for the AVA scholarship closed last week.
WHAT?!! =(
i so wanted to get a scholarship to do marine biology.
jaey says she'll take a gap year and go get work experience.
i have to admit that sounds very very appealing.
i don't mind doing just that and go work at underwater world or the zoo.
that would help me gain exposure and i derive satisfaction working with animals (:
ok this is sounding better and better every second.
maybe i shld go check out the AVA website to see if that's really the path i want.

the other option i'm considering is the CAAS scholarship (: haha.
it was my childhood ambition to work in the airport. (
my kindergarden yearbook featured yours truly and in there i said i wanted to work in the airport next time! (: )
and it does sound interesting and appealing.
talked to the woman at the booth today.
one CAAS scholar actually did mathematics in the u?!
i was like o.O what does mathematics have anything to do with CAAS!
haha. but their scholars did mostly econs, international relations (i actually quite fancy this!), political science etc.
told mom abt this. surprisingly, she didn't object.
haha. maybe because it sounded wayyy better than my childhood ambition in the airport, which was the person to check in your baggage at the check-in counters =p
but she was all "econs is really useful in many areas in life, you know."
oh wow that was so subtle mom, so subtle indeed.

oh and the IE scholarship's pretty interesting too(:
i like anything to do with foreign relations.
i think it's cool to see how countries all over the world are interconnected and how connections vary between different countries.
but the business part of IE does not really appeal.
but maybe i'll grow to love it.
after all, singapore's manufacturing industry was my fav topic in social studies. HAHA.
yupp so this is another option.
maybe i'll go check out the firefly website.

so yupp it's either CAAS, AVA or IE. (IE being the least preferred)
but if i get the CAAS one i have to go decide what course i wanna take.
no wait, i should decide what course i wanna take now. i think i have conflicting interests.
but maybe that's normal?
haha.
yupp i think scholarship day was.. useful to a small extent cos it sort of helped me confirm what i want.
i think my interests have changed quite a bit since my sec sch years when i wanted to forensic scientist, a marine biologist or work in the navy.
yes, the navy!
HAHA. ok so the marine biologist thing hasn't changed (:
but the rest have!

and i realised sth about myself.
i'm so not empathetic to people's plights.
and i don't really have much compassion. =(
which is pretty sad. but i really don't feel this desire to help pple (which is why i stopped thinking about going into medicine),
and i don't think i'll gain great satisfaction from seeing pple's lives change for the better and knowing that i've helped play a part in improving their lives.
hmm.
maybe i will gain satisfaction, but the path to that satisfaction requires too much patience (which is what i have a severe lack of) and emotional involvement.
too much for me to handle.
which is why i won't do psychology or social work, but i really respect those who are truly passionate about serving the community and seeing to it that everyone's needs are met (:

haha. okie this was just to jot down some thoughts so i can refer back to them shld the need arise.
shall do more research with my parents, but most importantly, i will seek to do God's will.
and i will pray that His will be revealed to me so that i can obey Him.
cos it's only when i do His will that my ways will be prospered.
(there's a verse for this, but i'm kinda too lazy to check it up now =x)

i hope you all had a fulfilling scholarship day too!
maybe not in terms of gaining more knowledge, but i hope that at least it made you really think about what you want to do with your life in your future.
happy scholarship day everyone (HAHA!)

soccer stayover!!

2006-07-10T18:49:00.000+08:00

wheee! last night/this morning was funnn! (:
so we had worldcup finals stayover at fel's condo ytd!
aft church i rushed home and bathed, ironed my uniform, packed my bag.
ok, so i didn't rush.
i took my own sweet time and ended up meeting them at 6:30 instead of 5.
haha.

met fel and yingteng at cck control station and went to buy dinner.
reached her house and they (meaning kailing, huiyi, kegan, jon) were watching shallow hal already.
it's quite a nice show! (:
and there's the whole inner beauty vs outer beauty lesson to learn.
after that we watched big momma's house 2!
it was super HILARIOUS! go watch go watch!
it's abit like mrs. doubtfire, which was really funny too.
but the little boy is sooooo cute in the show! haha. *gush.
swin came sometime when we were watching big momma's house.
then aft big momma's house bren came and we watched scary movie 4.
which was a total waste of time.
it had absolutley NO PLOT AT ALL.
and it was so jarring the way they kept harping on the erm crotch issue.
i was like "ERM. RITEEE" thruout the whole movie.
don't watch it!

huiyi left like aft the first 15 mins of scary movie (smart move!)
then kegan ~~forced us~~ let us watch touch. hurr.
but we were falling asleep so quickly took out the mahjong table and played mahjong.
and WHEE!
i FINALLY learnt how to play mahjong (:
but still quite unsure of certain like. winning combinations.
and all the technical jargon was giving me a headache.
haha but mahjong's quite fun! (:

after that fel woke up and we (the girls) went to cut the watermelon.
and served the guys. -.-
but i think the watermelon worked cos i dint fall sick! haha.
source of vit c.
so we stoned arnd (the guys gayed arnd) till match started.
haha we (the girls) managed to take over the sofa(: so was watching in comfort.
except that its abit hard to doze off on the sofa cos can't really find a comfortable position.

i think the match was quite exciting.
but the girls just dozed off towards the end of the second half before extra time.
i think fel dozed off way earlier.
and kegan just pa1-ed on the floor and slept like erm 10 mins into the match. -.-
wanted to call pizza hut but the pple said that there were too many orders so cldn't deliver to our area.
like... okayyyy.
so called macs and it arrived at 4 plus?
(think we called at 3 plus)
but it was quite funny ordering cos while bren was ordering halfway i think france almost scored so we started screaming.
haha so ordering was halted temporarily.
but aft confirming the order the person asked "so what's the score now?"
haha. but quite poor thing cos they haf to work and can't watch the matches =(

yupp. don't think i'm really gonna comment much abt the match.
since i don't support either team.
but stupid italy won which is quite pissifying.
cos they shldn't even have gotten this far.
like they kept going past the knock-out stages due to dubious penalties given by incompetent refrees.
haha ok that's a bit mean (i mean the refreeing part, not italy not deserving to make it this far)
but SERIOUSLY lah.
and zidane was just being really stupid getting that red-card.
what a glamarous way to exit the international arena of football.
dweeb.

yupp but the game was really fast-paced.
and both sides kept attacking so i guess it was a good final.
(much as i hate to admit that)
hmm. so the guys went to sleep after the match.
but fel, kailing and i took turns washing up cos it was already 5 plus.
finally left the house at 6 plus, met huiyi at the interchange
and took the FREEZING 67 to school.
i was so tired i cldn't take it and slept thruout the journey.
think i was nodding off quite vigorously.
haha. so unglamm. =x

reached school and it was quite cool walking into school like 8 of us together.
haha. ate breakfast (1 pieceof choc chip bread at the class bench)
first time i reached school so early.
and first time i took a bus so early to school la!
like we left fel's condo at 6:10?
and im not even awake at that time usually.

but oh well.
i was really zoning out in school today.
like ruowei was talking to me abt her cousins during phys lecture, then apparently i replied her.
but i drifted off to sleep immediately after.
then like 5 mins later i woke up and asked her, "did i just talk to you ruowei?" -.-
she almost died laughing at me.
blehh.
and i just cldn't take it during break and slept at the class bench for half and hour.
was vaguely aware of rw (and her super high-pitched squeaky voice) nattering away to emily.
haha. phys tut was sucky.
really cldn't concentrate.
kept asking karin to pinch me. haha.
and block test paper 2 was given back.
=(
'nuff said.

i really enojoyed the stayover!
yayy. it was funnn!
haha and even though the dvds we watched weren't chick flicks,
but they were comedies and were a great de-stresser too (:
right fel?
and so yupp i was in a better mood ytd le.

oh and thanks everyone for all the tags (:
i'm better already.
and it helps to know that there'll always be friends like you'll who will be there for me (:
yupp so thankyou kailing, ruowei, yahting, jema, huiling and fel =D
love!

sad.

2006-07-07T15:12:00.000+08:00

there are a few times when i feel like killing myself.
literally.
this is one of the few rare times.

or at least hide myself frm the rest of the world.
and never come out again.
like go into permanent hibernation.
but doesn't that equal dying?

or emigrate somewhere where no one recognises me.
but i don't think i'm strong enough to survive on my own.
not yet.
maybe one day.
when i've toughened myself up.
when i've hardened my heart.

i think i'm not turning to the Lord enough.
if not why am i thinking like this.
i need to build up my faith too.
Lord please help me.
i'm here.
are You there?
why when it comes to this matter i ask and ask
but You don't seem to reply.
are You there?
but maybe You've answered me already.
but i just don't want to accept Your answer
cos i can't bear to.
so what on earth is wrong with me.
forgive me Lord.
give me some time to accept and obey Your will.

kailing,
we shall both be strong k?
isn't it ironic that we are so very often stuck in the same situations?
i know what's happening now really sucks.
but it's all part of growing up.
we shall learn not to be so sensitive.
not to get our hopes up.
and one day when all this blows over,
we will be proud of ourselves (:
thank you for being there,
for listening to me rant,
for ranting with me.

she will curl up and sleep,
tears streaming down her face.
tonight she will sleep,
without a smile on her face.

i overreact sometimes.

mooody.

2006-07-06T20:13:00.000+08:00

rawrr.
am feeling extremely moody now and i don't know why.
so much for my "mid-year's resolution".
i hate how i sometimes get totally in the mood for blogging.
but at that moment i just cant go online to blog my thoughts cos i either have to mug or do tuts or my sisters are hogging the comps.
then when i finally come online, all my thoughts just disappear into thin air.
and i'm left feeling hollow and empty.
sigh*

i think i better scram off before i start talking rubbish
and end up irritating myself and everyone
cos i'm really not in the best of moods now.

i know u read my blog even though u don't tag (:
anw, i understand how u feel now, even though it's a little different for me.
but praypraypray that God's will be done k!
cos that's what's most impt right?
(heh think i'm reminding myself too)
anw i got sth to tell u! haha.
we shall talk more often on the phone!
last night was great being able to talk to youu!
mug really really hard girl.
it's just a few more weeks.
take care girl.
i love u so so so so much!

for the fun of it...

2006-07-03T14:24:00.000+08:00

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Acts of Service.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:		10
Acts of Service:		7
Physical Touch:		6
Words of Affirmation:		4
Receiving Gifts:		3

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

haha. ok my results are quite extreme. blehhhh. but not as extreme as jonathan's. HAHAHAHAHA.

weddinggg!

2006-07-02T21:15:00.001+08:00

am going to blog abt the baptism and the wedding. but firstly.
I AM SAD THAT ENGLAND IS going home! =(( SOBS.
and becks resigned as england captain. GOOD.
he deserves better.
and i really can't stand sven goran eriksson

but every cloud has a silver lining.
and so does this EXTREMELY DARK AND GLOOMY CLOUD.
brazil's GOING HOME too!
and i love france for sending them packing! (:
but my love for france stops here cos i love portugal and germany more.
wahahaha.

anyway. i'm really looking forward to class slpover (what sleep?!) movie marathon & world cup finals (:
wheee! we will have loads of FUN!
~~and fall aslp the next day in school. HAHA~~

anw, baptism on fri was... an experience.
cos it was a charasmatic church. so it was really quite weird.
like they keep using "hallelujah" and "amen" so often that it's like these words become punctations.
like "hallelujah" is a comma and "amen" is a fullstop. o.O
and i don't believe in like. testimonies.
as in i dun think u need to like see God or have some special encounter to become a Christian.
i mean those getting baptised were talking abt how God healed them or made their businesses prosper and that's why they decided to believe in Him and get baptised.
which i found was a rather sad reason.
cos i mean i believe that the Christian faith is, well, about FAITH.
and you don't have to have God do something special for you before you feel it's worth it to become a Christian.
i mean cmon. God definitely DOES NOT owe that to you.
i think believing in Him is a gift. and after u place ur faith and trust in Him there'll naturally be loads of blessings and assurances that follow.
but goodness. u shld not make receiving blessings a criteria to meet before u become a Christian.
yah. that was what disturbed me the most.
and first time i saw immersion baptism! (cos my church practises sprinkling)
but nonetheless, thank you Lord for saving my uncle and aunt (:

so sat morn woke up bright and early (but still woke up late xp)
rushed to get ready and went to my aunt's house all the way in SELETAR. good grief.
in the end still reached early and the bride came back with her hubby only at 12 plus.
so i spent the time waiting watching the germany-argentina match (:
LEHMANN rocks. haha.
so finally claudia jie came back wif guang hui kor.
and OMYGOODNESS! her gown was SUPER NICE! it was off white with GOLD embroidery. (:
anw, there was the whole teaceremony thing.
first time watching a tea ceremony k. haha.
but yupp. had buffet lunch aft that.
and there was this HUGE suckling pig.
which i felt was quite revolting cos it was the whole pig.
and you could imagine the poor little piggie that was killed =x
so i refused to eat it. haha.

anw, can u imagine?
guang hui kor and claudia jie dated for NINE LONG YEARS!
oh my goodness. pei fu pei fu. haha.
but they had this WHOLE COOL theme to their wedding.
something revolving round green apples. (:
ranny kor (claudia jie's bro) helped with the wedding invites (which were really cool. i'll take a pic of it and post it up soon) and the pseudo-life! cover page that they made into a huge board.
aiyar. rich jiu shi rich. shuang fang jia ting super rich lah. haha

at night went to the oriental for the dinner.
and even though i've never heard of the hotel, it was surprisingly POSH.
haha. had cocktails. then entered the ballroom. they had a million green and silver helium-filled balloons hanging frm the ceiling! (: so CHIO.
and the wedding favour was green apples lah. -.-
but it was v unconventional and creative (:
(notice that the balloons were GREEN and silver: the whole green apple thingy)

anyway, dinner was really good. especially the dessert!
it was chocolate mousse ((: HEAVENLY!
~~i ate sharksfin soup. =(~~
i promise i won't do it during the next wedding dinner in oct.
but the soup was not ur usual sharksfin soup. it was DOUBLE-BOILED.
tasted so bu3. haha.

the dvd they played was damn sweet (:
cos they incl the pics of when they travelled the world together (rich mar!)
so there were pics of NUMEROUS places in europe, america, asia.
AWWWW.
and the sword party was cool!
cos guang hui kor is in the police force. then he went to OCS last time.
so he had all his brother's in the white ceremonial uniform. complete with swords.
then the bride and groom walked thru lah.
but the sword party sprung a surprise!
they refused to let them thru at one point until guang hui kor told claudia jie "iloveyou" in NINE diff languages. HAHA.
so poor guang hui kor was going arnd the tables trying to get enough languages.
in the end he did english, chinese, hokkien, canto, dutch, german, jap and sth else. then the last one was french, and they french kissed! HAHA. so innovative (:
yuppp. thoroughly enjoyed myself.
shall post pics another time.
the service frm the waiters was real good too.
enjoyable night =D

and so i can't wait for dorcas dear's wedding!
must go think of stuff to tekan kong wee with.
HAHA. can't let him get dorcas so easily mar.
WAHAHAHA. okie but dorcas told me not to be too mean.
AWWW.
so i'm looking forward to 9th sep! (:

off to find motivation to study phys =(

but before that, pics! (:

shi and i after the wedding!

qi and i on the way home (:

the LOVELY SCRUMPTIOUS SUPER DELICIOUS dessert! (:

the grand ballroom. notice the green apple on my plate (: and the balloon strings hanging frm the ceiling.

GERMANY vs ARGENTINA

2006-07-01T01:25:00.000+08:00

oh my goodness the germany vs argentina match is SUPER EXCITING! klose is PROOOOO! 5 goals this world cup le! if germany make it to the finals he can get the golden boot le. and ronaldo can just go home. HAHAHA.

back to the match. it's sooooo exciting. when argentina scored in the opening mins of the 2nd half i was like... NOOOOO! butbutbut! KLOSE saved the dayyy (: 10 mins to full time he scored! and kept german hopes alive! haha. now they're into the 30mins of extra time. oh man the suspense is AGONIZING. ARGH. think it's gonna be a penalty shootout le. oh man oh man. EXCITING! haha. everyone's sleeping now. but i'm still keeping my eyes peeled to the comp screen. can only resort to reading the live commentary on ESPN since my dad refused to let me go to my cousin's house to watch the match (in view of having to get up early tmr for the wedding). haha.

oh here's a thank you to all my commentators for the match! haha. thankyouuu! (: and YAY! germany wonnn! germany can kick italy out lah. then england kicks portugal and brazil out! haha. then i'll support BOTH teams in the finals (:

nites!

NEW LAYOUT!

2006-06-30T15:22:00.000+08:00

yay! new layout finally(:
it's definitely more simple than the previous one; i LIKE!
and finally i have a white bg.
means more freedom with font colours (:
haha. yupp. but the posting's a bit screwed.
the paragraphs don't really show. shall try to fix that.

pretty busy weekend (:
going shopping for last minute wedding stuff later.
then it's off to my uncle and aunty's BAPTISM!! (:
thankyou Lord
tomorrow's my cousin's wedding! will be out the whole day.
tea ceremony in the morning, dinner at some poshh hotel at night. (:
~~so all studying of phys will be pushed till sunday~~

lala. gotta scoot off now! i still like my layout! (:

partial freedom (:

2006-06-29T21:03:00.000+08:00

(: so it's one more paper left! but just knowing that we have 16 more weeks (or thereabouts) to As is really really scary. sigh* i shall take a short break and relax first before intensive mugging till 23rd nov.

karin, kailing, ruowei and i pigged out today! we had venezia, toriQ and takopachi! ((: ooh and subway cookies! haha. justine went TO THE GYM lah! oh mannn. but i really feel quite unfit. it's time to start exercising againn! shall maybe go swim one day or sth. i want a treadmill!! i refuse to go jogging. it's boooooringgggg.

finally can sit down and watch a full match on friday night (: am loooking forward to germany vs argentina. gooooo GERMANY ((: oh read the papers that cristiano ronaldo might transfer to real madrid?!?! like... WHAT??!! real madrid is undeserving lah! so much talent but not performing well. ~~like england~~

this is such a disjointed post. haha. actually during the studying period wanted to blog alot of times. but was too lazy lah. anyway, i've a favfavfav song now ((:

here's Only Hope by Mandy Moore (:

There's a song that's inside of my soul.
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold.
But you sing to me over and over and over again.

So, I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope.

Sing to me the song of the stars.
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again.
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again.

So I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now, you're my only hope.

I give you my destiny.
I'm giving you all of me.
I want your symphony, singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs,
I'm giving it back.

