tantalize your senses*

was feeling moody last night. felt stupid, depressed, at a loss. but thank you and you for listening. i shall take your advice and shall attempt to blog abt it.

sometimes these things just hit u by surprise. u think life's going all peachy for u when sth happens n u realise it's not. then u realise tt u wanna tell someone, look arnd, and realise there's no one. maybe it's cos u're afraid of bein hurt again. afraid tt u'll just end up embarrassed, looking stupid and being laughed at. so u don't say anything. u keep it all to urself. and pray someone cares enuff to realise sth's amiss and ask what's wrong. but when tt doesn't happen.. u just feel depressed n start the whole self-doubt thing. and tt leads to a vicious cycle. u wanna get out of that cycle, but u can't. it's trapped u. but somehow life still has to move on. and u just try to pick urself up, and move on wif a smile. but the hurt's still there. buried. waiting to resurface one day when more and more hurt gets piled on top until the pressure's too great and everything erupts. i hope tt day will never come.

blah. it's ok if u don't understand all this. i just wanted to get it out of my system. no one was supposed to understand this. so just ignore this entry. and go do my johari window for me! haha.

hey. i don't really feel better yet. but maybe i will after awhile. meanwhile, thx (: oh and today was a better day (:

love, huili.

Sunday, February 19, 2006
9:18 PM

everyone! haha. pls go do visit these 2 websites for me and go do!! ((: thankew v much! it's not virus so don't worry! here they are:

http://kevan.org/johari?name=huilipok^3!

and

http://kevan.org/nohari?name=huilipok^3!

thankyou!
eh pls include the exclamation mark. dunno why this screwed blogger dun wanna make the qn mark blue and highlighted.. it's part of the html link! thankyou thank you thankyou! (:

love, huili.

Saturday, February 18, 2006
12:53 AM

want to flush dwn the prev post. so yupp. past week has been v eventful, what with vday, xcountry, piano exam, spa (haha.), dramafeste. (: but now it's time to settle down again and start mugging. just thinking tt blocks is like in abt a mth's time is scary! =( i'm so not prepared. helpppp. anyway.

vday: heyy thx for the love, everyone! this yr's vday was fun! frm shopping for presents (ok, so tt wasn't really fun but oh wells) to coming up wif the shoelaces thingy and actually doing it! oh and i enjoyed writing all the msges to the class too! i took like 4 hrs to finish all the msges lah! and like i used up all the ink of a NEW pen so had to like rush to popular to get a new one so that i cld finish the msges. hahaha. (: touched? lols. yupp. anw, i like the presents i got! and i was quite surprised and touched to recieve stitch's present! (: so yah. thank you: chrissia! jamie! stitch dear! class guys! bren! minnie! meix! jaey! fel! huiling! huiyi! yahting! awyong! pok! and of course darlings kailing, karin and ruowei for doing the shoelaces together! yupp. thank you all for the cookies, chocs, sweets, pencilbox, cap, pillow, cards(: appreciate them! and i love jema dear, dorcas n clauds for the smses! (: lunch at swensen's was good too!

piano exam: disappointed with myself. dunno why i fumbled also, esp in my scales :( ahh. just pray i'll pass this time round! and i'm also thankful for pple who cared to encourage me and ask abt it (: hee. thank you karin, kailing, ruowei, fel, yahting, awyong, huiling, huiyi, justine, clement, bren, yingteng for caring!

x-country: am very proud of myself! haha. after having not exercised for 2 whole weeks, i actually managed to like run for the most part of the race and come in with a commendable position! (: hehs. and i dunno why but after xcountry i'm like inspired to exercise more regularly! and i think exercising makes u feel good! so i shall stop being a couch potato (grr. my parents keep calling me tt!) and start exercising! and so yay i'm quite happy that i've exercised qt a lot this week: xcountry on wed, bball during pe on thurs, aerobics on fri! (: wheee~ karin! quick go formulate ur exercise plan then we can go exercise together! haha.

dramafeste: i just wanna say that even though we didn't like bag almost all the titles (like we did last year), i think APOLLO STILL RAWKS! (: so yeah! and we will so win the faculty shield at the end of the year. juniors, jiayou! haha. yupp but seriously, ares play was goooood. great script man. acting was not bad too! but the whole dramafeste this year was so super sick lah. grossed out. bleh. hehhss. but dfeste was overall rather fun! wheee~

jts tmr at marche! yayness! (:

love, huili.

