you make me
high
drunk
INTOXICATED
***
Friday, July 07, 2006
3:12 PM
there are a few times when i feel like killing myself.
literally.
this is one of the few rare times.
or at least hide myself frm the rest of the world.
and never come out again.
like go into permanent hibernation.
but doesn't that equal dying?
or emigrate somewhere where no one recognises me.
but i don't think i'm strong enough to survive on my own.
not yet.
maybe one day.
when i've toughened myself up.
when i've hardened my heart.
i think i'm not turning to the Lord enough.
if not why am i thinking like this.
i need to build up my faith too.
Lord please help me.
i'm here.
are You there?
why when it comes to this matter i ask and ask
but You don't seem to reply.
are You there?
but maybe You've answered me already.
but i just don't want to accept Your answer
cos i can't bear to.
so what on earth is wrong with me.
forgive me Lord.
give me some time to accept and obey Your will.
kailing,
we shall both be strong k?
isn't it ironic that we are so very often stuck in the same situations?
i know what's happening now really sucks.
but it's all part of growing up.
we shall learn not to be so sensitive.
not to get our hopes up.
and one day when all this blows over,
we will be proud of ourselves (:
thank you for being there,
for listening to me rant,
for ranting with me.
she will curl up and sleep,
tears streaming down her face.
tonight she will sleep,
without a smile on her face.
i overreact sometimes.
love, huili.
princess*
huili
seventeen
29th Nov
hcjc.nygh.phpps
pink.orange.yellow.green
dolphins.meerkats
wishingforyouonafallingstar*
brand new wadrobe (HAH!)
shades
gold charles&keith heels
esprit cargo pants
mango basic tops
*HUGS* TOTAL!
give huili more
*HUGS*
Get hugs of your
own