So I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray,
to be only yours I pray,
to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope.

hmmmmm, hmmmmm, oooooh.

happiest days of my june hols! (:

2006-06-17T18:46:00.000+08:00

hehhh. i know this is really slowww but i'm still gonna blog abt this past week! (: ok, maybe not the week but the first 3 days of the week(: they're prob the FUNNEST (ok, no such word, but still.)days of this hols. so THANKYOUUU karin, ruowei and kailing for the really fun times (: lalala. this post is gonna haf loads of pics! so i'm typing all this in word pad first! (not microsoft word cos they keep correcting your capital letters automatically, which makes the post look really ugly. haha. if you know what i mean)

okie so monday and wednesday we went to youth guidance to do CIP! (: meaningful! haha. we organised activites for the kids for the afternoon sessions. but im really glad jean and yokeee (haha dunno how to spell her name) were there cos they helped make instructions more clear and also played the icebreaker (whacko) which set the mood right. yupp. so on monday aft whacko we played polar bear with the kids! and surprisingly they understood the instructions really quickly and had a lot of fun playing it. ANDANDAND! i sat beside EDMUND(!!!) during whacko AND polar bear! AWWWW. haha. then during polar bear he was one of the polar bears. but he was voted out quite fast lah. then amber was the other polar bear. and when it was another round, he thought we voted her out le (but actually we were still discussing who to vote out)so he was so excited to tell us that we voted correctly he revealed tt amber was the polar bear. so haha. we knew to vote amber out. then amber was all "he told youuu!" and the rest were like edmund! bu ke yi jiang de! si le bu ke yi kai kou! haha. then edmund looked like he was gonna cry =(( haha. so i patted him on his head and said never mind laa! ((: haha. yupp. after polar bear we let them watch the green grass dvd. think they understood it. cos they were laughing at the appropriate parts. but debrief tt time abit sian diao. also quite impromptu lah. haha. but yupp. first day was quite good (: went to study with kailing at bpp's starbucks aft that (: i declare that banana mocha cream frapp is nice (: and coming frm me (the girl who absolutely HATES bananas), that says quite a bit (: but i guess cos the banana taste wasnt too strong and gave the mocha that little bit of sweetness that was needed to make it a positively HEAVENLY drink ((: and it goes well with shilin zha ji pai. hahaha.

on wednesday, our first activity was the HUGEHUGEHUGE snakes and ladders game(: we took like what. 3 hrs to do the board? and karin dunno took how long to do the HUGE die. gave the board and the die to youth guidance aft the game and they were so pleased with it. HAHAHA. we left our mark behind. hehh. and our hard work was worth it! i think the kids did enjoy themselves although they HATED the bonus questions (which were actually supposed to help them move forward faster) and LOVED the sweets (: hahaha. played two rounds, and EDWIN AND EDMUND were soooooo adorable! AWWWWWW. haha. lala. took so many pics of them (: shall post the nicer ones up. haha. after that played capt's ball. which i think they enjoyed the most. haha. yingteng was on the guy's team but he was being a lousy defenderrr. haha. 4 of us dint play cos too many pple le. anyway, i think the kids were quite sweet and cooperative (: and for that i'm thankful. was quite apprehensive at first as to how the cip would be like. was v worried that the kids won't like what we planned or that they wont understand the games (esp polar bear) then was v afraid will leng chang. but thank God none of that happened! (: and so i had a very meaningful monday and wednesday (: and it kind of ignited this passion in me to contribute back more to society and to stop living in my own sheltered jaded comfort zone. yupp.

pics for our CIP (:

our enormous snakes and ladder board! and the 2 HUGE die! (:

ah long, EDWIN, EDMUND!! haha. obvious favouritism here xp

the loveliest “bonus” square. drawn by me of course.

hehh. my 2 darlings (:

ah en and the other kids! this picture is dedicated to huiling! hahaha.

kids playing capt’s ball. yingteng is obviously slacking. haha.

more kids! (:

once again, EDMUND! (with wenshan)

and EDWIN!! (with wenshan also)

US (: at the end, having learnt a lot thru this CIP (:

TUESDAY! we went to the zoooooo! haha. kailing and i were supposed to meet at cck interchange at erm 9:20. haha. but i guess we were both late (her bus refused to come and i took longer than expected to get ready. hehhh) but i still reached earlier! lalala.so yupp. reached the zoo at 10:03 (3 mins late) haha. oh but before that, on the way to the zoo we took this highway that was the same highway that the taxi took when clement and i went to get the pitcher plant (which subsequently died in yaozhen's care rather quickly) last year for pw. haha. brought back a flood of pw memories, and i never thought i'd say this but hey! i miss pw! not really the project itself (like i could ever miss the ants.) but more like working with clement, huiling and yaozhen (: HI138!!! (: anw, back to the zooo. we thought we were earlier than karin and ruowei but they cheated cos karin's mom fetched them there so yupp. haha. then we were so excited to get into the zoo that we forgot the map -.- haha. so had to go back to the entrance and get one. the girl was so amused. blehhh. so anw, stupid karin was niao-ing me frm the moment she saw me lahhh. HMPH. but nvm, it stopped soon aft cos i mean, it's hard to niao me too much. you prob can't bear to niao such a lovable person like me. HAHAHA. so lala. we went for the spirits of the rainforest show. the otter is cuteee!
the otter doing its part, recycling! (:

and the seal is ULTRA CUTEEE! seeee! it was pretending to cover its eyes for one of the tricks! haha. AWW. i love marine animals (:
how cuteee! (:

oh and they kinda used the same general idea or suprise/fear for the component of audience participation just like the night safari's show. haha. not gonna reveal much lah. go to the zoo and watch it for yourself. for best viewing you should sit at the middle block about the 5th/ 6th row. yuppp. then only will the show be truly unforgettable and a great experience. yupp after that walked quite alot. haha. at the barbary SHEEP enclosure, everyone took turns taking pics with kailing cos aft all, i mean, we are at the barbary SHEEP enclosure marrr. HAHA. here are the pics with kailing, the star attraction of the barbary SHEEP enclosure. (ok i think kailing is gonna kill me. hahahaha)
kailing and karin! (:
kailing and ruowei! (:
kailing and i! (:

oh and this is me with shades. we all tried kailing’s shades. hehh. for the pics of the rest with shades, go to kailing’s blog. i don’t have the pics.
HEE (:

then we wanted to catch the animal friends show at the children's area. the dogs are cuteee! and ruowei saw her immediate relatives! and her immediate relative-in-law. but so sad. they were having internal squabbles. the relative-in-law was chasing her relatives and scaring them. xp but the show was quite a disappointment lah. became super short and not as interesting as the last time i saw it (in 2003). and the dog was shua-ing pi qi also. haha. anw aft tt we went to kfc and shared 2 buddy meals! haha. you can read kailing's blog for the foodwastage part. i'm too lazy to type out. haha. but tsk. i shld haf just said that i dun mind eating those too. haha. but it was good to eat fried chicken!! (even though it's how oily and unhealthy) and i ate coleslawwww which is my favouriteee! and drank mountain deww! yayy. and contrary to some WEIRD belief, eating kfc is so NOT childish. haha. aftermath of our meal (: too bad we couldn't keep the bucket. whee! superman (:
kfc’s superman buddy meal (:

after lunch the sky was beginning to get dark. but we just continued walking lahh. wanted to visit ALL the enclosures (: so we walked and walked and ended up at the snake enclosure. they were loads of snakes. including annacondas and this really thin long green snake and these other green not so think snakes that looked like a bunch of unripe bananas cos of they way they curl up (hanging on the brance somemore) haha. and THEN. it started raining. like thunder, lightning.. thunderstorm lah. so great we were stuck in the snake enclosure. haha. and kailing who hates snakes was feeeling quite unsettled. haha. so we sat down. and talked. and started coming up with really imaginative stories about snakes sssslithering up frm the drain that was about 50 cm frm where we were sitting. haha. oh but we dint go to the walk thru reptile encounter lah cos kailing dint want to. yuppp. so finally the rain stopped and we continued walking. haha. we were actually complaining that we should have ran to the pygmy hippo enclosure or penguin enclosure and get stuck with cute animals instead of snakes. haha. oooh. then we went to the orangutans part, and there was this really poser female orangutan who was swinging frm this branch v near us (as in there were a grp of orangutans who are not enclosed, and they can interact with humans. yupp. there was even some net-like thinging for them to bounce about and play in high up in the trees) so anw. this orangutan was like pausing every few swings to pose for cameras. haha. so aa. then when she reached the other tree which was the tree we were sheltered by, she was like posing for a while. then she started peeing! (as in the pee won't reach us cos we were not directly under her) THEN she stuck her hand in her flow of pee and started sniffing her hand! like.. ewww! and THEN, she started like flinging her hand to like shake of the pee. and i was all. oh gross. don't start shaking your hand vigourously or all your pee will hit us! haha. quite gross lah. then she started shaking the branches, which made all the rainwater cascade down on us. so mischievous! haha.
the really mischievous orangutan! (:

hmm. i can't really remember the chronological order of the animals we visited, so i'll just randomly write abt animals that made an impression. okie. so there were the white tigers! (: there was this really white white tiger. haha. and another one that kept swimming in the water lahh. i prefer white tigers to the normal orange/yellow/brown tigers.
white tiger!

haha. and there was also the penguins! which are really cute. we watched them playing for awhile. before karin got distracted by her DUBONG. haha. her pet name for the manatees. haha. but the manatees were really FAT and look so clumsy! i dunno how they manage to erm move abt in the water. haha.
penguins! although they look quite like ducks here.

then there was also the pygmy hippos! which are lumbering and fatt. but v cuteee! (: and apparently when pygmy hippos yawn, it's a sign of affection! haha. how cuteee.
the sign! haha(:
and the hippo! pygmy hippos are actually the smallest of the whole hippo family!

and the mongoose is cutee! look at them here. they are like all cuddled up into a pile. haha.

SUPER cute! (:
can u see the really tiny one? ((:

and we saw the babirussa! which looks like pumbaa frm timon and pumbaa. haha. but it's quite gross lah with its 3 or 4 horns. haha.
pseudo-pumbaa! haha!

and there were kangaroos! and they hopped across the path where we were standing on. so cuteee! (: hoppity hop. i like kangaroos! but the ones i saw in aussie were bigger and nicer. haha. so you should go to australia to see the kangaroos in their natural habitats. but nonetheless, here are the kangaroos (:
kangaroooooos!

oh and there was this interesting legend of how the tapir came about, but i forgot to take a pic of the sign. so here's the tapir anyway.

hoho. and there was this really spastic camel. HAHA. cos he/she was resting there, but its mouth wasn't closed. its like it was purposely jutting out its teeth for everyone to see! so i came up with this theory of how the camel had a blocked nose and so had to open its mouth to breathe. haha. so intelligent i know.
camel with teeth jutting out!
and a more normal camel. haha.

and polar bears are TALLL! and we read the life story of the polar bear cub! except that he's quite old. 16 years old i think. haha. look at how we measure up to the polar bear at full height!
karin and kailing (:
garbies with the polar bear! (:

the crocodiles were HUGE and SCARY. their bodies looked like scaly slides.. they were THAT huge. haha. oh but there was this crocodile called the... MUGGER CROCODILE! haha. maybe it was first discovered in singapore. now that would be so appropriate! haha. GINORMOUS crocs:
scaryyy.
mugger croc! haha.

oooh and the racooons were sooooo cute! they were hiding after the rain. but yuppp. managed to get a pic of them in their lil cave (:
AWWW.

oh and on the way to looking at the racoons we were pai-ing this video. that was erm highly entertaining! (: cos karin and i are such good actresses. haha. hidden talents we do have. lala. haha. we were laughing and laughing when we watched the video. haha. the snippets of what we said should give you an idea what the video was like. it went sth like this. haha. "oooh where are we?!" "i don't know!" "oh! we're looking at the map upsidedown!" "oooh! you're so smart to figure tt out!" "oooh look PINK!" "oh look the sign says 'garden with a view'!" "oooh! we should have gardens with b,c,d, until z views! then we'll have 26 gardens!" "ooh yeah! one garden for everyone in our class!" "oooh teehee!" *excited squeals" HAHAHA. okie. i have to say karin and i were ACTING. yupp. haha. then went to this place with loads of plants. took some pics there (: actually most of our grp pics were taken there. haha. here they areee.
actually this was outside the cheetah enclosure. haha. kailing, me, karin! (:
ruowei.kailing.me.karin (: notice the pink flowers in the background! (:
us again!

oh and we also walked thru the fragile rainforest and saw so many super cute animals! like flying foxes (which are in reality bats) and lemeurs and ducks! (: cuteee!
the lemeur. it came real close to us!
cute lil duckie! (:

finally we saw karin's beloved lions. haha. she got so excited hearing the roars. haha. and of course the meerkats! who are ABSOLUTELY adorable! ((: karin spotted this really really tiny baby meerkat which was soooo cuteeee! haha. here is a meerkat doing sentry duty. on tiptoes! haha.
cuteeeeee! ((:

oh and might i add that i absolutely love the zoo dustbins cos they are soo cute! haha! here am i with a tiger-striped one! (:

okie finally we exited the zoo and went to have affairs with jerry and ben. haha. yummy yummy BEN&JERRY'S! (: had phish food and strawberry cheescake. phish food was HEAVENLY (: i like the choc fishies inside! haha. loads of laughter and smiles while feasting on ben&jerry's.
haha. “euphoria to go!” indeed.
phish food + strawberry cheesecake!

lovely way to conclude a lovely day! (: yayyyy. i really enjoyed myself this past monday, tues and wed! ((: and once again, lovelove! to ruowei, kailing and karin (: *HUGS.
my current desktop pic (:

oh my goodness this entry took me 3 hours. ARGH. ok i better get off now.

where legends are bornnn (:

2006-06-11T19:20:00.000+08:00

wheee! have been watching world cup world cup and more world cup! (: ~~and i've not been mugging.~~ hehh. my whole family stayed up to watch the opening match except for my 3rd sis cos she had trng the nx day. my mom was not really watching lah. she doesn't know how to appreciate soccer. anyway. the game was quite exciting in the first quarter. so many goals! haha. but the beginning of the second half was boringggg. they kept passing the ball here and there. was going to fall aslp. good thing things started to pick up abit towards the end of the second half. but 6 goals for an opening match is like.. WOWEE. haha. but sadly, i dun think germany's gonna make it far. think they'll fall at the quarter finals. their football was baddddd. maybe it'll improve abit once ballack starts playing but, how much can one player contribute? and the defenders shld start playing by the refree's whistle and not wait for an offside to be called. just keep defending lah. the second goal really should not have been conceeded. quite sad lah. since i'm kind of supporting germany. (haha. i think the reason i support germany is cos i learnt german xp jema supports germany for the same reason tooo! haha)

oh well. anyway, cos the irritating msian authorities scrambled the rtm channel, i've no more home access to the other world cup matches. grr. SO. yesterday my sis, dad and i went to macs at beauty world to watch (: i tell you it was sooooo crowded! (which is VERY RARE for the beauty world macs cos beauty world is like how ulu.) so i was STANDING thruout the entire match lahh. but quite exciting watching wif so many other pple cos got qi fen! then the collective squeals and moans, haha. so fun! anyway. england is such a disappointment. players are too overpaid lah. not performing. can you believe they get to the top of the table WITHOUT SCORING A SINGLE GOAL. lame. last night's game was so ERPS. i think the argentina vs ivory coast one was more exciting. but lampard was good lah. his 3 attempts at goal were ((: but i think if england dosen't buck up, they're not going to make it far too. boooo. let's hope rooney can help salvage abit of the situation.

booo. i really think brazil are gonnna win. whyyy. i don't want them to win! even though they deserve it=(

2006-06-08T13:46:00.000+08:00

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Huili!

Originally, huili could not fly.
Half a cup of huili contains only seventeen calories.
The Church of Scientology was founded in 1953, at Washington D.C., by huili.
Without huili, we would have to pollinate apple trees by hand.
The patron saint of huili is Saint Eugenie!
Forty percent of the world's almonds and twenty percent of the world's peanuts are used in the manufacture of huili.
Scientists have discovered that huili can smell the presence of autism in children!
Until the 1960s, huili was not allowed to enter Disneyland.
The opposite sides of huili always add up to seven!
In Eastern Africa you can buy beer brewed from huili.

WHAT?!?! this is so rubbish! haha. i'm amused -.-

#1: that means i can fly now? that's news (:
#7: wow. i have such a cool super power! HAHA.
#9: SEVEN? SEVEN! WHEE! my all time favourite number! lala.
i think the implications of #4, #6 and #10 are sick lah. lamee. haha. ok i'm boreddd.

WHEEEEEE! =D

2006-06-07T22:25:00.000+08:00

CAUTION: BURST OF HAPPINESS AHEAD! =D

haha. this is gonna be a happy happy post(: cos i'm feeling happy noww! haha. this is rare! so i shall list down the reasons for my happiness, so the next time i'm feeling down, i can read this post to lift my spirits! (:

why i'm happy: (haha!)
1. i went out to study with my sister today at starbucks! (: sister bondinggg. haha.
2. we ended up at our aunty's housee! cos i told weilong kor (my absolute favouritest cousin!) we were at plaza, then he asked us to come up to his place. so when starbucks got too cold, we went up.
3. and weilong kor ended up cooking dinner specially for us (: and it was yummmyy! i tell you, the men in the koh family are SUPER good at cooking! ((: my daddy's jap foood is to die for, my uncle's chilli crab is superb and my cousin's culinary skills are not bad! (:
4. i'm talking to karin online noww! about happy stuff! HAHA.
5. i have nice new songs on my playlist. secret garden! i likee! it's VERY (haha!) soothing and quite fairytale-ish! (:

yupppp. haha. doesn't sound like alot but. well. after the really shitty day i had yesterday, today was GOOOOD in comparison (: haha. i shall scoot off now! *skips away* (:

and so i will practice more tolerance and learn to be a better example (:

ARGH.

2006-06-05T15:35:00.000+08:00

i just can't seem to study! reading my notes SUPER slowly, getting distracted by so many things, not being able to concentrate! ARGHHH. this sucks. i want to be able to sit down and mug for like at least 3 hrs straight! my brain's not functioning lah. irritating. feel so stupid and slow. like i must reread the sentence ten freaking times before it gets in and i can move on. at this rate i'll not even finish half of the syllabus by the time BT2 comes arnd lahhh. good grief. what's wrong with me!! ARGH. ~~and it really doesn't help that world cup starts this friday~~

ok. shall try to relax then really mug seriously for the rest of the day. shall blog abt random things then:

Given is superrrr cute! awwww. such a chatty little toddler. keeps wanting to tell me stuff in his excited high-pitched voice. haha. then ytd, when i was going to leave after afternoon service, i was like "bye Given!" and he was like "byeee byeee!" then aft a while he was like "hughug!" AWW. then he came over and hugged me goodbye. then my sister got jealous. HAHA. and she was like "Given, give me a hug too!" then he hugged her too. and i was like "flyingg kiss Given!" then he was like "flying kiss! hughug again!" haha. so he hugged me again! so cuteee! awww. i shall take a picture of him one day and post it here! (:

HAHA. and my little cousin (the one with the korean girlfriend. haha. refer to prev entries.) was trying to breakdance on my bed. hahaha. got potential lahhhh. not bad. but it was quite silly and you could tell he was doing it to get attention. but quite good impersonation lah. my sister and i were laughing at him though xp and after we chased him out of our room he stood in the doorway and struck a hand-on-hip-with-hip-jutting-out pose. HAHA. lameee.

i think england's crouch is cute! with his post-victory robotic dances. HAHA. so cuteee! and he's TALL also (: haha. not bad. someone to watch. he's on attack with michael owen. let's hope he can play up to at least 3/4 of rooney's standard. and hopefully rooney can still recover in time for the final few matches. and even though i hate myself for being so conventional and so like the many millions of people around the world, i guess i do support england. haha. and it's probably beckham's last world cup!! boohoooo. so all the more reason to support england this world cup. oh sidetrack. the today newspaper has been going on a ronaldo spree! they keep featuring articles on cristiano ronaldo, so i've had to cut out so many newspaper articles for karin darling (who doesn't have access to the today newspaper) HAHA. ahhh shit. i'm in the world cup mood now! crap lahh. was so excited aft reading the papers today cos got so many reports! haha. and daddy gave me this HUGE poster featuring all the world cup teams and the groups and fixtures(: i hung it up in the living room! share the joy mahhh. HEE. am gonna update the scores on that poster! (they give space on the poster for that)

okay. thinking about the world cup has put me in a better mood (: i shall go back to mugging now! haha.

HIPHOP jelly!