Sunday, February 12, 2006
6:46 PM

ahhh. i know i said i won't blog. but thanks to yifang aka stitch, here i am. grrrr. ok. so here goes:

The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover. Need to mention the sex of the target. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their page saying they've been tagged. If tagged the 2nd time, theres no need to post again.

target: male

1. must be a christian! cos the bible tells us not to be unequally yoked. yeah. and i think it's v hard for pple of diff religions to live together anyway. so yupp. i know this may sound really absurd to some of you lah. but ever since dunno when, this quality (ie: being a christian) has always been on my list for my perfect prince! so yupp. ((:

2. must be able to make me laugh! i think tt's really impt cos when i'm down i want someone who can like make my happy again by making me laugh. and i also can't stand pple who are too dull and dun have any sense of humour. but basically, i think laughter's quite essential in a relationship? yupp. so yeah.

3. must be able to communciate with me. hahaha. yah. kinda means he has to be my soulmate/bestfriend kinda thing. then can have intelligent talks sometime! but most imptly it's cos i must be able to share everything with him. it's gonna be hard and weird keeping secrets frm someone u see like.. almost 24/7? yupp.

4. must be loyal! i can't stand unfaithfulness! goodness. yupp. but that doesn't mean sticking to each other 24/7 cos that gets abit too much! and i think i'll get sick of him if we do tt! so yeah. cannot be too sticky but cannot stray either! ((:

5. must be sweet! hahaha. must surprise me wif stuff like chocs, flowers and stuffed toys! and must rmb my bdate and special days! (hahaha. i think my close frens know which stuffed toy i want! yay. you'll can help me tell my bf nxt time. lols.) i guess i'm quite a romantic at heart. ((: yeah. so i prob won't like someone like mrs. lim's husband. ahhaa. it just isn't my type.

6. must like kids and must be willing to share the housework. hahaha. i think this is like 2 combined into one but.. who cares?! yupp. this one's quite self-explanatory.

7. must be taller and older than me! haha. but i think this criteria abit easy to satisfy lah since i'm so short. but yupp. i don't go for younger guys! not even those who are like.. 1 day younger. HAHA. sounds silly but i'll still feel weird if the guy was one day younger. but maybe that will change next time? i dunno. oh well.

8. must love to travel! yayyy. then we can get married abit early then have kids late! then can go travel the world! ((: of cos, it'll be good if he was rich so we can travel in style. LOL.

yahhh. the above sums up my perfect one! i think it's quite attainable leh. i don't know lah. actually the list can go on and on and on. like cannot smoke, drink (except for socialising), do drugs (DUH!) blah blah. oh and it'll really be perfect if he were angmoh! hahhahaha. sorry, but i tend to be biased 2wards ang mohs. have had a v v v good impression of them since... pri 5. ((: hahaha. u prob won't utd lah unless u're one of the few i've told. yupp. anyways. i tag: yahting, huiling, fel, brendan (who prob won't do it till like dunno hw long later cos of his stupid comp tt crashed), ameliakoh, zhunian, isabel, chrisseah! (haha.)

anyway, ytd shopping for vdae pressies was tiring. and i got scolded for coming home so late. shopped frm 12 to 7. oh mannn. yupp glad i settled all the pressies (incl clauds' bdae pressie which is like how belated).. so its like i met kl at fareast, then we immediately went to ps and got her mortal's pressie (or half of it), then ate long john's silver and went to taka. bought clauds present and a top for miself, met bren (sam was supposed to come too! but he was like hw late!), and we went to spy on karin! but she was left mos' le! =( hahaha. then went to paragon's aussino to look for bren's angel's pressie. yes, aussino. hahaha. then went heeren, met clement. then got angel's pressie. decided to share wif meix. yeah tried to find mortal's pressie but cldn't. then met meix and sam then off we went to heeren, stopping by aussino again to really buy the pressie this time round (cos biqing's sam's mortal and bren wanted sam's opinion). meix bought mortal's pressie. at far east, FINALLY manage to get mortal's pressie. and kl managed to get her angel's pressie at last. yupp then went home cos mummy was nagging alr. was dead tired. falling aslp when i practised piano.

hahaha. ok. nw haf to finish the class vday pressies. tiredddd.
p/s: kegna! this is in YELLOW! ((:

love, huili.

Friday, February 10, 2006
7:59 PM

weets! taiwan photos finally uploaded (: only the TOOOOOT shutterfly only allow me to share 250 photos! and i had 363! boooo. so yeah. selected the pics to share lah. ((: have fun viewing my wonderful memories as part of TIP '05! leave comments on my tagboard please! oh yah. go view here: http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=2Acs2LJu4cMXGg&notag=1

toodles!

p.s: won't be blogging in a while. my hiatus has returned. till next time! (:
p.s.s: cos this will be my final post in a looooong while, it'll be in... PINK! haha.

love, huili.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006
10:54 PM

i think unknowingly, unwittingly, i've moved on. but suddenly i feel lost. because all i did, my "perfect plan", my dreams, are all revolved around you. and now, i don't know what to do. i know i should feel proud of myself, but i feel too at a loss to feel anything else.

love, huili.