2006-05-30T22:52:00.000+08:00

wanted to blog abt this on sun, but felt too siann. so blogging now. but before that, just wanna say that YAY! last napfa over and done with on thurs (: actually i quite like 5 items. but 2.4 is like ughh. anw, i managed to get 30 pts! yayness! what a way to end the years of napfa tests. so yay. i was very pleased on thurs. haha.

moving on. everyone, go try paddle pop's HIPHOPJELLY icecream! haha. i think it's super cuteeee! cos my sisters and i eat it my sucking out all the icecream leaving the jelly behind. so it's like this huge GREEN FLOPPY TONGUE there. haha. ok sounds quite gross. but my sisters and i were zi high-ing on sunday (: aft church daddy and mommy went to do grocery shopping. so meis and i sneaked off to buy 4 hiphopjellys. one for each of us (: haha. and we were busy goofing arnd taking photos. oh but my youngest mei tripped and fell down the stairs on the way home while eating her hiphopjelly. so.. there it went. haha. but yupp. photos!

L-R:me.yi.qi yisie dropped her hiphopjelly.

qi with her loong hiphopjelly. (:

actually we took alot more pics. but i look fat in most of them =( so i refuse to post them. HAHA.

on mon aft bio karin, kailing, garbie and i went to german market place to get chocs. the chocs are HEAVENLY i tell you. haha. anyway. i saw mrs DVS! haha. that's deline victoria soh. wif her son isaac! isaac's so cute! he's sooooo shy. and mrs soh kept asking him to "call jie-jie". awww. i miss mrs soh. she's still ~~short~~pretty as ever! (:

came back frm celene's grandma's wake. auntie waihoong was pretty upset. but at least we know her grandma is in heaven with the Lord. for that, we can be thankful and rejoice for. but it was great to see celene and jonah again. they landed at 1 am today so they were pretty tired. and the heat was really getting to them cos it's winter down under now. but managed to catch up a little with her (: she's grown prettier! hope i get to see her again before she flies back. i doubt she'll be reading this but: hey celene. it was really good to see you again (: i promise to reply your email soon! so sorry for the few months of silence =x you take care alrite? we'll be praying for you and your family!

freaking cool.

2006-05-27T17:23:00.000+08:00

ripped off matilda's lj. this is freaking cool!

YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH.
This is cool.
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate(more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1756 . If you haven't, add 1755.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You've reached the end.
You should have a three digit number

The first digit of this was your original number(how many times you want to have chocolate each week).
The next two numbers are...
*
*
*
*
*
YOUR AGE!

THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2006) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS. (:

mydearestcousin(:

2006-05-25T20:34:00.000+08:00

this is what my little pri 1 cousin's report book says: "(his name) is a kind and well-liked class member who works very well in cooperative groups. He communicates confidently with teachers and classmates and shows respect towards them. He accepts any responsibility given to him." haha. my whole family laughed like crazy when we saw this, cos my uncle told us a few days back that when he went to meet his form teacher, his teacher was complaining how talkative he was. and how he's always with all the girls in class, like the girls literally swarm around him. HAHA. my lil cousin, the Cassanova, the Don Juan. oh man this is hilarious. thenthenTHEN. we were teasing him about all his girlfriends after he showed us his report book, and we were like, aww didi, you're so well-liked ar? and something else lah. then he replied, "they all love me!" awww. HAHA. i almost died laughing. my little cousin is sooooo cute (: and he keeps going on and on about this korean girl called "ji-ho"(i forgot how to spell her name, shall ask him tmr xp) or something. apparently she's his ~~girl~~best friend. haha. and so even though my cousin is rather annoying and very irritating at times, i still love him (:

updateeee.

2006-05-22T21:50:00.000+08:00

[edited on 24th May (right at the bottom)]
wanted to update ytd. but got caught up reading all my past entries. therefore, i did not do my phys tut. oh man. did i just type "therefore"? sheesh. anyway. i've nothing to blog about; inspiration to blog did come sometime during the past week but then it fleww away just a quickly as it came. ah wells.

j1s are having sabbaticals noww =( i wanttt! its not fair that they get one whole week and we only got 3 days last year. ok, i think i've whined enough about this le. haha. but i miss ocean ambassadors prog! it was supersupersuper fun! (: heard frm ms soh it's only 2 days this year so... lala. that's a little comfort. i miss underwater world! i wish we cld haf continued doing cip there, but it's abit impractical and meaningless lah. cos it's not really cip, i think we're doing it more because we want to cos we enjoy it and not cos we're contributing back to community. i don't know, but being arnd sea animals makes me happy (: dolphins are my love! but i wonder if being a marine biologist is the right option. i mean, its not only impractical (in spore at least), i don't know if my passion can really sustain me throughout my entire course of study, not to mention job. i mean there'll definitely be boring parts like studying about plankton (HORRORS!)and all the itty bitty crustaceans, but can my love and passion for sea mammals + dolphins carry me thru these boring moments? i wonder. i think i need to find out more abt the curriculum and job scope for marine biologists, before i decide. but as of now, i really don't know what i want to do besides this. and even the passion for this is dwindling low. sighhh. sometimes i wish i still had that super strong conviction to be a doctor which lasted thru my sec4 and j1 years. but TAG made me see things, and i decided that being a doctor doesn't suit me. i don't truly have that longing to heal the sick, the compassion for patients, the patience to treat others, and the courage to treat really ill people, like pple wif cancer or other terminal diseases. i dunno. i think i'll go into depression or something if my patient dies on me. so yupp. no medicine. i think. AHHH. i dunno LAH.

there is no way i'm going to be able to finish studying for blocktest2. no freaking way i tell you, not when the whole syllabus is covered and at most i've only got 4 weeks. this makes it 1 week per subject, not to mention the stupid gp homework we've got. and like it's ever possible to finish the entire phys/chem syllabus in 1 week. let's not even go into bio. so whatever. i'm gonna just do my best. no point getting all stressed now. i'll keep that for later in the year. yupp. so i'm not going to whine about not being able to finish studying, not going to panic and hyperventilate. YEAH RIGHT.

[edit]heh. forgot to reply tags. so yupp. here i am(:
yahting: haha. yupps. thx(:
fel: AIYOOOO. den u better watch more tv and dun reflect so much! haha. but mm. spending time wif urself is good cos u dun haf to wry abt how ure behaving n whether it'll piss/offend/hurt others.
garbie: wowww. rare tag. HAHA.
rach: hey! erps. i confess i dun rly read ur blog anymore. but i shall still try to visit it occasionally (: hows aussie?
wits: haha. thankyouuu. if i had as much free time as u, i'd go search for ur blog too. but i don't. haha.
max: HEY! erps =x why u rmb this kind of things?! haha. yayy. phpps! (:
huiling: (: thx for the encouraging tagg (:
matilda: HAHA. i havent visited urs in ages too xp NOOOOO. its either 2 linden drive or 21! not 12! heh. now tt i think of it, i think it's 2 linden drive. 21 linden drive is the boarding sch rite?haha.
bren: but the guys are much smarterrr =(
waye: oh my goodness really?!!? oh mannn. u still keep in touch wif him? i miss him and his merlion blood and jian fei ji huas! booo.
[/edit]

wishingforyouonafallingstar*

2006-05-12T16:55:00.000+08:00

yesterday was sports day. for the first time in all my 6 years (ok, 5. since i kind of ponned last year's. was playing cards at class bench) attending the hwachong-nanyang-chinesehigh combined sport's meet, i was actually glad it was combined. with nanyang at least. i could do without the chinese high guys but ohwell. saw my nanyang teachers (: yay. they still remember me (: mrs chua, ms koh, mrs ho, chailaoshi. wonder what happened to mrs see and mr derek tan. seeing them was like... WOAH rush of affections suddenly. its like... i realised i really do miss nanyang. really. i'm really proud to be a nanyang girl. proud to have worn that horrible hongzi. proud to have studied in 21 Linden Drive (: every nanyang girl a respected member of society ((: as of now, i'm not sure if i can say i'm proud to be a hwachongian, i mean i guess when it's time to leave i'll probably feel proud (as it happened in nanyang). but now. i really really miss nanyang. i miss being in an all-girls school (it kind of always boils down to this, doesn't it?). i miss knowing everyone in my batch. knowing every teacher. being in nanyang was being part of a family. (cheesy but oh how true)

and then. sport's day was all about running right? so yeah. it made me think of track. and ms sabrina still remembers me! oh goodness. it was so WEIRD. cos i saw her and was just gonna walk past her, thinking she'd forgotten abt me. then she gave a lil smile and i was like shit. so i smiled and she said hi and i said hi ms sabrina. argh. ok. this shldn't sound weird but for the ill-informed, ms sabrina was my track tchr-in-charge in sec 4. as in she was in charge of the rojak grp (i absolutely HATED how they just dumped those who were not tt talented into this grp) and cos i was forever ponning track since end of sec3, i was in tt group. but during one trng, ms sab saw me run and she was like, talent wasted. i dunno. i keep getting that nowadays. its like jus in the morn b4 sports day, daddy asked if i was running. when i was like, no, he said: talent wasted. he was disappointed. i could tell. i hate it when this happens. i hate it when pple tell me i'm a talent wasted. i hate it cos i know its true. and then i start hating myself. i mean sometimes i dunno, but i wonder why God gave me such a talent, and didn't give me the PASSION to pursue that talent. i absolutely loathe running. it's just so.. so boring. and it's hard to train when you're hating every second that you train. when you're counting down to the time trng ends. i dunno. this whole thing frustrates me. maybe i shld have tried to persuade myself to love running. but can that really happen? can you really persuade yourself to start loving, if not at least liking something you absolutely detest now? i really dunno. i really doubt it. but maybe i shld have at least tried to be a better steward of what God has given. i shldn't have just wallowed in my constant state of "i-hate-running" or "i'm-never-gonna-run-again". maybe.

i know i've always said that joining track was one of my biggest regrets in life, and i don't deny that it still is. but i guess i've come to realise that yes, things do happen for a purpose. and that perhaps joining track just taught me to really carefully consider my other choices in life so that i'll not end up regretting these choices next time. so yeah. even though i really hated track and i really regret joining track, thank you Lord for putting me in track anyway.

in a very blogg-y mood now. this usually happens only on sunday mornings in church cos when u listen to the sermon and God speaks to u and u can't wait to blog abt it. but sadly, that desire soon disappears and by the time u reach home, u don't feel like blogging anymore.

read amzie's blog just now. i'm glad that she's having so much fun in america. (: even though she's all alone out there, thank God she's having a ball of a time and that she's safe. then i got down to thinking abt being alone. i mean, something rachie said on wed made me think. she said only losers think it's loser-ish to be alone. i was like. woah. cos i always dread being alone. i don't like to do things by myself (so i really admire amzie for being able to have so much fun touring grandcanyon alone) and i esp hate shopping alone cos yeah, i think it's pretty sad to be alone. like.. i dunno. you have no friends or sth? but even as i typed the prev statement, i realise that most of the time, people are alone cos they choose to be alone. they want to be alone. i can definitely identify with the feeling of wanting to be alone at times. mm. maybe it's time i change my stereotypical mindset abt being alone, cos well, being alone does not = being lonely/being loserish.

don't u just hate it when pple invade ur privacy? i mean if a blog's meant to be private then that's what it shld be. private. right? and if ur fren gives you access to his/her private blog, you shld respect the very basic fact that it's private and keep the contents of the blog to urself. you should DEFINITELY NOT copy and paste the stuff tt's in that blog onto a msn convo for others to read. what were you thinking?! i feel sad for you; you don't understand the fundamental principles of trust and respect, esp btw friends. i can assure u, trust is NEVER easily earned back once it is lost. whoever u are that did it, u ought to be ashamed of yourself. u don't even dare to own up to ur fren when she asked u. i hope that u reflect and realise your grave folly.

ok. this was a rather disjointed post. but whatever. cranky mood right now. rawrrr.

harmoc concert.class day 06

2006-05-08T21:30:00.000+08:00

busy week over (: slack week started ((: HAHA. i promised garbie i'll blog abt concert and class day so yupp. here i am. but suddenly all my inspiration has vanished after i researched for bio independent learning. blehhh.

ok i typed tt last night. shall start blogging properly now. hmm. last night was well. eventful. k maybe that's not the right word. but oh well. i'm not supposed to be blogging abt that. so anw. back to harmoc concert. so we were let off at 12. but garbie and i wanted to stay for bio lect. so aft bio lect we ~~slowly strolled~~ chionged to the drama centre. everyone was alr in position; they were gg to start first full dress rehearsal. garbie and i quickly rushed to change and when we were ready they alr started pavane. lala. first rehearsal was abit luan4 la. every1 was everywhere. we still took too long and were too noisy clearing stage, piano not v in position blah blah. but garbie and i found another love pillar! (: in addition to the one we discovered during rehearsal on tues (: haha. so we have 2 love pillars, one on each side of the stage! 2nd full dress rehearsal went better. but we were running out of time. think esther and hongpei esp were like panicking. so we rushed to eat and quickly ran behind the curtains to wait for the drama centre to fill up. was quite nervous behind the curtains lah. i think it was the general mood then. when the drama centre was 3/4 full, we began our concert. RADETSKY MARCH! i love that piece. its so lively and full of energy. perfect opening and encore piece (: then we had pavane, my section piece, blah blah (can't rly rmb everything). i rmb tt i was feeling pretty sad halfway thru the concert cos well, it was coming to an end soon and i dint want it to. rly understood what "tai shang yi fen zhong, tai xia shi nian gong" meant. and not only that. but i was quite surprised to find myself missing all the rehearsals and the practices. i guess its cos harmoc pple are rly friendly and sweet (: and even though i complained a whole lot whenever there were practices (esp on saturdays!), i know deep down i never regretted joining, maybe i even regret not joining harmoc earlier, and not being serious abt it until a few mths before concert.

yupp. i never thought i'd say this but harmoc did make my past few mths in school abit more enjoyable (: and thank u harmoc pple for being so warm and welcoming and friendly to a slacker like me. haha. special mention to: section 3 j2s! - kimberle, wu juan, shen ying, shengtao, hongpei, yunting. and also esther, xueyi, max, huifang. (: and of course, my DEAREST GARBIE (: for all the backstage talks, all the laughter, for sticking by me throughout all the practs and rehearsals. i think we grew alot closer cos of harmoc, so that's 1 more (major) reason why i don't regret joining (: let's jiayou for arts fest k garbie? we'll still get our 8/8 for phys spa skill a. haha. and thank u everyone who bothered to come down for the concert (: it meant alot!

now class day. cldn't join the class in the day activity but glad most if not all of u had fun, even though there was some unhappiness at the beginning. i think the pics shld do the talking, so go see fel's pics and whoever else that took pics (pls upload them!). i did enjoy myself that night (: special thanks to mrs lim, ms tan and mr lee for taking time off to grace our event (: haven't rly gotten my thoughts abt class day sorted out yet. will do so in due time, and maybe then i'll blog abt it. but i enjoyed class day ALOT. special thank yous to all who made it possible, esp to those who were involved in the organising. pyramid game was super fun! haha. and yayy. haagen dazs treat (: i still want ben and jerry's though. i like our HI138 (it's HI138, not HI139 fel!) picture alot (: whee! lovelovelove HI138! ((: yupps. i guess i'm really not v coherent abt class day. like i said, my thoughts havent been sorted out properly. just realised i've alot to complete today. shall get off the comp and start on the HUGE stack of work. but before that, i think 05s75 is really quite a united class, so rock on 75! we rock. we stone (:

u say u've got no time. but is tt rly the case. or are u just pushing us away. because if u're not, why is it tt we get the feeling u are? it miffed us pretty much to realise tt u've not been as busy as we thought u were. i dunno. it seems like u're pushing us away, like we don't matter anymore. like our frenship doesn't mean anything to you. like you don't want to invest another second of ur precious time into our frenship. we thought we mattered. we thought that even if we werent your best friends, we were good friends at least. it hurts. alot. and it was very very disappointing to discover all this. i guess time will tell. time will tell whether our frenship matters to you. if it doesn't, i'm prepared to let you walk out of my life. it'll hurt alot. but chang tong bu ru duan tong. we have been the ones putting in the effort. you've been the one pushing us away. we did our best. you didn't. maybe your frenship isn't tt precious anymore. and maybe you dun even visit my blog anymore. i give up.

sigh*

2006-05-04T21:22:00.000+08:00

been how moodswingy these days. literally. i can be so high at one moment and suddenly plunge right into depression/moodiness. clement says everyone will become like that sooner or later cos of all the stress and mugging for Alevels. =( booo. i don't want that to happen! school will then become even more unbearable and whatnot. and you'll start drifting frm friends, and ur whole life starts revolving arnd notes, notes and more notes. i'm not going to bring up my children in singapore. i'm dreading those days. don't want them to ever come. we shld haf 3 yrs of jc life, take our As in the 2nd year. and the last yr can be for socialising and attending lessons that teach practical skills, lifeskills, interpersonal relationships, etiquette etc. (:

suddenly i just feel like being antisocial. wanna lock myself up and never have to interact with other pple. except maybe with my parents. actually i've just lost my blogging mood now. or maybe all that i wanna blog abt is too private to say here. *shrugs. concert tmr. hope all goes well (: special thanks to those who are coming! (:

oh wait. study at changi airport this sat anyone? (:

WHAT CRAP WHAT CRAP WHAT CRAP.

2006-04-29T22:02:00.000+08:00

argh. argh. ARGH. ARGH. pissed off! disgusted, disappointed, upset, angry, livid, hopping mad sdlkhwaehgmnkljbhaqoiloioghasd. ARGH. why, why WHY did you lose to chelsea!?!?! 3-0 at that. ARGH. i am pissed off. if u didn't already notice. ARGH.

take the lead! (:

2006-04-27T19:38:00.000+08:00

whee! watched take the lead with rachie ytd. it was nice! haha. loads of cool dance moves and hot actresses! ((: pity though, that none of the actors were hot. even antonio banderas was not at his hottest. and anyway he's oldddddd. but yupp. enjoyed the movie thoroughly! and that marks the what, 5th time i've been to a cinema! haha. you can start applauding noww. haha. mm. of course the main point is i managed to catch up wif rachie! haha. even tho we're both in hwachong, harldy ever talk to her since she's in arts and in the right wing, so hardly ever see her. but yay. i enjoyed talking to her, and it was so funny laughing abt so many things, ~~just like in sec 1&2~~ no, i think we've both changed, but i guess we've changed in tandem so we still can feel close to each other and talkkkkk so much! stupid shuen has syf, so she cldn't come. but i'm looking forward to june! then we can have our annual colours slpover (: love my whitey&yelloww loads!

confused. i dunno whats gg on. ignorance is bliss.

reply to tags!

2006-04-23T20:39:00.000+08:00

haha. sudden flood of tags on tagboard (: shall reply here then:

huiling - haha. nx time come my blog more often? haha. no lah. i also dun update so often le. cos v busy nowadays! i'm sure u're v busy wif atlantis too!

rach - did the adjustments le, but my blogger's still abit screwed. oh wells. thanks! (:

cheegake - HULLO! my dear lab partner, my "brother"! yay! finally i have the link to ur blog (: shall update the links soon! (haha. soon because i'm too lazy now xp) but i read ur blog le. you take care yahhh? sounds really painful, but jiayou kk? *hugs! (oops. realised i was supposed to update mrs soh on ur condition! u mind me doing tt?)

fel - haha. kk i shall go read huiling's tagboard. mm. jus force them to go? cos i think when you're alr qing gong yan-ing then naturally will get high, so just have to get them to go first then things will be naturally fun! hopefully!(:

garbie - BOOOO. u're supposed to be complimenting me u horrible garbie, esp aft my super efficient response to ur sms for help! hmph. lousy lousy lousy garbie. i don't like you now. hmph.

bren - i AM working on my new template lahhhh. but BT is coming up sooooo. haha. OKAY OKAY! i'll remove the midi! (~~it's annoying me too~~) i can't be bothered to find a new one. HAHA. u shld change ur template too! it's like HOWWWW OLD le. HAH.

clem - HAHA. yupyup (: HI138! i want tt pic of yz! then i'll post in on my blog toooo! haha (:

BON APPETIT! (: qing gong yan*

2006-04-16T21:44:00.000+08:00

whee! this is so outdated but who cares. i'm still gonna blog abt our qing gong yan anyway! (: funfunfun! yayness. im glad HI138 can still bitch abt tgt and laugh and laugh and laugh. so we were supposed to go on thurs aft heats. but we were all so super tired. i'm glad we decided to go on fri instead. oh ho. but we were like gonna discuss when to meet and all. and that it was like deja vu all over again! cos:
1) clement sms-ed everyone and said "HI138 please come online at 10:30 p.m. to discuss our grp project proposal..." i almost died when i read tt lah. haha
2) both huiling and yz were asleep at that time! haha. which is what USUALLY happens during actual pw discussions, esp for yz. and clement and i had to sms them, call their phones, call their homes in tt order to get them to wake up!
3) in the end 3 pple just made the decision instead of the whole grp coming to a concensus. haha. what's new?!
haha. what an eventful planning session. brought back such wonderful pw memories. haha.

lala. so on fri at 6 pm we were supposed to meet at heeren entrance. and AS USUAL the guys were late. haha. so huiling and i went to shop arnd heeren first and i bought NICE rubberbands. and of the 4 only 1 is pink! (i'm so on my way to un-pinkify myself. xp) then clement called, but who cares. we continued shopping for a bit more until he called again. HAHA. decided to go fareast in the end cos huiling wanted earstuds and it was too early to eat anw. on the way to fareast huiling and i were embarrassed by some sony ericsson guy =x haha let's not go into details. reached fareast, huiling took quite awhile to find her earstuds (and the constant niao-ing frm yaozhen and clement and the embarrassing stuff they did really did NOT help) but finally we managed to find NICE ones! i like the black square ones (:

finally we went to wheelock's nydc. queued for awhile, and i saw so many pple i knew! yenzhi, annarine (and the whole ny netball j1 team), whole lot of hc j3s, jacq frm senior class etc. we ate ovenbaked rice(for hling), pasta for the rest of us.

yummm. (:

oh but b4 tt, we made yz take funny pics! haha (:

pseudo-cool. haha (:

BEEEEG teddy bear! (:
haha. the food was ok lahhh. as usual clement had SOUP. haha. cream of potato. lala. so basically we were just crapping away. when we finished we started snapping really random shots. haha. so huiling and i were trying to take unglam shots of the guys. and the guys tried to take huiling and i doing bimbotic poses but eh tt obviously didn't work cos well, we're MILES apart frm bimbos! xp ok. next few pics are random shots:

yz's acting sao. haha. but what's new?!

huiling & i! (:

yz TRYING to act shy. keyword: trying.

clement. yaozhen. behaving normally. haha.

trying to act bimbo (1). and obviously failing.

trying to act bimbo (2). and failing again.

finally. REAL bimbos ((:

MUDPIES (: <3<3<3<3<3>
can't resist saying this: sports day heats were goooood (: kudos to the girls esp who ran well! i'm quite proud of myself for being able to run at a reasonable speed (: was quite worried tt i would be like the slowest considering tt i'm prob the most inactive person in the team. hahah. but yayness. i'm pleased (: good run everyone! gogogo apollo! (:

[edit] and finally, here's the most wonderful PW grp ever, HI138, Bon Appetit! <333!

yaozhen.huili.huiling.clement (: LOVE! <3

PUBLICITYYYY! (:

2006-04-09T21:05:00.000+08:00

reply to tags:

fel: it did (:

kegan: haha. you are not making sense! my primary school was a co-ed school u knowww.

yahting: ehh. actually i realised there's not much link. i guess it just made me think of my pri sch and how i used to be so rowdy and tomboyish xp

rachel: ohmygoodness! haha. you totally flooded my tagboard! but yuppp! great memories we had back in pri sch. i dun even rmb some of them! like the climbing over the back gate thing. but do you rmb how we used to climb the rambutan trees at the back of the school and pluck all the rambutans as soon as they were ripe? we looked such a sight, with rumpled not-so-white school uniforms, sticky hands and mouths, and rambutan juice dribbling down our chins! haha. yeah ben wee went to america in pri3. whee! cockroach trick! (: haha. why can't i access ur diaryland blog! did u delete it?

-done.

now for some publicity!

EVERYONE! please come for LINDALE! ((: it's my FIRST time performing onstage! so come come COME! details:
date-5th may, friday
time-7:30 p.m.
place-chinese high drama centre
tickets are going at a REAL CHEAP price of $5 only! that's like the cheapest concert to go for! (: so yeah. come support me&ruowei! haha. and lek chia! (fel: and max! LOL)

worst night i've experienced.

2006-04-03T22:38:00.000+08:00

pastoral visitation just ended. i was highly disturbed. 'nuff said. my thoughts are all jumbled up. everything's so abrupt. i just pray God's will be done. sometimes ignorance is really bliss. i want to be a child again, without a care in the world.

(: it's good you're being so optimistic and taking things in your own stride. i don't know when you'll see this; maybe everything will be settled by then but yupp like i said, fingers crossed. sometimes things don't really seem fair; i can testify and vouch that u really did work hard. but everything really happens for a purpose, and even though the purpose may not be apparent in the near future, someday it'll all be clear. take care ya? and know that you'll always have friends who'll always be there for you.

about best friends. male best friends

2006-04-02T19:20:00.000+08:00

so i spent the whole of friday after school and sat before stj reading cecilia a'hern's "where rainbows end". maybe i should have done my tutorials instead of just reading intensively, cos i enjoyed "ps: i love you" more than this book but oh well. i'm not the type who can put down a book halfway through reading it; i must read the entire book in one sitting, so i read all 566 pages almost all at one go. that explains why i slept at 2:30 on fri. haha. so anyway, it was all abt 2 best friends. one guy one girl. and it details how they both actually liked each other but didn't want to risk ruining their really strong friendship of a gazillion years by confessing their feelings to each other. cliche. but there were quite a number of sub-plots very intricately twisted into the main plot, so it made the story much more readable and perhaps even enjoyable. it was also actually quite scary reading the book because it basically sums up the 1st 50 years of rosie's (the protangonist) life, and it all just passed so quickly; one flip of the page and she's like one year older (ok, so maybe not THAT exaggerated but still). and you stop and think, and realise (with a start) that hey! your life really passes that quickly too. are you spending everyday meaningfully, living for others around you and not just for yourself?

so on to the main plot abt that whole bestfriend-lovers kind of thing. it actually got me thinking cos well, i remember how in primary school (esp so in lower primary) my best friends were guys (believe it or not i was a REAL tomboy last time) . i rmb being SUPER close to ben ng in pri 1-3. we would like go to each other's houses all the time. oh and how could i forget playing power rangers with him and some other guys in school! i was always the pink ranger. how annoying. oh and the science field trips we used to go on and we would like always sit at the last row of seats in the bus and talk and laugh. haha. i still have his super funny autograph. but then his dad passed away and he changed school. and when you're in pri 3 you don't really keep in contact so. then it became ben wee in upper primary. (of course i had close galfrens too, but that's not the point here. haha) hahah. we were SOOOOO mischievous! cos our families were quite close and his mom was a eng tuition tchr and my mom is a math&science tuition tchr. so i wld go to his house for english tuition and he would come to mine for math&science. oh and it didn't help tt we had chinese tuition together too. HAHA. so we were FOREVER playing tricks on our chinese tuition tchr. like holding BOTH the lifts at his eighth floor house so she would have to climb the stairs all the way up. and crawling out of the house and hiding during tuition while she was marking our work and then calling the house so the phone would ring and the tchr would panic and wonder where we were cos someone has to pick up the phone. HAHA. and of course the cockroach chewing gum thing and soooo many many other things. and always asking so many qns and giving her a nightmare. which explains why we had a different chinese tutor every year frm p4-p6. HAHAHA. oh man. and how i used to tease him endlessly abt michelle and he would tease me endlessly abt.. WELL. haha. that's not impt. but the point is. aft p6 then we went to different sec schs and then we became of that age where u know it's weird to have a best friend for a guy. so he didn't rly talk to me when i went to his house and vice versa. so that's how we stopped being friends. and now he's in australia that lucky pig. but i guess my whole point is that really, like what the book says: "it's wrong to not invite your best friend to your birthday party. even if it's a guy" as in i don't really mean the part abt the bdae party literally, but you get what i mean. i miss my best friends in primary school. EVEN though they are guys.

angstyangstyangsty

2006-03-30T20:33:00.000+08:00

bahbadbadbadmoodidunevenknowwadsggonwhyrupissedatmeruevenpissedidunnomoodswingsstupidhormoneswadsggonwhyrthingsthiswayitrynottocarebutifindmyselfcaringitrynottobotherbutifindmyselfworryingiwishilearntgermanproperlysotticanjustypeallthisingermanandnothaftoworryabtanyonebutmaybejemawhorlycaresunderstandingseemslikenoonecaresanymoreandwhydoimissusobadlywhycantijustletgowhyhasntsevenyrsdoneanythingtochangeanythingtostopthetearsfrmfallingsofreelytostopthepainfrmhurtingsobadlytostopthemissingttcomessoofteneverytimeiseeurnameurpicthinkofurfaceimissusobadlysososobadlyiwonderifuevenfeelthesamewayiwonderifustillrmbmeisoundsopatheticbutdunyougetitthemissingneverstopsthepaindoesntgoawayipraytticantrusttheLordiprayttHe'llhelpmetoseeHishandinallthisiprayforHimtoshowmeHiswillformebutthereseemstobenoanswermaybeimjustnotprayinghardenuffbutireallywishihadananswerireallywantananswersofarawaysounattainableonlyGodknowsHiswayisperfectsohelpmetojusttrustLordtojustTRUSTandifitbeYourwillttishldntseehimagainshldntmeethimagainsohelpmeLordtoacceptYourwillandtostillloveuwifallmyheartsoulmindandstrength.

blahblahblah

2006-03-27T18:36:00.000+08:00

RANDOMNESS.

as of now i'm so tired. V for Vendetta is quite cool. i think all it says abt politics is quite true. but i still don't get why it's NC16. oh well. i closed my eyes for the violent scenes anyway. i just can't take violent scenes.

finally got my mini GOLD clutch! (: was more ex than i expected, but oh well. i've been thinking abt getting it for weeks, since i saw it at livia's boutique the last time i was at fareast shopping for angel-mortal presents. (see bren? im not spendthrift! i actually thought abt buying that for more than a month before i went to get it! (: ) kailing and huiling said it'll be hard to match clothes, but i don't careeeee. i like it. haha.

i wanna watch chick flicks!! i just wanna hole up somewhere and go on a dvd marathon. list of shows i wanna watch (some may be like how outdated, but i still want to watch!): bring it on1&2. in her shoes. white chicks. monster-in-law. big momma's house 1&2. daddy day-care. the pacifier. yours, mine and ours. the perfect launch. miss congeniality 2. and the list goes on and on and on. what brainless movies. but isn't that the whole point of entertainment? to relax? mm. i don't really like to watch movies to think, unless i suddenly get into this lit mood. which is getting rarer nowadays cos at least i had my dearest lit-crazy abi and germ last time to psyche me into loving lit.

i want esprit pants ESPRIT PANTS ESPRIT PANTS! but they're so ex! howwww. i want so much more stuff! like new heels frm charles&keith for dorcas' wedding, half-body cardigan also for the wedding, proper jeans! shades! perfume (my body shop one is running out!), that belt frm bugis, zara/mango basic tops. oh man. i sound so materialistic. save up save up save up.

can't wait for end of A levels. i wanna go on holiiiidayyyyyyy! (: so many many trips lined up. i hope i can go for all of them. i better start thinking of quick ways to earn money cos daddy's definitely not gonna pay for me anymore :(

denial isn't working. whyyyyy.

-end of randomness. haha.

house(:

2006-03-16T18:37:00.000+08:00

so i did the draw a house thing tt yahting posted on the class blog. haha. here are my results. you can see my drawing by going here: http://drawahouse.com/houses/show.asp?houseID=297706&houseHash=34ab9cd2c2f3497bff6be13336929b59

and this is my analysis:

Based on your drawing and the 10 answers you gave this is a summary of your personality:Your house tells the world that you ought to be a leader. You are a freedom lover and a strong person. You love your house and family. You are a gifted artist as well. Once you have a problem, you need a friend with you. (very true) Your life is always full of changes. You are very tidy person. There's nothing wrong with that because you're pretty popular among friends. When it comes to love, you shut yourself off. It's difficult to win your heart because you have decided to keep your feelings deep inside. You have a strong personality and you like to command, influence and control people. You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. We also see that you are sensuous, sexual, and privately passionate. You don't think much about yourself.

haha. don't rly agree abt the difficult to win my heart part though. and the "sensous, sexual and privately passionate" part? quite amusing. haha.

.

2006-03-14T11:17:00.000+08:00

WHEEE! i passed my piano exam! and it's not like i JUST passed or something. oh man my results totally surpassed my expectations, thank You LORD! ((: so i was in a sort of HIGH yesterday aft getting my results in the mail. 'nuff said here. i shall move my lazy butt and start mugging. i'm wayyyyyy behind time, i don't think i can finish studying. crap. this sucks.

close shave! (:

2006-03-06T21:08:00.000+08:00

oh man. chem s was freaking scary today. good thing i decided to go man! or rather, good thing mummy didn't allow me to pon. haha. so it's like we were happily strolling to chem s, thinking: yay! no more rudy lee. THEN. we walked in and.. erps. we saw mr loy and guess who? yeah. ppc. sian. yeah. then sit down, ppc make announcement (gd thing he was making announcements only!) then aft abt 15 mins the lt still so empty lah. then he was like.. why are there so few ppl today. THEN he started randomly calling classes and ask them to put up hands up so he could like count and see if the nos tally. then call a few. woah. all the classes so guai. then suddenly "75" then 6 of us were like.. oh shit. then erms. lag abit. then "75" again. so we put up. then "why are there less than half the pple here today?!" so we were like erms. the ppc was like o.O gahhhh. sorry but it was really heard to cover for so many pple! yah. so he said u'll must complete today's qns and hand them in and also do the assignment qns. yeah. hand in friday aft blocks. oh and don't copy the model ans cos he's got them. yahhh.

man. today was really traumatizing. i think i won't pon any chem s lecture again. :s

off to pia tutorials now.

blehhh.

2006-03-04T23:26:00.000+08:00

moodswinging. rarrrh. i hate these feelings that overwhelm me sometimes =(

updating (:

2006-03-02T18:29:00.000+08:00

haha. shall update finally. jus wanna say thanks everyone. i'm ok now. and yeah huiling, it helped me realise who my true friends are (: special thanks to darlinggg jema CAKE! for the uber long email. argh girl i wish i didn't quit german then i'd be able to like type something in german here and not have to worry abt anyone understanding it (: but anw thank u so much girl. i love you loads LOADS LOADS! oh and i'll TRY to reply asap, maybe after blocks. bahhh. but i can't go for ckks mtg and church camp so i won't be seeing you in like how long! =( date me girl! oh yes and to those who encouraged me after the stupid talk on fri, thank you (: you know who you are.

oooh. hnf has been getting really interesting, must really commend the exco for jobs well done! i think this yr's hnf activities are so much more enriching and varied, the lucky j1s! aerobics with ms soh has been cool, and woohoo! i totally loved the dance session! even though the dance is like how provocative but ms soh can do it super well! i'm impressed (: oh and hnf week is gonna be FUNKY! please go participate actively (: and i must start practising my harmoc at home and stop slacking. concert in 2 months! argh.

i think this year's been really great so far excluding the few minor down pts that i've had. the class has been really funky cos of all our random activities!(whee! speak chinese day!) kudos to kailing for being a FANTASTIC WELFARE REP! i'm actually pretty hyped up abt the whole class cip thing (: i must start contributing back to community. yes. and this year i've also gotten closer to some classmates (: and also remade contact with old friends, penpals (: yay. i hope the year continues on this sort of high. that'll at least make mugging more bearable.

while researching and reading up on my options for career, scholarship, courses to take and unis to go, i discovered something abt myself. and got quite disgusted at myself. how could i have thought that way, acted that way?! i shall change. and never let such disgusting traits creep into my nature again.

release of a lvl results pushed my panic button. released i'm quite screwed up in my studies. esp my bio. time to do something abt it! argh.

oh but finally a new season of amazing race starts! (: whee. excited. i've got a date tonight with the tv (:

sorry for the super disjointed post. i don't really think very coherently nowadays anyway.

pro rege. for the King. so help me Lord to live this out.

(:

2006-02-21T20:54:00.000+08:00

was feeling moody last night. felt stupid, depressed, at a loss. but thank you and you for listening. i shall take your advice and shall attempt to blog abt it.

sometimes these things just hit u by surprise. u think life's going all peachy for u when sth happens n u realise it's not. then u realise tt u wanna tell someone, look arnd, and realise there's no one. maybe it's cos u're afraid of bein hurt again. afraid tt u'll just end up embarrassed, looking stupid and being laughed at. so u don't say anything. u keep it all to urself. and pray someone cares enuff to realise sth's amiss and ask what's wrong. but when tt doesn't happen.. u just feel depressed n start the whole self-doubt thing. and tt leads to a vicious cycle. u wanna get out of that cycle, but u can't. it's trapped u. but somehow life still has to move on. and u just try to pick urself up, and move on wif a smile. but the hurt's still there. buried. waiting to resurface one day when more and more hurt gets piled on top until the pressure's too great and everything erupts. i hope tt day will never come.

blah. it's ok if u don't understand all this. i just wanted to get it out of my system. no one was supposed to understand this. so just ignore this entry. and go do my johari window for me! haha.

hey. i don't really feel better yet. but maybe i will after awhile. meanwhile, thx (: oh and today was a better day (:

gogogogo!

2006-02-19T21:18:00.001+08:00

everyone! haha. pls go do visit these 2 websites for me and go do!! ((: thankew v much! it's not virus so don't worry! here they are:

http://kevan.org/johari?name=huilipok^3!

and

http://kevan.org/nohari?name=huilipok^3!

thankyou!
eh pls include the exclamation mark. dunno why this screwed blogger dun wanna make the qn mark blue and highlighted.. it's part of the html link! thankyou thank you thankyou! (:

gogogogo!

2006-02-19T21:18:00.000+08:00

flushflushflush.

2006-02-18T00:53:00.000+08:00

want to flush dwn the prev post. so yupp. past week has been v eventful, what with vday, xcountry, piano exam, spa (haha.), dramafeste. (: but now it's time to settle down again and start mugging. just thinking tt blocks is like in abt a mth's time is scary! =( i'm so not prepared. helpppp. anyway.

vday: heyy thx for the love, everyone! this yr's vday was fun! frm shopping for presents (ok, so tt wasn't really fun but oh wells) to coming up wif the shoelaces thingy and actually doing it! oh and i enjoyed writing all the msges to the class too! i took like 4 hrs to finish all the msges lah! and like i used up all the ink of a NEW pen so had to like rush to popular to get a new one so that i cld finish the msges. hahaha. (: touched? lols. yupp. anw, i like the presents i got! and i was quite surprised and touched to recieve stitch's present! (: so yah. thank you: chrissia! jamie! stitch dear! class guys! bren! minnie! meix! jaey! fel! huiling! huiyi! yahting! awyong! pok! and of course darlings kailing, karin and ruowei for doing the shoelaces together! yupp. thank you all for the cookies, chocs, sweets, pencilbox, cap, pillow, cards(: appreciate them! and i love jema dear, dorcas n clauds for the smses! (: lunch at swensen's was good too!

piano exam: disappointed with myself. dunno why i fumbled also, esp in my scales :( ahh. just pray i'll pass this time round! and i'm also thankful for pple who cared to encourage me and ask abt it (: hee. thank you karin, kailing, ruowei, fel, yahting, awyong, huiling, huiyi, justine, clement, bren, yingteng for caring!

x-country: am very proud of myself! haha. after having not exercised for 2 whole weeks, i actually managed to like run for the most part of the race and come in with a commendable position! (: hehs. and i dunno why but after xcountry i'm like inspired to exercise more regularly! and i think exercising makes u feel good! so i shall stop being a couch potato (grr. my parents keep calling me tt!) and start exercising! and so yay i'm quite happy that i've exercised qt a lot this week: xcountry on wed, bball during pe on thurs, aerobics on fri! (: wheee~ karin! quick go formulate ur exercise plan then we can go exercise together! haha.

dramafeste: i just wanna say that even though we didn't like bag almost all the titles (like we did last year), i think APOLLO STILL RAWKS! (: so yeah! and we will so win the faculty shield at the end of the year. juniors, jiayou! haha. yupp but seriously, ares play was goooood. great script man. acting was not bad too! but the whole dramafeste this year was so super sick lah. grossed out. bleh. hehhss. but dfeste was overall rather fun! wheee~

jts tmr at marche! yayness! (:

shopping!

2006-02-12T18:46:00.000+08:00

ahhh. i know i said i won't blog. but thanks to yifang aka stitch, here i am. grrrr. ok. so here goes:

The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover. Need to mention the sex of the target. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their page saying they've been tagged. If tagged the 2nd time, theres no need to post again.

target: male

1. must be a christian! cos the bible tells us not to be unequally yoked. yeah. and i think it's v hard for pple of diff religions to live together anyway. so yupp. i know this may sound really absurd to some of you lah. but ever since dunno when, this quality (ie: being a christian) has always been on my list for my perfect prince! so yupp. ((:

2. must be able to make me laugh! i think tt's really impt cos when i'm down i want someone who can like make my happy again by making me laugh. and i also can't stand pple who are too dull and dun have any sense of humour. but basically, i think laughter's quite essential in a relationship? yupp. so yeah.

3. must be able to communciate with me. hahaha. yah. kinda means he has to be my soulmate/bestfriend kinda thing. then can have intelligent talks sometime! but most imptly it's cos i must be able to share everything with him. it's gonna be hard and weird keeping secrets frm someone u see like.. almost 24/7? yupp.

4. must be loyal! i can't stand unfaithfulness! goodness. yupp. but that doesn't mean sticking to each other 24/7 cos that gets abit too much! and i think i'll get sick of him if we do tt! so yeah. cannot be too sticky but cannot stray either! ((:

5. must be sweet! hahaha. must surprise me wif stuff like chocs, flowers and stuffed toys! and must rmb my bdate and special days! (hahaha. i think my close frens know which stuffed toy i want! yay. you'll can help me tell my bf nxt time. lols.) i guess i'm quite a romantic at heart. ((: yeah. so i prob won't like someone like mrs. lim's husband. ahhaa. it just isn't my type.

6. must like kids and must be willing to share the housework. hahaha. i think this is like 2 combined into one but.. who cares?! yupp. this one's quite self-explanatory.

7. must be taller and older than me! haha. but i think this criteria abit easy to satisfy lah since i'm so short. but yupp. i don't go for younger guys! not even those who are like.. 1 day younger. HAHA. sounds silly but i'll still feel weird if the guy was one day younger. but maybe that will change next time? i dunno. oh well.

8. must love to travel! yayyy. then we can get married abit early then have kids late! then can go travel the world! ((: of cos, it'll be good if he was rich so we can travel in style. LOL.

yahhh. the above sums up my perfect one! i think it's quite attainable leh. i don't know lah. actually the list can go on and on and on. like cannot smoke, drink (except for socialising), do drugs (DUH!) blah blah. oh and it'll really be perfect if he were angmoh! hahhahaha. sorry, but i tend to be biased 2wards ang mohs. have had a v v v good impression of them since... pri 5. ((: hahaha. u prob won't utd lah unless u're one of the few i've told. yupp. anyways. i tag: yahting, huiling, fel, brendan (who prob won't do it till like dunno hw long later cos of his stupid comp tt crashed), ameliakoh, zhunian, isabel, chrisseah! (haha.)

anyway, ytd shopping for vdae pressies was tiring. and i got scolded for coming home so late. shopped frm 12 to 7. oh mannn. yupp glad i settled all the pressies (incl clauds' bdae pressie which is like how belated).. so its like i met kl at fareast, then we immediately went to ps and got her mortal's pressie (or half of it), then ate long john's silver and went to taka. bought clauds present and a top for miself, met bren (sam was supposed to come too! but he was like hw late!), and we went to spy on karin! but she was left mos' le! =( hahaha. then went to paragon's aussino to look for bren's angel's pressie. yes, aussino. hahaha. then went heeren, met clement. then got angel's pressie. decided to share wif meix. yeah tried to find mortal's pressie but cldn't. then met meix and sam then off we went to heeren, stopping by aussino again to really buy the pressie this time round (cos biqing's sam's mortal and bren wanted sam's opinion). meix bought mortal's pressie. at far east, FINALLY manage to get mortal's pressie. and kl managed to get her angel's pressie at last. yupp then went home cos mummy was nagging alr. was dead tired. falling aslp when i practised piano.

hahaha. ok. nw haf to finish the class vday pressies. tiredddd.
p/s: kegna! this is in YELLOW! ((:

taiwan photos! ((:

2006-02-10T19:59:00.000+08:00

weets! taiwan photos finally uploaded (: only the TOOOOOT shutterfly only allow me to share 250 photos! and i had 363! boooo. so yeah. selected the pics to share lah. ((: have fun viewing my wonderful memories as part of TIP '05! leave comments on my tagboard please! oh yah. go view here: http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=2Acs2LJu4cMXGg&notag=1

toodles!

p.s: won't be blogging in a while. my hiatus has returned. till next time! (:
p.s.s: cos this will be my final post in a looooong while, it'll be in... PINK! haha.

moving on.

2006-02-01T22:54:00.000+08:00

i think unknowingly, unwittingly, i've moved on. but suddenly i feel lost. because all i did, my "perfect plan", my dreams, are all revolved around you. and now, i don't know what to do. i know i should feel proud of myself, but i feel too at a loss to feel anything else.

chinese new year 06.

2006-01-30T23:26:00.000+08:00

cny eve:
basically i slacked the whole day away (what happened to my plan to start mugging! argh.) then at abt 6 plus xiao jiu and xiao gu came to pick us up to go 2 zi pat's house. this yr didn't have steamboat!! cos zi pat's wife wanted to cook. yeahhh =(. but ohwells. she cooked really good food! there were prawns (i ate like abt 4? lol. cld have eaten more but was too lazy 2 peel. heh.), mutton (which was REALLY good), chicken, veg, pigstomach's soup! (ahhh. my fav! and there was so much pepper! just how i like it((: ), and really spicy fried rice! (which i also found totally delicious lah!) yuppp. so i ate until i almost exploded. and then we lao-ed yusheng. but didn't eat much of it lah. but i ate the raw fish! ((: yummm. lol. after gg to taiwan i have developed a liking for raw fish! ((: and i drank this 6% alcohol wine! which was so YUMMY! it was a bit sweet. just nice. and i cldn't believe i was actually enjoying wine! like.. that's a first! yupp. and cos it was xiao jiu's bdae, so we had icecream cake! frm swensens! ((: yummy! and we watched this super lame chinese shw, then watched a bit of mr bean (haha. we watch this vcd every yr at reunion dinner) oh and i was so happy when i heard zi pat and his wife have become christians! yay! praise the Lord! this news was enuff to keep me happy the whole cny! indeed God works in wonderful ways! ((:

cny day 1:
didn't feel like cny to me lah. cos i went to church until abt 4. then went to xiao gu's house aft tt where all daddy's side was. don't like these times of cny, cos i don't rly tok to my daddy's sisters' children. i only like my cousins tt come for reunion dinner! (ie: my daddy's brothers' children) yeah. so was feelin quite sian. then went to my fav cousin's(!) room and read this book on his table. then finally he came back wif his parents and gf! haha. yayyy. happy to see them again! ((: and i like his gf so yupp. had seafood pasta for dinner! (it was some weird crazy notion of my xiao gu and my cousin to NOT have any chinese food this cny. LOL.) and garlic bread and salad and german sausages! ((: YUMMM. i totally LOVED the food! and i drank so many different types of wine today! 6%, 12%, 16%, even a 30% alcohol one! hahaah. i still like the 6% one the BEST. oh and the sparkling juice got abandoned lah cos we all started drinking the wine. LOLS. so for the first time, my cousin was begging us to finish up the sparkling juice so she cld throw the bottle away. normally it just gets gobbled up real quick. heh.

cny day 2:
went to maternal grandma's house. and ooooh. phyllidia is soooooo CUTE! (yes, that's her name, phyllidia. her sis is phyllis and her bro is philbert. now you know why she has such a name. LOL) she's like such a charming and super friendly toddler! ahhh. i love this cousin of mine! hehh. and her lil red cheena boots were sooooo cute! hhaha. yupp. actually nothing eventful today. just visited maternal grandma, then we all went to some uncle's house. yeahhh. then went home. and i slept. AGAIN. hahaha. what a peeeg. lol. (but SOMEONE'S more of a PIG. haha) yeahhh. so i practised the piano (sian. ) and watched tv. yeah. that's abt it. heh.

oh, daddy showed me this http://ecards.worshiptogether.com/soldierStory/player.html>website which i found super touching and meaninful. it made me tear. indeed, God is sovereign over all, and in God alone do i trust. IN CHRIST ALONE. i especially liked this verse :
No guilt in life, no fear in death

This is the power of Christ in me

From life's first cry to final breath

Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man

Can ever pluck me from His hand

Till He returns or calls me home

Here in the power of Christ i stand!

meaningful. my favourite song now. ((:

INSPIRATION! ((:

2006-01-24T23:19:00.000+08:00

haha. sudden inspiration to blog! actually, just wanted to shout out!

I LOVE MY COUSIN!! ((: am talking to him on msn now and i miss him sooooo much! it's times like this when i really wish i had an older brother. and i rmb i told him that, and he was like "you don't need one cos you've got me!" ((: yay. i'm so glad he's my dad's brother's son so i get to see him at reunion dinner too! ((: oh crap. so many smileys. hahaha. but i really love my cousin!

i like my angel! i think he's very funny! and his drawings are cute! haha.. yay! i'm glad i got a nice nice angel ((:

-end of inspired post. lols.

bye. for now.

2006-01-20T23:19:00.000+08:00

i think sometime, somehow, i've just lost the desire to blog. or maybe what i want to blog about just isn't bloggable. ah whatever. will be back after my hiatus. if it ever ends.

LET'S JAM! O1 2006

2006-01-14T22:05:00.000+08:00

yesterday's orientation was fun!! ((: ahhh. i think it's more fun than last year's. hm but more on that later. errr. post results of this quiz first. lol.

Kindness

Kindness is most important in a boyfriend/girlfriend. You want someone who will go through everything with you - the best moments and the worst, and all of those other moments in between. You love to be able to say anything to your partner, and have them say anything to you. You are able to be extremely close with your partner for that reason.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

hahah. yupp. my husband must be my best friend! ((: hmm. i can still rmb how michelle and zhunian said that i was weird when i told them in sec 4 that my husband must be my best friend. hahahaha. they said it's weird living with you best friend. but i don't care. he must be my best friend, if not i think it's even weirder. like you go and tell someone else all your secrets and not your husband? way too weird. anyway, back to orientation.

yesterday all the lessons were like how crappy lah. maths lecture, went to the wrong place! next time must go to the lt leh. the audi has really BAD lecturers! then write essay during gp, uber SIAN. then bio lect *sigh. phys tut was better cos mr lee let us off early ((: then ct was ok lah. then.. finally got to see the juniors present their flags and their items! woohoo! juniors RAWK! i totally love their flag and item, esp the stomp part. though it was a bit screwed on the actual day, but it was still super creative and NICE! which just reminded all us seniors how crappy our item was last year. lol. even though juniors didn't represent apollo in the end, but nvm. it was still a super GOOD JOB! ((: ohoh. and celest, aaron and shiyan came to crash hc to watch justin's class item. LOL. so i went over to lt3 to look for them. and then, i saw 06s74's item!! oh my goodness! they did this series of television shows and advertisements thing, and the last show the WHOLE CLASS danced mo4 li4 hua1!! oh MAN. chen lili should have been there watching them!! celest and i were like screaming and screaming! hahahha. eventually 06s74 represented ares, but didn't win lah. but STILL. oh my goodness. anw, justin was really uber cute doing his screwed up wildwildwest! LOL. so embarrassing.

ok. then campfire started. but before that, rw kl and i went to the goodnews cafe at the fishtank and i drank the mocha breeze (lol. what a corny name) i tell you the pple there are so super inefficient!! i think i like waited for half an hour just to get my drink even though there were only like 3 pple queueing in front of me. GOODNESS. sigh. anyway, camfire started, so at first we were like all watching frm the 3rd storey. oh and senior class pple came also! ((: yay! saw huishan again! my dearest angel. hahahah ((: yeah then saw them performing all the items. and apollo won best FLAG! lol. and we're in the lead for the faculty scoring system! juniors, must do us proud at cny dance competition and also at dramafeste!! ((: apollo must win best fac!

ok. then was quite high. screaming and shouting and whatever. then our very own campus superstar sang 2 songs! he's really quite GOOD! i was impressed! lol. then we were like jumping arnd. so HIGH. lol. then song and dance session! yay! went to find my dearest tippers! wooohooo. chuan was super HIGH lah. he kept purposely singing off tune and jumping arnd! lalala. then yifang joanne and i were screaming and jumping arnd too! oh and crazy alex suggested chionging to the bridge to dance wild wild west! lalalla! but we decided to keep our hidden talents, well, hidden. LOL. hahahah. dancing with tippers was SUPER fun! brought back so much memories of taiwan, was like both happy and sad. then when we sang ye shi shen qing, i was like gg to cry, cos we sang that at the airport when we sent the taiwanese off. =( aiyar. sad. but i'm so glad for hc tippers! and thank goodness tiff rushed back in time! she was outside eating when song and dance session started! THANKYOU joanne, yifang, tiff, yiyun, chuan (my dance partner ytd nite), kennie, ian, yoke, alex, darren for the super wonderful time ytd! *hugs! then aft that i joined the class again and we did this train thingy round the central plaza! and aft that we were like screaming and screaming. and terry can really SHRIEK! LOL.

oh and melvin came back ytd! with his FUNKY red specs! i was super glad to see him! ((: but he's still as.. err. small as ever! oops. heh. but yes, after that, we went to bouganvillea park to interact more with the juniors. but too bad i had to leave early. mummy wasn't v happy. but quite fun, esp playing the "XXX sucks!" game and hearing all the juniors talk abt their most memorable moments! hahah. wahtoon's and lekchia's one was ((: ahhh. but suddenly at the park i felt so sad. it's like, less than a year of jc life left. and i finally realised what pple meant when they said jc years are the BEST times of your life. i suddenly didn't want to grow up. i wanted to remain in jc forever, even j2 though it's gonna be a sucky year. *sigh.

was supposed to go out with kailing dear to get pok's present today, but i felt too tired last night. hahahah. have to get it next week then. but why must so many pple have their bdaes in jan! doracs', claudia's, lyd's, pok's! so many presents to get! i'm gonna be broke. oh, and kailing's a MEAN GIRL. booo. hmph i will get it myself sooner or later.

can't wait to go out with wayening on tues! ((:

random quiz ((: heh.

2006-01-12T22:43:00.000+08:00

The Picto-Personality Test

You are a person who lives in the moment and is passionate about whatever and whoever you love.

When alone, you appreciate being able to do nothing if you want to, and setting your own pace for things.

You are adventurous, always up to do the most extreme things. You have a certain recklessness that makes people very attracted to you.

In the future you will have a good family life and lots of friends.

Take thie Test at QuizGalaxy.com

haha. i think it's quite accurate! ((: anyway, i like my angel! at least he wrote to me! LOL. i've got nothing interesting to blog about now, so.. yupp.

first 5 days of school.

2006-01-10T00:01:00.000+08:00

felt like blogging. but don't know what to blog about. angel-mortal game has started. but quite sian diao. not as enthu as in j1. sigh* but oh wells. must be enthu for sake of juniors. oh and juniors are really quite nice! and hahaha. let's not compare junior class guys and our class guys anymore. AHEM. hahahaha. first five days of school have been fun! i like our teachers this year. ((: they're full of humour and wit! whee! thank God for great teachers, esp in j2 year! indeed, God is good, all the time.

oooh. ck's gonna go shopping at chinatown together aft workshop the following sat. hahahah. so kewl. i never expected SHOPPING of all things to be an official activity! lol. i was quite amused when mei told me, i was sure i heard wrongly. but what's the point lah. mummy isn't allowing me to get new year clothes cos she says i've bought too many clothes this past year. but it's only 6 articles of clothing lah! not alot what. but she says i'm not even working, why do i need so many clothes for. =( booo. i hope she changes her mind (highly unlikely though)

finally decided to lock my blog. then realised that i can't do it cos i'm using blogspot! so annoying. i'll switch to diary-x soon. when i feel like it. i'm getting sick of my layout anyway.

it's when you reflect and look back that you cringe at your own foolishness, the so inappropriate things that you have done or said last time. but then you know that if you hadn't embarrassed yourself then, you wouldn't have grown up. you would never have learnt. maybe those incidents though embarrassing, are not that bad after all.

lol. obviously i was reflecting a little and thinking of my sec 1/2 times. *groan. can't believe i did so many stupid things. so embarrassing. but i think really the only people or rather, person that rmbers you doing those things is you yourself lah. hahaha. unless it was really that bad. so yeah. doing stupid things is part of growing up, just learn frm them and get over it i guess. hah. don't even know what i'm talking about lah. so incoherent.

and maybe, i'm finally learning to let go. finally accepting that it's really quite impossible. finally realising that the miles between us are quite insurmountable. finally letting go. perhaps, i'm taking those tiny baby steps towards forgetting. but must it really end this way?

a new year.

2006-01-04T22:56:00.000+08:00

not a good start to a new year, esp in terms of schoolwork. felt so screwed up on mon night, thinking about how i've not made proper use of the hols to catch up like i resolved to. argh. and all the unfinished homework, all the undone tutorials... screwed. i shall become a mugger this year. i told mummy to forbid me from going out this whole week so i can start mugging, and get into a momentum. once the momentum comes, things should be fine. i will just keep up the momentum naturally. MUGGG. sigh* hoho. but thank you darren and ian for studying with me on mon. and for coming down all the way to kap from pasir ris and tampines respectively just to study with me ((: yay! we accomplished much! we did half of HAPPY! ((: and i laughed so hard i almost died. thank you! and thank you both for telling me so much((:

and darling rachie, i love the white minnie you gave me! hm. i dunno how to describe it, but it's all white, gives a snowy kind of feeling! pretty pretty! and from tokyo disneyland! it must have cost a lot! thanks girl, not just for the present, but for all the thought behind the present, and for the donkey years of friendship. iloveyou.

actually, i have loads of things to talk about. but this blog is too public to write all that down. maybe i should lock my blog. i'll think about doing that.

can you'll please stop bugging my parents and i about why i'm not making confession of faith? if i said i'm not ready, it means i'm not. no need to question further. it's between me and God. i understand your concern and appreciate it, but i just wish you'll could respect my decision and respect the fact that i do not really owe you'll an explanation.

s
h
a
tt
e
r
e
d.
my hope's vanishing.

details.

2005-12-28T23:00:00.001+08:00

i guess i should go into more detail about my taiwan trip, but like yifang said, it's really hard to put 18 days worth of precious memories into words, much less into one blog entry. memories: some bad, most good. i shall choose to dwell on the happy ones, and try to forget the sad ones. let them be a lesson learnt. what does not kill you only makes you stronger. so here goes.

the days with song shan people were fun when we had lessons together as singaporeans. i loved hanging out with fellow singaporeans frm other jcs! made new friends like isabel, karen, pamela, yimin, charity, lemuel, wang zi, xiuming, steph and many others! and also got to know darren, ziyang and huifang better! ((: the singing lesson was really funny... lemuel and yimin got special item (tong hua) together! hahahaha (oh no, they'd better not find my blog, if not they'll kill me!) but we learnt how to sing wang4 chun1 feng1 in min3 nan2 yu3. so cool! and i like the lanterns we made too! and going to jiu3 fen4 was super fun!! nice scenery, and we met the world's only ashpalt painter! i love his paintings, they are really uber cool! ahhhh. i also enjoyed it when the few of us went to yang2 ming2 shan1 together! FUN FUN!

the last 5 days were spent with my dearest hwachong tippers. i have to say that was the HIGHEST point of the whole trip. i think it was during those 5 days that all the friendships that we had built over the numerous dance practices were CEMENTED. i learnt so much more about so many of you. i got really close to people i were not as close to in singapore (like.. hahahha. ian. and darren. and ziyang. and tiffany. and yifang.) i saw the side of many that i never saw in singapore. and all the nights in the hotels, eating pao mian (it's pao mian now, not bei bei mian!), sitting on the bed and just talking and talking and talking, having pillow fights, pooling, and of course, "ab-ing sessions" (ie: laughing so hard, so much till we got abs). AHHHHH. i really miss those nights now. =( but nevertheless, i'm glad i have such beautiful memories, and i'm proud to say that i think HWACHONG was the most UNITED school in TIP! ((: *huge beam* i love all 16 of you to bits!

sigh. thinking back on everything makes me feel sad yet happy. photos up soon, hopefully. and i don't even want to think about homework now.

why can't we turn time back to 7th dec all over again. and make time stop then.

back.

2005-12-25T17:49:00.000+08:00

post-taiwan blues. the whole 18 days were fun! (even though on a few days i felt miserable at times, but on the whole, it was really enjoyable, i wanna relive it all over again.) last few days with HC tippers were a BLAST. i totally loved the times. i'm really glad i got to know so many pple better, esp HC tippers. having shared a room with joanne, yifang (darling stitch!), tiff and huifang, i've know them so much better.. i love you girls so much! and having had super vain ziyang and super annoying darren in songshan, i've come to know them better! (and erhem. their secrets too. HAH.) and hoho. i've seen the side of ian not many pple have. that guy is seriously CHILDISH! i'll miss all the memories. and even though i miss the taiwanese (to a certain extent), i'll miss the singaporeans more, and the hwachongians the most.

*hugs to joanne, yifang, tiff, michelle, celeste, sab, yiyun, huifang, ziyang, darren, kennie, ian, liangcheng, chuan, yoke, alex. hwachong tippers RAWK! let's wear our polo tee to some school function yah?

i don't forsee myself blogging abt the whole experience, 18days is too long a period of time. just go view my pics or the completed hc tip pic album which hopefully will be up soon.

i miss taiwan. shopping. the friendships. the songshan people. the hwachong tippers. ((:

*reminiscing.

p/s: presents for 05s75, HI 138, poks, brendan, amy, clauds, dorcas, z.chan, isabel, iva.

taiwan, here i come!

2005-12-06T12:41:00.000+08:00

because i don't forsee myself coming online anymore today (due to all the last minute packing i have to do and also cos i have to sleep early to be able to wake up at 6 am)...

TAIWAN HERE I COME!!!

updates when i come back (hopefully), or maybe i'll try to update there! i'm so excited! see you'll on christmas eve!

oh and in case any of you kind sweet nice people want to send me off, my flight details are:
flight no: SQ 876
departing at: 1115 hrs (i'll be at the airport at 0815 hrs though, and will prob go in at abt 9 plus 10 only)
terminal 2

yupps. tata!

depressingly seventeen.

2005-12-02T00:05:00.000+08:00

realised i left out some pple in my previous post. so here goes.

on my actual bdae:
thanks also to emilia who wished me personally! thank you uncle cheng kwee, aunty karen, vania and john for the lovely watch and the greetings! thank you meis for the skirt and the greetings and hugs! thank you mummy and daddy for the treat and the greetings and the hugs!

belated:
thank you joanne for the sms and the lovely encouraging message in it. thank you alex for really remembering, though it was late. hahahaha. thank you tze yi for wishing me over msn. sorry i missed your greetings on the actual day itself at hahahah 12:10 am. and last but not least, thank you dearest jema for the super long sms that brought tears to my eyes. even though you are so forgetful dear, i still love you! *hugs. oh and thank you kor matt for the treat and the jersey! wooohooo! ((: and thank you kegan for that tag ((:

and huili feels more loved now.

seventeen.

2005-11-29T23:05:00.000+08:00

it was depressing turning seventeen. i felt horrible today. quarrelled with my dad last night, threw a temper at mom... i started today (ie: 12 am) utterly pissed, sad, disappointed. i woke up in a foul mood. knowing that i was going for a job attachment instead of out celebrating made my mood worse. i was very distracted when doing devotion, which only made me more disgusted with myself. on the bus to lucky plaza, i cried - and managed to further humiliate myself.

and suddenly i realised that IF and when i finally manage to be near you, to see you again, it'll be all too late. you 20, i 18. too late, too late. i mean the norm's 21. your parents were 21. too late, too late. WHY?!?! i don't even know why i'm still clinging on. but i know i really need you.

but thanks to all my friends and loved ones, who with all their sms-es and well wishes made my day better. (oh, and tag prog today was rather interesting too.)

so here's a big *hug to all of you who cared enough to remember.
celene-who wished me on fri when i managed to catch her online after so many months! thanks for rmbering my dear.
alex-who wished me on sat in case he forgot.
sooling and sandra-who wished me on sun and gave me this LOVELY bouquet of orchids which i have preserved in my freezer ((: thank you so much. it really made my day.
auntie angela, mrs kortering, auntie suet yin-for wishing me happy birthday on sunday too!
david-for like... quite unwillingly wishing me happy birthday. hah.
and to all who sms-ed me on my birthday itself: claudia (you were the first! but you were early..), clement, yahting, dorcas, felicia, mingswin, kailing, huiling, minyi, emily, huiyi, isabel, matthew, shivika, ruowei garbie, celeste, karin, lydia dear, amy dear, cheegake, michelle, zhunian dear and wayening - THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH. ((: it was really really really appreciated. special mention goes to kailing, yahting, fel, huiling, minyi, em and huiyi who sms-ed frm india and even tried to call me on my handphone, even though it was flooding there. THANKS GIRLS. i was really touched ((:
to those who called: amelia (i'm pleasantly surprised you remembered!), justine pok! (please start acting your age, you're 2 months to 18! so OLD! tsk.)

yeah. nothing exciting happened today. oh well. thank God anyway for carrying me through yet another year of my life. for being there even though time and time again i disappoint Him. thank you Father.

i want to lock my entries.

2005-11-25T13:52:00.000+08:00

bah. i want to lock my entries. some of them at least. maybe i'll switch to diary-x. but too much hassle. =( sigh. can blogger please have this feature?

i don't even know why i'm blogging lah. maybe just for the sake of blogging. but ohwells. lemme recall what i did this week. monday, went shopping with mummy and qi and yi and mummy spent liek 300 over on me =( was feeling realllyyyy guilty. but i got new contacts! ((: yayness. but i've got astigmatism =( so had to custom make my left contact. which is why it's like 200 over for 13 months. why has astig come back to plague me! grrr... yupp. so that's abt all i did on mon. tuesday, went for harmoc. horrors. it started at 9 and i woke up at 845! like woah. so in the end i reached at... hehe. 11. but at least i went! but it was just a nightmare lah. everyone was so pro and so enthu, and i think that was like my FIRST time playing a harmoc properly. sigh. so many things to learn. irritating. and the pieces are all super HARD. oh wells. but finally saw garbie!! haahaha. and we talked so much over lunch. lalalalala. i had fun garbie!

sidetrack: i love rainy rainy days. don't you just love the rain? call me weird but i just like melancholy, because it is usually on wet, rainy days that all my memories come flooding back to me. bittersweet memories. i like remembering the past. i wish sometimes i could relive some moments. i like dwelling on the past (which is bad, but, that's me). ahhhhh. melancholy is a lovely feeling. ok huili, you better stop. you're sounding weirder by the second.

anw, on wed i went out with zhu dear! ((: yayyy. finally met up with her!! and we went to changi airport cos we wanted to just sit down and talk and talk. ok, i was like... horribly late lah. sorry dear! but in the end we just sat at the viewing gallery and talked and talked and talked and talked. there was so much to catch up on, but it was really fun knowing what was going on in her life again. and i was really glad that we can talk like we used to. ((: *hugggg. i love you dear! oh, we were approached by this sales-lady. quite a traumatic experience. lol.

on thurs, yesterday. was supposed to go for harmoc. but... decided to stay home to do some homework if not i will really die. (i still think i'm gonna die anyway, how am i supposed to do all the bio revision i was planning to!?!) yeah then went for dance prac. and i met garbie dear again at the busstop! yayyy! thanks for the letter and peanutbutter choc girl! lovelovelove! so after her bus came, went for dance prac at lt3. but borrowed blazer first. so kewl! haahahha. oh and i found a tie in the pocket of my blazer on my way home, but i already borrowed a tie! so now i have 2 hc ties! grrr. but nv mind, the one i borrowed was already tied! yay. no need to learn how to tie a tie! hahahhaha ((: i can't wait to go to taiwan! but i'll prob have to do hwk then. =( save me. oh, and i just hafta complain about this! why must we wear blazer and longsleeve white blouse and COURT SHOES to the airport! like... oh man. this means i'll be in court shoes and longsleeve white blouse on the plane! how UNCOMFORTABLE. =(( boohoo. we can just go and sub the airstewardesses and go be airstewardesses ourselves and trick all the passengers that they're on hwachong airlines. argh. i don't want. i hate court shoes. they give me blisters.

anyway, going for shuen's musical later! can't wait. she says it's gonna be good. i hope so! gonna meet rachie earlier to get flowers for shuen. ((: anyway, hope the pple in india are doing ok! smsed fel ytd.. hope she saw the sms and showed it to the rest too! ((:

ijuswananrunaway.

2005-11-22T18:55:00.000+08:00

somanythingshappeningallatonego. somanythingscomerushingatmeallatonce. irealiseihaven'tbeenagoodfren. i'veneglectedsomanypple,letdownsomanypple,hurtsomanypple. i'msorrysorrysorrysorry. ifeelsoashamed. i'vedishonoredChrist'snamebycallingmyselfaChristian. whatexampleamisetting? whatsortofrottentestimonyisthis? whyamilikethat? ohLord,pleasehelpme. forgivemeLord,forallthedishonori'vebroughttoyourname,forallthebadtestimoniesi'vegiven. forgivemeforbeingsowordly,soungodly,sounlikehowachildofyoursshouldbehave.

i'msorryididn'treadyourpostearlierjema. sorrythatididn'tcaremore. sorrythatididn'tbotheraskingmore. sorryttiseemedsoselfishonsatwhenallididwastalkabtmyselfandmyprobs. sorrysorrysorry. ireallydidn'tknowhowyouwerefeeling. didn'tbotherfindingout. didn'tknowyouwerefeelingsorotten. i'msorryforbeingsuchaterriblefren. sorrysorrysorry.

i'msorryicausedyoutohurtsobadlyyahting. sorrythatiwassuchabadChristiantestimony. sorrythatididn'tlearntoloveandacceptyouforwhoyouare. sorrythatididn'tbotherabtyoursideofthestory. sorrythatididn'tcareenuff. sorrythatididn'tshowpropergoodChristianlovetoyou. sorrythaticausedyouhurt,tearsandanguish. i'mreallyreallyreallysorry. ihopeyoucanforgiveme. thankyouforthatemail. itmademerealiseallthewrongi'vebeendoing. allthethingsi'vesoungodlysaidanddone. thankyouforbeingarealfrenandtellingmeallthat. i'msorrysorrysorry. ihopeyouknowhowsorryiam.

Lord,whyisitthatallthiscomeshittingmeallatonce? whyLord,why? ohLord,pleaseseemethruthis. helpmetochangeLord. tobeabettertestimonyforyou. toreallybealightshiningforyou. toloveyouwithallmyheart,soul,mindandstrength. Lord,forgivemeasinner. anundeserving,wretchedsinner. i'vesooftendisappointedyoulord. sooftenputyournametoshameLord. bemercifultome,asinner. bemercifulLord.

blank.

2005-11-17T22:50:00.002+08:00

on tues i finally went out with shuen and rachie, and it was FUN FUN FUN! awwwww... i miss you guys loads. LOADS. LOADS. we met at orchard at 11... or rather, no one was there at 11. we were all FASHIONABLY late. shuen sms-ed me at 11:15 and asked where i was. she arrived first, for once! LOL. (but maybe that's cos her grandparents drove her there... that's cheating!) anyway, when i reached, we shopped around wisma first while waiting for dear rachel. and in that short 30 mins or so, shuen actually bought a pair of shoes frm pazzion! she's like... so productive. hahahahaha. so when rachel came, we decided to go get some food, so we went to food republic and sat down. and sat down. and sat down. lol. no one wanted to move to buy anything. oh and in the process, liz called and was like cursing us cos we didn't want to tell her where we were, so that she can't find us. LOL. it's for YOUR OWN GOOD dear! go study for your public relations paper! LOL. (btw, how do you actually STUDY public relations?)

in the end we walked to far east to eat chicken rice, which was cheap and yummy! we proceeded to literally COMB the whole of far east. like.. all the levels except the ground level (how ironic!) oh and we went to this earring shop. like really there was only earrings earrings and more earrings with the odd sprinkle of necklaces and anklets. it was like some 3 for ... (oops. can't say how much, if not my sis will know how much half her bdae present was) thing.. so we were like looking and looking and looking. i got so dizzy man.. cos it was really earrings ALL over and it was sparkle sparkle EVERYWHERE. after browsing for one hour plus (yeah, we took that long!) in that shop alone, we decided to get out of far east. we accompanied shuen to tanglin plaza to get her resin, on the way we stopped by mango and zara and TRIED ON LOADS OF CLOTHES! hahahhaha. fun fun fun! it's been a loooong time since i did that, and i like that skirt i saw in zara! but omygoodness. 50 bucks! mannnn... i shall go find a cheap imitation or something. hahahaa ((: i love all the winter wear too, why won't mom let me buy some! it's not like i don't go to cold countries.. sheesh. hahahah. but it was fun fun fun trying on clothes.

after tanglin we went to coffee bean and wanted to get a drink, but went to shuen's house instead to watch dvds and pig out! we watched ice princess and meet joe black. nice shows. disappointing ending for ice princess, but the ice skating was GOOOOOOOD. go watch it jema! (if you haven't already) oh and we ate ice cream (shuen and i polished off half a tub of island creamery's burnt caramel after dinner :P) and chocolate muffins and drank sprite.. ohoh. but we ate FRUITS! ((: hhahahahaha. we are healthy ok.

yeah, so that was tues, which was tons of fun. thank you dear shuen and rachel for the super enjoyable time. i'm so glad we can talk and laugh and bitch like we used to. only we're not as tooooot and childish as we used to be. hahahahaha ((:

ohohoh. australia qualified for WORLD CUP 2006!! (after thirty over years!) hahahahha. they are so super lucky lah. but yupp... quite glad for them. was rooting for them instead of uruguay... and and and this gus hiddink is REALLY amazing! quite some accomplishments he has to his name huh? first holland, then south korea, now australia! woah. not bad at all.

and pleaseee.... let ballack choose man utd please... don't go to inter milan, don't remain at bayern munich, don't go to real madrid!! esp NOT real madrid. they already took beckham away frm man u!! =(

and i'm still GLOATING over the fact that man u won chelsea 1-0. HAH.

ok. enough ranting. happy belated 17th isa!

HI 138 ((:

2005-11-10T12:33:00.000+08:00

pw is finally over. ok, that was yesterday's news but still. i'm glad it's over. no more staying up till 3 am trying to get eom, wr, op or inr done ((: i'm glad. but yet, i think i'll miss HI138. yeahyeah, i know i complained alot, but i guess that was cos i was just pissed off with pw, and not with you'll. yeah. it's been fun working with you guys, especially our really AMUSING skit. hahahhaha ((: we truly showed great group dynamics yah? even though we really had intense pw for the past week, it was fun lah. all the crap that we did, the laughter, the niao-ing (i mean, with yz what do you expect?), the watching of vcds and tv, the slacking, the pigging out... truly unforgettable. it has been fun to work with you guys and maybe i'll miss working together as a group. MAYBE. i could do without the niao-ing frm all of you, thank you very much. HAH. but all in all (omygoodness! i'm starting to sound like i'm writing a pw document!), i think the whole pw "LEARNING JOURNEY" has been... an EXPERIENCE. i don't think i want to re-live it again (no thank you), but at least it enabled me to talk more with pple i wld have otherwise not done so (ie: yz and clem) so yupp! it has been good in that sense. and thanks guys, for REALLY helping each other out. staying up late together, and also for helping me get my stupid inr out at the last minute ((:

so yesterday after submitting the gpf, kailing and i went to orchard to eat subway! ((: yay. finally ate a subway sandwich. it was GOOOOOODDD ((: i love sandwiches with LOADS of VEG cos it makes me feel so healthy eating them! yummm. and might i mention that subway cookies that are FRESH OUT OF THE OVEN are positively DELIGHTFUL! *drools. so after lunch, we went to changi airport. i love that place. so serene, so calm, so peaceful. and so near to freedom. hahahhahaa. nvm, i'm flying out in less than a mth! yayness! and seriously, changi airport is turning more and more into a shopping centre! like... there's minibits and mini toons there now.. bods.bodynits too! man... why can't changi airport be in the west? they can like just shift changi airport to the west, and jurong island to the east! that would be so IDEAL. hahahahhaha.

sorry for the lack of a link but... i'm so ELATED!! ((: yay! received a letter frm andrea, and a photo of her! wow. she looks so different.. six years really is a long time! but so glad to have finally made contact again((: i was trying to scan in the pic of me and her six years ago, but my scanner refuses to cooperate. oh wells. i shall go reply her soon. oh oh oh, and she has the same birthday as me too! only person i know who has the same birthday as me. hahahahha ((:

ok. i better start packing up my desk, start thinking of what to get for jun ru and her family, start doing my homework, start revising my subjects, start practising my piano... and the list goes on.

*groan. harmoc every thursday and tues. i rather it was hnf. heh.

CANDY EMPIRE!!

2005-11-05T21:50:00.000+08:00

sigh* PW PW PW all the way till 9th nov. i'd better get started on my i&r soon. someone give me the inspiration. anyway, on friday, kailing, rw and i went to CANDY EMPIRE!!! i mean like FINALLY i'm going there. so EXCITING!! seeing the store frm afar already just makes you feel so HAPPY!!! ((: all the bright and cheery colours and the tons and TONS and TONS of goodies there... yumyum. i think we spent abt 40 bucks in total on chocs, sweets and biscuits! and got a free choc bar.. kailing, you'd better not have eaten it up! i want the traveller's maltesers! and the arnott's choc pack! oh man... droool. and all the DARK chocolate there.. YUM. and kettle chips and the mint chocs and the kinder bueno chocs! oh man oh man oh man! i want LOADS OF MONEY please. hahaahahahaha. fun fun fun! isa, i bet you're like tempted lah. just go there man, stop all your "flee temptations" facade. HAHAHAHA.

last night talked on the phone for quite long.. learnt a lot of stuff. i was totally overwhelmed by all the info told to me. wow. but i think i grew abit wiser to stuff in that period of time. hahahahaha.

saw shuen at last today! miss that girl. miss hanging out with rachie and her!! soon, soon! ((: am totally looking forward to that.

i so wish i was going overseas this year with my family! =( oh wells. i hope we go next year or something!

qi and i ((: i love the big big tree. melbourne 2002.

awww. so CUTE!! ((:

celene and jonah! ((:

and this folks, is what a tasmanian devil really looks like. do not be deceived by the cute Warner Brothers one. heh.

okay, time to pw. sigh*

randomness.

2005-11-03T00:01:00.000+08:00

ok. this is gonnna be super random. you have been forewarned.

today's amazing race was sad =( the Gaghans got eliminated! whywhywhy. they were one of the two teams i was rooting for. i think almost everyone rooted for them. booo =( i really admire the dad. he's so optimistic, so determined. and so encouraging with his children and wife! the children, Billy and Carissa, are also so cute! i think they inherited their dad's determination and optimism too. it's like Carissa said "the other teams think that just because we're small, we're gonna lose. but i can do other things like cheer my team up!" awww. i melted. and they're so mature in their thinking, it's really a pity they got eliminated cos of some silly red coffee bean. oh well, i guess that's life. these things happen. but i'm sure they've gleaned much frm the experience ((: and they really are the team that i've the greatest admiration for (=

ohohoh. there's this really cute footballer frm albirex niigata: Issey Nakajima. so CUTE! oh man. drools. hahahahah. HOT. think he's half canadian half japanese. oh man. mix-blood! sigh* mix-blood people usually look SUPER good lah. but nvm. my children are gonna be mix-blood! so i'll have really HOT children! wahahhahahah. quickly tell me if you wanna be their god-parents. LOL. ((:

tmr's rdc. theme for this year is "modern gospel: truth or lie". excited. hope more people come and learn more about my reformed faith! i'm gonna pray for you, that your mom will let you come. that somehow God will work in your mom's heart and allow you to continue to go to church, to grow spiritually. but i just wanna say that be patient if things don't seem to work out at first, cos God has His own plans for you. but trust and believe that in the end, His plans will work out for your good. don't give up on your Christian faith when the going gets a little tough ok? i'll be here to encourage you and to pray for and with you! ((:

am gonnna do a little advertising for dove now. hahahha. but seriously, dove shampoo and conditioner is THE BEST. i mean the 1/4 mosturising cream thingy really works lah. it's only when i use dove that my hair is super soft and silky ((: so now i'm gonna use dove and nothing else. even though the menthol head and shoulders feels quite shuang, but it just dosen't give your hair that silkiness and smoothness. i'll say, go for DOVE! it truly works wonders. and dove soap rocks too. i only don't like the facial foam. it stinks, literally. but other than that, go for dove. hahahaha. -advertisement over.

yeah. i think that's abt all i wanted to blog abt. thank God for carrying me thru another school year. and for my better-than-i-deserved promo grades ((: praise the Lord.

today.

2005-10-31T21:28:00.000+08:00

so today i went for tip dance prac in the morn. hahahah. what can i say, the dance is cute. lol. but the moves quite difficult! must practice! sheesh. but i can't dance cute dances for nuts lah. wait. not like i can dance any dances like that. ah wells. shall stand in front of the mirror and prac. i need the music though. joanne! send me!

so after that joanne, mich and i rushed off for health checkup lah. good thing we went there early, so we managed to beat the queue. ((: blur sab. was supposed to come, but forgot. sheesh. didn't even know lorh. think she called to change her appt instd. yeah. so they kept sending us to different rooms lah. took ht, wt, blood pressure, checked eyesight, checked for colour-blindness.. then then THEN. in the second room, so scary lah! cos i had this male doctor. then he was asking abt my medical history, any sickness blah blah. then aft that he asked me to lie on the bed like thingy. then i was like... errr. ok. only me and him in the room. abit scary. hahahaha. sorry lah, i v swagu, nv go for checkup one. then. after check the heartbeat with the stethescope, he was like i'm gonna check your stomach or something. then i was like woah! so weird!!! i almost died. cos he like errr. lifted up my shirt and prodded my stomach. hahahah. oh wells. quite traumatic. bleh. realised i sound so swagu. oh wells.

then went to eat lunch, went for pw... which i was like hoping to escape. so that can go rw's house to bake instd. hahahha. but oh wells. had to go in the end, but finally practised my 4th person script once! ((: and the skit.. ah sheesh. let's not talk abt that. hahahhhaha. oh wells. wanted to rush to rw's house aft that (frm bishan to clementi man!) but they decided not to bake apple crumble pie today since i had to rush! ((: yay. thanks dears. go rw's house soon k?

hmm. yeah so anw, on the train today to clement's house, was badmooding abit to myself lah. cos disappointed that i wasn't able to escape pw (aiyar, childish behaviour lah). then sigh, was listening to mp3, don't know why the sad songs were playing. ok, maybe not sad but memories-evoking. yeah. then as usual, started thinking of.. you. and those times. and wondering why i am where i am. and why not someplace else. sigh* if only...

ohohoh! but i talked to laura on msn the other night! and she gave me some good news ((: yayness. i love that girl! hope she fits right back into school quickly!

oh and shuen and rachel dears, are we EVER gonna go out? or just HANG OUT?

open house oh-five

2005-10-23T23:36:00.000+08:00

wow. that's 3 times in 2 days that i'm blogging. oh well. scroll down for previous posts. anyway.

openhouse'05: non-stop. can you keep up?
(for once, i'll just let the pictures do the talking.)

i love my poks ((:

((:

pretty pretty OH shirts! i LIKE!

yupp. i enjoyed OH quite abit. it was a GOOD break frm pw. sigh*

I WANTTT! ((:

2005-10-23T20:09:00.000+08:00

got this off friendster:
-im the guy who will text you every single morning and tell you good morning and every single night to tell you sweet dreams.
-im the guy who will text you and tell you "i loveyou and you make me smile" just because it's true.
-im the guy who will blindfold you and take you tothe beach, let you run your toes through the sand and then make you guess where we are.
-im the guy who will show up at your games (or competitions or meets) without you knowing just to surprise you.
-im the guy who will hold you when you are crying and wipe away your tears. (yes, and accept the fact that i cry quite often)
-im the guy who still thinks that you're beautiful even without makeup but instead, in sweat and a big t-shirt.
-im the guy who won't pressure you to do things you dont want to.
-im the guy who will show up at your house with soup and a movie when you aren't feeling well.
-im the guy who kisses you on the forehead.
-im the guy who doesnt kiss and tell.
-im the guy who actually listens to you when youtalk.
-im the guy who's excited all day because im looking forward to our date that night.
-im the guy who is contented to just be able to hold you and wants nothing more.
-im the guy who can't help but smile when you walk into the room.
-im the guy whos perfectly happy with staying in and watching movies and cuddling.
-im the guy who won't lie to you about where hes going or where he's been or who he's been with.
-im the guy who gets butterflies when he hears your name.
-im the guy who picks you over his friends (hm. i don't need my guy to do this all the time though. that's abit overboard)
-im the guy who's not afraid to tell his friends he loves you.
-im the guy that isn't afraid to tell you he loves you.
-im the guy who isn't always trying to actlike ahard ass around you. (don't really understand what this means though)
-im the guy that will tell you how i feel.
-im the guy who doesn't care about your imperfections and loves you more for them.
-im the guy who will hold you while we watch the sunset. (and sunrise ((: )
-IM THE GUY WHO REALLY WANTS TOMAKEYOU THEHAPPIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD.

and the above just about sums up my PRINCE ((:

trying to find the inspiration.

2005-10-22T20:54:00.000+08:00

so i won't give up,
no i won't break down,
sooner than it seems life turns around.
and i will be strong,
even when it all goes wrong.
when i'm standing in the dark
i'll still believe
that someone's watching over me.

just had dinner at the buijze's. bbq night ((: yumm. my sis almost fell into their pool playing ball. oh wells. didn't really enjoy myself. cos no one there i could really relate to. but it was good to get out of the house i guess.

everything's jumbled up in my head. in my heart. in my mind. i don't know what i'm thinking. don't know what i'm feeling. don't know what i should do. i just wanna run away frm all this. be a HERMIT. now that really appeals to me.

sigh* i don't even know what got me into this lousy mood. it's been a while since i cried. maybe i'm about to break down again soon. watch me.

argh. what is wrong with me.

i need someone i can really REALLY talk to; i wish you hadn't left for america yet.

nonstop. can you keep up?

2005-10-20T18:32:00.000+08:00

open house tmr! so EXCITING! i think the shirt is super kewl. and so's the banner and the whole theme! i want the goodie bag!! ((: yayness. today did the hnf banner. quite chio. hahahaha. it's PINK. lolx. finished quite early la. about 2:30 p.m so kailing and i were slacking around at the class bench reading seventeen, deciding where to go cos we didn't feel like going home. then suddenly, mr lim (aahahahah. i'm being so polite) came and plopped his not-so-dainty-and-not-so-little self down on the class bench and starting rattling off. poor us. lucky emily, left a short while later cos her mum came to pick her up alr. poor ruowei, who made the mistake of coming to find kailing and i. when em left, mr. lim was like "wah. i so boring ah. why you leave so fast? nvm, let's see how long ruowei can stand me." and he procceeded to shift himself to sit closer to ruowei. oh mans. and he commented on her MESMERISING voice again and then began to ramble on about harmoc (apparently he bought himself 2 harmocs and taught himself how to play them.. aiyar still got a longer story, but i'm too lazy to type it all out), piano, standing broad jump, napha, his presentation, pw. manx. i was like nodding my head but was not listening to what he said. trying to read the seventeen without making it obvious. lolx. then this guy walked past. and he like gave this secret smile that said "oh man. poor you. having to listen to HIM" then he walked to his class bench and told his friends and suddenly i heard this "oh man!" and loud laughter. oh man is so right lah. sigh* ohwells.

so when he FINALLY left, kailing and i quickly rushed off to westmall, afraid that he would return to talk more. ruowei ran off for harmoc. the westmall coffee bean is CLOSED =( so we just shopped around. didn't buy anything, and was feeling super tired. then we went to basement to search for Apple Stiz, but IT'S GONE! so didn't know what to eat. then saw shop & save's new bakery, and the doughnuts looked SO GOOD. mann. but we saw this bun that like had this fly stuck to it and wouldn't move, so we were like grossed out, and didn't want to buy. went to bread talk and bought $5 plus worth of bread. yumm. i ate moshi mushroom ((: then we got a free hotdog bun. THEN. when we went to pay, we saw this little cockroach crawling about behind the 2 women at the cashier. like.. WHERE HAS ALL THE CLEANLINESS GONE? argh. but still, we bought the bread lah. hahahaha.. but i still want a doughnut! a super SUGARY doughnut! yummm.

ooh. and ruowei smsed me just now and told me she was at the class bench with justine pok and guess what? GUESS WHAT? JUSTINE POK WAS ACTING SUPER BIMBO! hah. look who's the bimbo around! lalalaala ((:

huili! what is wrong with you man. why are you entertaining such thoughts?! why why why. don't be so stupid to repeat your mistake again. quit while you're ahead. you know nothing good will come out of it. you know it'll only hurt you again. you know it's not right. so why are you thinking this way! oh man. get a grip on yourself, for goodness' sakes!

get a life man. ALL of you.

2005-10-18T17:57:00.000+08:00

and so i thank you Lord for my better than expected results. happy about bio results. okay with my gp results. a little disappointed with my chem results. super disappointed with my maths results. oh wells. i deserve my maths results i guess. barely studied. only studied one day before. i shall put in more effort.

anw. loads of things i want to say. shall start somewhere. hmm. okay. i guess different people have different expectations of themselves for different subjects. i mean like my expectations of myself for maths are like super high. so even though i may get an A, i will not be satisfied cos i know that that's not my best effort. yes. so i guess what i'm trying to say is. try to understand if people complain abt not doing well enough when to you, their results may be like.. super good. i guess i do that sometimes. which i think is wrong. but then again, people can't help feeling disappointed when their expectations aren't met right? i mean, to each his/her own. yeah. had to say that. not to make excuses for myself, but i guess everyone has such moments one time or another in their life, and they're entitled to such moments.

another thing. after reading fel's blog, i just felt i have to say something. was a bit offended reading her blog. but hey. she's got her right to her own opinions. so i guess what i want to say is, people sometimes do have reasons for working so hard for s papers, for wanting so much to get scholarships. have you ever thought about those who really need scholarships so that they can ease the financial burden on their parents? okay fine. i'm talking about myself. no doubt i want s papers badly. no doubt i want a scholarship. i guess to some extent the reason for that is because i want to go overseas to study. because i do not exactly like it here in singapore and because i want to be more independent and also because sometimes, the courses you want aren't offered in local universities (eg: marine biology, which is one of my options). have you ever thought of it this way? yeah. also. i have like 3 other siblings. 2 of whom are not exactly bright. my parents sat me down in sec school and told me this (something like that) "huili. you are the oldest. and you know two of your sisters are not exactly very bright. daddy and mummy needs you to start working hard now so that you can try to get a scholarship when you're in jc because we cannot possibly afford to see all 4 of you through university without some form of financial assistance." yes. do you know how much pressure i feel? having to perform well? i will feel so TERRIBLY guilty if i don't do well enough to get a scholarship of some form. yeah. maybe you didn't see it that way. yeah. so just trying to say that some people really do have a purpose in striving hard for their s papers and scholarships. a GENUINE purpose.

anw. having said all that, i still think that at the end of the day, it's your heartware (like how ms koh and mrs. ng also puts it) that matters, not your hardware. yeah. attitude counts. character counts too. sigh* i need to reflect on my character too. oh well. we all have our faults. but that dosen't mean i'm making excuses for myself.

today. i was irritated. partly irritated at myself for thinking so nastily. partly irritated at someone. you're like so FAKE man. i can't stand it anymore. you think you're so kind and all. so thoughtful. so understanding. ugh. get a life man. you're not. maybe if you really truly search yourself, you'll find out how you don't really mean all your words of care, concern blah blah. and. i can't stand the fact that you are so.. "underhanded". not quite the right word, but i don't know how else to put it. why hide the fact that you actually MUG SO HARD? why pretend that you don't study at all? WHAT'S THE USE MAN? ah sheesh. there's really no use in that you know. you're in hwa chong after all. HWA CHONG. the mugger school. sigh* i don't even know what right i have to say all this lah. i dunno. i feel super confused now. i partly hate myself for thinking such mean thoughts of others. aiyar. i dunno dunno DUNNO LAH.

oh yes. other thing i wanted to say. i'm thankful that i've found true friends in hwachong, friends who really accept me and understand me for who i am ((: i guess i missed having such friends in sec 3 and 4. sure, i love my sec 3&4 class alot, and i've some close friends in that class. but still. i can't really say i found soulmates in any of my classmates. yeah. so it's great to have found such frens again. i get the same feeling with my sec 1&2 best friends (we still keep in close contact!), which is good.

so here's a big HUG to special friends of mine. in no particular order, i thank God for jema, lyd, amy, laura, kailing, justine, ruowei, shuen, rachel, clauds. thank God also for very good friends like zhu, waye, isa, joanne. i love all of you DEARLY.

i'm so looking forward to going out with waye, zhu, shuen+ rachel, jema sometime soon. hahahah ((: if only we could stop saying "meet up soon" and start setting some concrete dates. lolx. but i do know i'll see dear jema next week! and hopefully shuen and rach. if shuen is free.

don't make me let go. i don't wanna let go

ps: i love you.

2005-10-16T23:05:00.000+08:00

officially finished reading ps i love you. (leech: go read that book if you want something heart-warming. but it's written in a style that i think girls appreciate more, but still. it IS touching.) man. i cried so many times when reading the book. cried for holly (the main character). cried for gerry (Holly's husband). cried for holly+gerry. cried for aunty lee choo. cried for ptr cheah. cried for myself. sigh* i literally SOBBED. i think holly+gerry especially reminded me of ptr cheah+aunty lee choo. and that made me so sad. it's like sometimes, you really don't understand why God took ptr cheah away. esp, away frm aunty leechoo. she's so young! just past 30 (like holly)! and a widow. i dunno man. sometimes it's really hard to understand God's purpose. but then you know that it will work out for everyone's good. still. i felt really upset and sad when i read the book. and i know i'll cry again if i read the book again.

sometimes, i really hate myself cos i seriously cry too easily. like seriously. sigh. whats with me man. crying when i'm stressed. crying when i'm upset. crying when people piss me off. crying when people carry things too far. crying when i see disturbing scenes. crying when people scold me. crying when i watch sad shows. or read sad books. crying when i'm angry. argh. i'm such a weakling. like today, things were just not going my way. i cried like i think 5 times. whatswithme?!

ate at this korean restaurant for meis birthday ytd. food was good. service was BAD. they were seriously short-handed. i wish my birthday would come quickly. so that i can have birthday money. so that i can go buy my man utd jersey with karin! and buy so many clothes that i wanna get. and earrings. hairbands. sneakers. argh. loads of stuff lah.

ifeellikeaload'sbeenliftedoffmyshoulders.i'msogladit'sover.

i don't want to do minutes any more. shall do it tmr. i don't want to get back my results. i don't want to face reality. my dreams are like slipping away before my eyes. and there's nothing i can do to stop that frm happening. helpless.

oh yeah. just for memory's sake, when i look back at my entries a few years down the road. we got 2nd for frisbee and 4th for soccer for fos! so proud of 05s75... we rock! oooh. and i FINALLY exercised after a looooong time. proud of myself, especially since i ACTUALLY enjoyed sweating it out. more frisbee!

anws. i think our denomination's going to split up. i don't know why i'm feeling what i'm feeling. i'll sort out my feelings first. then i'll blog about it. but i'm glad my church takes the no remarriage stand.

iwannawatchwhitechicks! i miss my darling rachie and shuen. *huggs babes. we'll go out soon. i miss my dear zhu too. and i miss dear wayening. *catch up soon girls!

ohyah. i'll get round to doing that thing you tagged me to do okay wayening? not today. am not in the mood. sorry.

<3!

2005-10-15T10:24:00.000+08:00

just got an email from zhunian dear. miss her so much! ahhh. must meet up soon dear! ((: i will reply your email asap. what with pw and all =(

anws.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY QI!
meis. i love you very much even though sometimes we quarrel. and i pray you'll grow up to be a mature, godly, caring woman, shining for the Lord in every area of your life. stay grounded in His word, because then only will you be able to withstand all the wiles of the devil.

okk. off to pw. sigh. stupid minutes. how am i supposed to crap up 20 minutes! grrr. and NONE of you are sending me any minutes you'll did. quickly send la. grrrr. stupid yaozhen's ignoring me online again. grrr. oh wells.

ps: kailing! i really love the book! it's like funny but sad also! ahhhh. i cried like so many times reading it already. almost cried on the bus. so embarrassing. :S

not again.

2005-10-12T22:49:00.000+08:00

bad mood. where on earth are you huiling and yaozhen?!?!?!?! stop disappearing la. it's like.. wasn't there supposed to be a pw discussion? like oh man. so great. now clement's asleep already cos he has a headache (but at least he did loads of work le) and where are the both of you? i need the crappy biblio frm you yaozhen! arghARGHARGH!

sigh. stupid stupid stupid education system! barely one week after exams, all that CRAP comes. stupid pw. argh. argh. argh. i mean like. it like so MAKES SENSE that we're doing 90% of our whole pw in like 4 weeks. like wow. the previous few MONTHS we have only been doing a MERE 10%. like, this makes TOTAL sense to me. it's so LOGICAL, i don't understand.

argh. pissed off. like whatever. sigh* wanted to blog about FOS which was like LOADS OF FUN. but i have like no mood now. no mood whatsoever. i just want to crawl into bed and sleep. stupid pw. i wish you didn't exist.

to top if all off. i feel like puking. my family's pissed at me. i have this big bruise on my hand.

so help me Lord. for i know that You're always there for me. even unto ETERNITY. and that is something no one else can promise me. NO ONE.

lalalalalalaala((:

2005-10-10T21:26:00.000+08:00

woah. i've accumulated so many unreplied tags, i better start replying them. here goes:

wayening: hahahha. abit too late to reply now but. going to woodlands library today brought back memories of you! meet up soon okay? miss ya babe!

annie: bleah. sorry i didn't see you in sentosa on fri. i hope you had fun on your bdae! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY girl! sorry it slipped my mind :s

fel: hahahha. no, i don't think i rmb my first impression of you at all. i mean that was like eons ago! lol.

huiling: hahahah. sms bao4. so funny. nvm. i understand. lols. yellow for apollo mah! must be loyal to our faculty! *sneaks a glance at awyong and kegan. lols. hahahah. nice name ((: yupps yupps esp to both of us! hahhah. glad you had fun at sentosa! anw, everything is over le. oh wait except pw. boo =( nvm, we got plans to spice up our pw mtgs rite? LOLS.

ms: hahah. it's okay. yupyup. post-promos is fun! but why the school days all so long... boo =( nvm. better than exams. anw. saw is really sick lah. let's not talk abt it anymore.

kegan: i'm a girl lor. i have a right to bathe longer. hah. ((: being able to "appreciate" deep sleep even when the surroundings are so noisy is a characteristic of a true pig! hahahah. no point denying.

awyong: yeah. sigh* i don't wanna watch saw 2. i don't care if the plot is good. hahahah ((: too much trauma. lols. yeah. you are the piggiest lah. sleep so LONG! =(

kailing: hahahaha. still dreaming of your fish and co? hahahah. i wish we had more money to eat more things! like all the food that we were dreaming of today. anw, go bangkok must rmb me k? buy stuff for me! ((: anw. when i come into more money, i'll go eat with you k? *promise!

yahting: lols. yeah. we're gonna WIN man. hahah. but i didn't watch pride today. was cooking shepherd's pie ((:

speaking of shepherd's pie, i cooked it for my family today for dinner! ((: yummm. though the beef layer is not tomato-y enough lah. bit dry. but it's generally nice! proud of myself ((: but cutting onions sucks man. i was really TEARING LIKE MAD when i had to chop all the onions to fine cubes. sighs. oh wells. the effort paid off i gues. the cheesy layer on top of the potato was super nice lah! *drools. lols. daddy wants me to cook it again within this week to "improve my culinary skills in this dish" or so he says. hahaha ((:

today we were being intellectual again. so garbie, kailing and i went to WOODLANDS REGIONAL LIBRARY to borrow books. hahahah. i can't believe it man. first we went to a BOOKSTORE. next a LIBRARY. all within 5 days after the exams are over. hahahaha ((: oh wells. borrowed nice nice books to satisfy my craving for books! i so miss cuddling up on my bed with a good book! ((: happy days are here again. lalalallalaala.

i think i'll go shopping for a new blogskin. getting tired of this one already. i'll go for a simpler skin i guess. this is getting too complicated and messy for me! ta~

YAYNESS*

2005-10-08T21:12:00.000+08:00

it's OVER. so who cares about bio mock spa anyway. thurs after bio justine, rw, kailing and i went to orchard! fun fun! ate long johns silver! yummm. haven't eaten that in such a uber LONG while! oops. no pun intended. i think we like sat there and ate and talked for about an hour or so((: and laughed like every 30 secs ((: then we walked around cine and i bought stickers for vania's birthday. she's turning eight! and she was so sweet to me when i was studying for exams, scolding her annoying lil bro when he kept irritating me and lending me her much-needed ball-point pen. what a sweetie ((: back to thurs. then we walked to taka and went to kino! like.. woah. we're such muggers hardworking pple (: we looked at the 2006 guiness book of records with its SHINY GLITTERY COVER for about an hour. after tt we helped kailing to find her "grown-up" version of princess diaries. hahahaha. but to no avail. oh wells.

then we went to kfc to sit and talk. i tell you, we were so tired we kept wanting to sit down every 10 steps lor! hahahahah. yupp. then kailing and ruowei ate their super oily hot and spicy wings. lol. then we like started talking about all the polyunsaturated fats and cancer and whatnots. OH MAN. go away la bio. you're INVADING our pure innocent subconscious minds! oh wells. justine had to leave for her music practice (lol. and we thought choir, or rather i thought) then kailing rw and i went down to taka basement where i pigged out on tori q. ruowei was supposed to pig out with me, but she felt guilty about the oily wings. hahahah. then we decided to go wisma to look at the redearth lip gloss and the moshi moshi bracelet. hahahaha. felt like lil schoolgirls in redearth lorh. so suagu. hahahaha. oh wells. nice nice lip glosses! and nail polish! *swoons. but too bad i got like 4 lil pots of lip gloss frm red earth le. =(

then we wanted to go to fareast/heeren to get earrings. decided on heeren. on the way we saw all these lil shops along the pathway outside taka. woah. jewellery GALORE. ruowei and i bought identical anklets, mine in pink hers in blue. kailing bought a nice heart necklace ((: good bargains. pity earrings weren't our type. and kailing cldn't find her feather ones. then we saw fel, jaey, awyong, huiling, yahting. they just finished kboxing (hahahah. sounds like kickboxing) and were going to FAR east. lol. note the FAR. yeah. i guess we were all so drained by the exams la. all braindead. and physically tired too.

went to SK after that. nice nice sales girl((: gave us pretty boxes foc for our pretty pearl necklaces. felt posh carrying arnd an sk bag man. hahaaha. went heeren and tried looking for earrings. ended up buying a hairband, and rw and kailing bought hair-ties. hahahha. no earrings =( by then we were so tired le. it was about 6 plus. so we went home. kailing took 174 with me then changed at shell! thanks dear! i like company on long bus rides! ((: i hope ruowei didn't get lost gg down the escalator to the station LOL.

friday was very tired. too lazy to go to sentosa. sorry. but sleepover was fun! ((: vcd marathon man! let's see. i watched initial d, some jap show called be with you or something (i cried=( it was touching k?), princess diaries 2(which was HILARIOUS!! and nicholas is so cute! hahahah. name fits the person man ((: ), jing3 cha2 gu4 shi4 (the first part was super sick, i almost cried). then took a break and slept for 2hours. or attempted to. cos sam's alarm was like ringing so noisily and loudly! (but kegan still slept like a pig. diao.) after tt, got mac's delivery for breakfast, watched a random episode of mvp qing ren. then watched the day after tmr, and lastly watched, sigh* saw. the twist was really.. WOAH. good scriptwriter (yes, clement) but too gruesome for me la. was quite disturbed. hmm. i realise smthg abt myself. i cry when i see disturbing scenes. really la. i was on the verge of bursting into tears (literally) when i watched this scene in saw.

oh wells. now not feeling v tired. but i hope i can last tmr. will try to sleep earlier tonight. stupid bio mock spa. what a damper. so anti-climax. boo =( off to.. err. i duno. bathe? hahahha. yupp. ok. can't wait to sleep. i missed my bed.

one more day ((:

2005-10-05T13:20:00.000+08:00

woohoo. one more day ((: and it'll be OVER. yayness. listening to summergirls now. don't know why it sounds so familiar. like.. it used to be someone's fav song or something and tt person kept making me listen to "chinese food makes me sick.. i like girls that wear abercrombie and fitch.." maybe it was liz' s fav. hahaah. can't rmb for the life of me =( oh wells.

oh yes.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUILING ((:
i'm so sorry i forgot to sms you at 12 midnight. was feeling stressed and tired. :S sorry!

ok. now,

kailing:
1) Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
kailing loves bimbo books! like me! yayness* partnership in bimbo-ism ((:
2) I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
hmm. i don't know, charlie and the choc factory? cos we almost got to watch it tog.
3) I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
cherry. don't ask me why.
4) I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
lots of things man. WAFFLETOWN ((: savekaryn ((: rgs girls love rolling! hahahha. and.. you know like cute cute, not cute cute ((:
5) I'll tell you my first memory of you.
hahaha. this is really childish and terrible =( cos it was intro in class right, then i was like thinking.. why you emily and huiyi so cheaters. intro each other, when we were supposed to intro pple who we didn't know before. hahahah. terrible first impression. LOL. but thankfully, that's changed! ((:
6) I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
not animal, tatty bear! ((:
7) I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
why do you like leehom so much?

amelia:
1) Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
amelia is super BLUR.
2) I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
honey ((:
3) I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
aloevera grape. hahahha. i dunno why.
4) I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
*rolls eyes* lol. rmb our whole "whatever, roll eyes" routine in the assembly line? ((:
5) I'll tell you my first memory of you.
i really can't rmb. =( sorry.
6) I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
fish. hahahahha. sorry. but it was your why fish don't drown qn lah!
7) I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
where does all your money come from? you don't ever seem to be broke even though you buy so many things!

annie:
1) Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
annie has a HIGH-pitched voice
2) I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
Spongebob square pants. i don't know why!
3) I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
lemon
4) I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
can we drink water when fasting? LOL. and err. pocky makes me happy!
5) I'll tell you my first memory of you.
hmm. let's not dwell on that. hahahah. it's the past.
6) I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
pufferfish! cos you always puff out your cheeks!
7) I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
how did you manage to hate a school you APPEALED to get into?

ok. sleep. mug. sleep. that's how i'll spend today. maybe i'll watch amazing race since they haven't updated the website. but then again, maybe not. tomorrow, COME QUICKLY!

"i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" - phil 4:13

and i thank you Lord.

2005-10-04T12:29:00.000+08:00

and i thank you Lord, for carrying me through 3 papers. thank you for granting me the strength. and for enabling me to finish all my papers. i commit my results into Your hand, bless it Lord. and most importantly, may Your will be done in my life. even if it means not being able to get s papers, and not being able to get a scholarship, i'll do Your will Lord, because ultimately i know all things will work out for my good.

yummm. i'm eating ba kwa now ((: my fav. hahaha. oh wells. actually i don't know why i'm blogging for. must mug chem later. shall sleep for a while first. hmm. eeee. just got this weird sms frm start chat. argh. i hate spam smses. =(

can't wait for promos to be over. shopping, sentosa-ing, sleeping over, bio mock spa, going to taiwan.. wahhhh. it'll be over in 2 more days! yayness.

ok. since i'm really bored.

1) Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2) I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3) I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4) I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5) I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6) I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7) I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.

ripped off Abi's livejournal. ((: tag your name on the tagboard. i'll reply in my posts.

HAPPINESS ((:

2005-09-23T18:23:00.000+08:00

HAPPINESS!!! i love my poks. they help me to keep my sanity... despite the fact that it's 2 weeks to end of promos and i've barely started studying. =( but thank God for all their craziness and fun, which keeps me from getting all stressed out and depressed. with them, i feel so liberated, so.. joyful. POKS ARE MY HAPPINESS!!!
hearttt my poks.

justine pok: you ORIGINAL POK!!! my father's ex-boss' daughter (hahahah. finding out was WAY COOL!!) girl, you have been such an encouragement to me ((: thank God that He has made us classmates, because your good Christian testimony has blessed me and made me check whether i have been living for Christ as i should. so thank God for you! and even though you may ALWAYS bully me and suan and niao me, i still love you!!! and i know you love me too, you just won't admit it. hahahah. but thanks for being there, and thanks for being a sensible trustable friend who i know i can alway rely on. *huggs-

ruowei pok^2: GARBIE!!! lalalala. we garble!! ((: haahhhaa. y is for??? (and here you'll go: YOGHURT!) but oh wells. i know you're just dying to suan me back. lalalalala. anyway, my dear garbie, you have been such a GREAT friend. always there for me, to crap and scream and shout and make LOADS OF NOISE with. hahahahha ((: we really drive pok and pok^4 nuts!!! but hey. it's those times with you that i really feel very happy, cos' it's only then that i'm really me. so thanks for bringing out that hyper and noisy side of me. and for helping me destress. i love you garbie!!! (i bet you love me too, i'm so lovable :p) and i'll always be here for you.

kailing pok^4: DEAR!!! well. we've certainly gone through ALOT these past 9 months... and i'm glad we've come out of it all, more firm and close friends ((: that show our friendship is STRONG eh? it's not sth to mess with. thanks for understanding me, and for all the times you were there when i needed you. thanks for squealing with me about bimbo stuff, cos it really helps when someone shares your liking for such stuff (but that does NOT make us bimbos!! ((: ). it also helps that you really know how i'm feeling about.... yeah. i know you know what i mean ((: for that and more, i love you girl. and i'm sure the feeling's mutual. ((:

lalaalala. notice justine's is in orange, ruowei's in purple and kailing's in pink ((:
off to study, i've a lot of catching up to do. will be MIAing online till promos are over. i will keep to my resolution, unless i have to redo my eom before promos are over =( mug hard everyone.

i'm sorry things turned out this way. i wish they hadn't.. but they still did. and i'm sorry. i just want you to know that you're special and nice, and the fault's not with you. it's just i'm not able to appreciate you as a close friend.. go find better friends. cos it's my loss that i can't clique with you. i'm sorry for being such a bad friend these past 9 months. above all, i wanna say that God is always there for you ok? and He's the best friend you can ever have, and i'm glad He's your friend ((: *hug.

shining shimmering splendid*

2005-09-20T20:56:00.000+08:00

i don't know why the aladdin song keeps replaying in my mind. hahahaha. shining shimmering splendid ((: ahhhh. so fairytale-ish. i LIKE ((: randomness again. oh wells.

photos ((:

somewhere out there*over the rainbow.

29th november nineteen-ninety-nine ((:
you. doing that thing you do.

yuppyupp. very special memories i'm sharing here. for the sake of kailing lah. hahaha ((:

imissyouandthosetimesyouwillalwaysbe.
tuckedawayinaspecialcornerofmyheart.
nonottuckedaway.butthereforevertostay<3

blogging again. sigh*

2005-09-18T20:54:00.000+08:00

jun ru is so cute. she just sent me a card to wish me happy MAF. lalalala. im amused ((: i can't wait to go taiwan! and shoppp with her. she's fun to shop with!! and watch tv with her ((: which is fun to do together too.

go see this week's newsweek. you open the magazine to the middle page then place it face down. (ie: look at the back page and cover page side by side) what a PARADOX (lalalallal. i feel proud of myself for knowing how to use the word paradox! seeing as i'm not a lit student (since sec 2) and all. hahahha. isa, are you proud of me?). but really, go see. i was very sad when i saw it. a poor child's face with a single tear trickling down (victim of hurricane katrina) and brad pitt's smiling face advertising a rolex watch. sigh* and they're BOTH americans. what a strong contrast. (i should have taken lit. i love lit.) so.. thought-provoking (hahaha. sound familiar brendan?)

anw, it was only today in the afternoon service that i realised how much i miss ptr kortering's messages. he has this super powerful voice and way of bringing God's message across that really really makes you sit up and listen. ahhhh. i'll miss him when he goes back to the states (bring me with you!). but thank God that he's willing to come down on his own accord to help especially my church get through this ordeal. at least he fills the emptiness left by ptr cheah a little. i'm looking forward to his catechism classes :))

to kailing: hey. really, you should just ignore what happened yeah? forget about it. i dunno, i guess i have become numb to it, i just don't care anymore. i don't even think i want it to return to the way it used to be. yeah. maybe that's why i was more shocked than hurt. but yeah. know that huiling and i will be there for you ((: and i'm all you need. hahahahah. jking but yeah. you get what i mean right? *muacks!

please reply my postcard... i'm crossing my fingers. waiting.

i hate pw.

2005-09-17T18:45:00.000+08:00

i hate pw. i really do. it's like the BANE of my life. go awayyy. sigh* WR sucks. sucks sucks sucks. whatever. but thank you huiling and clement for immediately coming online when i needed you'll ((: then i don't have to be the formatter cum editor. yupyup. thanks. and *hugs to huiling for "hugging" me too and for the sms ((:

sigh* i'm so lagging in my revision for promos, i just don't want to think about it anymore. it's too depressing.

i'm getting random here. but whatever. who cares.

i miss rolling my eyes. i don't know why i stopped ever since coming to hwachong. i miss being remembered for my trademark rolling eyes in nanyang. i was a pro at it man. sigh* gone are the carefree fun-filled nanyang days. welcome to hwachong. "the school of no life" muggggg. i hate this side of hwachong. oh, and sadly. i doubt i'll ever love hwachong. yeah. oh wells.

this familiar longing is creeping up inside me again. the longing to be out of singapore. the longing to have been born somewhere else (read: michigan). the longing to see special special friends who are all overseas. the longing to see you. it just dosen't work. i cannot erase the memories. time will not make them fade. anyway, i don't want them to. i wish i could turn back time. and stop time there.

even though studying at sicc was unproductive, i still enjoyed myself there. cos i was with shuen! ahhhh. so much to catch up on. and i miss her craziness. and her musings. stupid rachel couldn't make it again. grrr. i don't care. i want a sleepover in the hols again. *folds arms and pouts*

i wish everyday could be a sunday. i love being in church. ((:

"i can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me" -Phil 4:13

i will get EE for my pw. hah. that would show that stupid subject that i can master it. HI138 will master you, you stupid bane-of-our-lives subject.

randomness. i love randomness. so sue me. i don't care.

ARGH!

2005-09-15T00:59:00.000+08:00

stop forcing me. i can't means i can't. i'm brain dead. you know what that means? i can't think of ANYTHING. so it's no point forcing me cos i'll just stone in front of the comp till 6 am. i know my limits. i'm sorry. i know i'm being irresponsible. but i can't do anything anymore. i'm SATURATED. and you know what? you made me cry. like i'm not stressed enough. so stop forcing me. cos i'm not going to give in to you. so there.

(the above was written in a fit of stress, anger, panic, whatever. you, do not take it to heart.)

brave smile (:

2005-09-12T20:36:00.000+08:00

i'm fine. really. it's just that 4 deaths in the church in 2 weeks is too much to handle. too much for anyone to handle, i would say. but yet, He giveth the grace. thanks be to God for His unspeakable gift which gives us hope. because Christians die with a hope. not without. and anyway, dying is a passage to heaven. so yes, though we sorrow, we can still rejoice when a saint dies. because the death of a saint is precious to the Lord. ((: i'm fine. i'm moving on.. taking comfort in these words.

but... i miss LAURA!! ahhhhh. i never thought i'd miss her so much after she went back to the states! boo =( i guess i miss her all the more now cos i hardly see her on msn after her school started on sept 2. booo =( i envy her cos she gets to go to a school where everyone is Christian (hmmm.. no offence here) and where almost everyone comes from the same denomination (PRC). i really wish my parents had migrated last time. grrrr. why couldn't daddy like find a job there!?!? sigh* i hope she's enjoying herself in school!

anw,
annie: thanks for the testi babe! ((: i'll write you one after promos kay? yupyup. gotta MUGGGGG now!
and thanks everyone for your tags.. as you can see, i'm far to lazy to reply now. shuen, i guess you should read the previous posts. you'll know what i'm talking about. yupyup.

back after promos. gonna stay offline until them. hopefully i can keep my promise to myself. i NEED my 2 s papers. i NEED to pass bio. sigh*

so help me, Lord.