tantalize your senses*

wanted to blog abt this on sun, but felt too siann. so blogging now. but before that, just wanna say that YAY! last napfa over and done with on thurs (: actually i quite like 5 items. but 2.4 is like ughh. anw, i managed to get 30 pts! yayness! what a way to end the years of napfa tests. so yay. i was very pleased on thurs. haha.

moving on. everyone, go try paddle pop's HIPHOPJELLY icecream! haha. i think it's super cuteeee! cos my sisters and i eat it my sucking out all the icecream leaving the jelly behind. so it's like this huge GREEN FLOPPY TONGUE there. haha. ok sounds quite gross. but my sisters and i were zi high-ing on sunday (: aft church daddy and mommy went to do grocery shopping. so meis and i sneaked off to buy 4 hiphopjellys. one for each of us (: haha. and we were busy goofing arnd taking photos. oh but my youngest mei tripped and fell down the stairs on the way home while eating her hiphopjelly. so.. there it went. haha. but yupp. photos!

L-R:me.yi.qi yisie dropped her hiphopjelly.

qi with her loong hiphopjelly. (:

actually we took alot more pics. but i look fat in most of them =( so i refuse to post them. HAHA.

on mon aft bio karin, kailing, garbie and i went to german market place to get chocs. the chocs are HEAVENLY i tell you. haha. anyway. i saw mrs DVS! haha. that's deline victoria soh. wif her son isaac! isaac's so cute! he's sooooo shy. and mrs soh kept asking him to "call jie-jie". awww. i miss mrs soh. she's still ~~short~~pretty as ever! (:

came back frm celene's grandma's wake. auntie waihoong was pretty upset. but at least we know her grandma is in heaven with the Lord. for that, we can be thankful and rejoice for. but it was great to see celene and jonah again. they landed at 1 am today so they were pretty tired. and the heat was really getting to them cos it's winter down under now. but managed to catch up a little with her (: she's grown prettier! hope i get to see her again before she flies back. i doubt she'll be reading this but: hey celene. it was really good to see you again (: i promise to reply your email soon! so sorry for the few months of silence =x you take care alrite? we'll be praying for you and your family!

love, huili.

Saturday, May 27, 2006
5:23 PM

ripped off matilda's lj. this is freaking cool!

YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH.
This is cool.
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate(more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1756 . If you haven't, add 1755.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You've reached the end.
You should have a three digit number

The first digit of this was your original number(how many times you want to have chocolate each week).
The next two numbers are...
*
*
*
*
*
YOUR AGE!

THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2006) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS. (:

love, huili.

Thursday, May 25, 2006
8:34 PM

this is what my little pri 1 cousin's report book says: "(his name) is a kind and well-liked class member who works very well in cooperative groups. He communicates confidently with teachers and classmates and shows respect towards them. He accepts any responsibility given to him." haha. my whole family laughed like crazy when we saw this, cos my uncle told us a few days back that when he went to meet his form teacher, his teacher was complaining how talkative he was. and how he's always with all the girls in class, like the girls literally swarm around him. HAHA. my lil cousin, the Cassanova, the Don Juan. oh man this is hilarious. thenthenTHEN. we were teasing him about all his girlfriends after he showed us his report book, and we were like, aww didi, you're so well-liked ar? and something else lah. then he replied, "they all love me!" awww. HAHA. i almost died laughing. my little cousin is sooooo cute (: and he keeps going on and on about this korean girl called "ji-ho"(i forgot how to spell her name, shall ask him tmr xp) or something. apparently she's his ~~girl~~best friend. haha. and so even though my cousin is rather annoying and very irritating at times, i still love him (:

love, huili.

Monday, May 22, 2006
9:50 PM

[edited on 24th May (right at the bottom)]
wanted to update ytd. but got caught up reading all my past entries. therefore, i did not do my phys tut. oh man. did i just type "therefore"? sheesh. anyway. i've nothing to blog about; inspiration to blog did come sometime during the past week but then it fleww away just a quickly as it came. ah wells.

j1s are having sabbaticals noww =( i wanttt! its not fair that they get one whole week and we only got 3 days last year. ok, i think i've whined enough about this le. haha. but i miss ocean ambassadors prog! it was supersupersuper fun! (: heard frm ms soh it's only 2 days this year so... lala. that's a little comfort. i miss underwater world! i wish we cld haf continued doing cip there, but it's abit impractical and meaningless lah. cos it's not really cip, i think we're doing it more because we want to cos we enjoy it and not cos we're contributing back to community. i don't know, but being arnd sea animals makes me happy (: dolphins are my love! but i wonder if being a marine biologist is the right option. i mean, its not only impractical (in spore at least), i don't know if my passion can really sustain me throughout my entire course of study, not to mention job. i mean there'll definitely be boring parts like studying about plankton (HORRORS!)and all the itty bitty crustaceans, but can my love and passion for sea mammals + dolphins carry me thru these boring moments? i wonder. i think i need to find out more abt the curriculum and job scope for marine biologists, before i decide. but as of now, i really don't know what i want to do besides this. and even the passion for this is dwindling low. sighhh. sometimes i wish i still had that super strong conviction to be a doctor which lasted thru my sec4 and j1 years. but TAG made me see things, and i decided that being a doctor doesn't suit me. i don't truly have that longing to heal the sick, the compassion for patients, the patience to treat others, and the courage to treat really ill people, like pple wif cancer or other terminal diseases. i dunno. i think i'll go into depression or something if my patient dies on me. so yupp. no medicine. i think. AHHH. i dunno LAH.

there is no way i'm going to be able to finish studying for blocktest2. no freaking way i tell you, not when the whole syllabus is covered and at most i've only got 4 weeks. this makes it 1 week per subject, not to mention the stupid gp homework we've got. and like it's ever possible to finish the entire phys/chem syllabus in 1 week. let's not even go into bio. so whatever. i'm gonna just do my best. no point getting all stressed now. i'll keep that for later in the year. yupp. so i'm not going to whine about not being able to finish studying, not going to panic and hyperventilate. YEAH RIGHT.

[edit]heh. forgot to reply tags. so yupp. here i am(:
yahting: haha. yupps. thx(:
fel: AIYOOOO. den u better watch more tv and dun reflect so much! haha. but mm. spending time wif urself is good cos u dun haf to wry abt how ure behaving n whether it'll piss/offend/hurt others.
garbie: wowww. rare tag. HAHA.
rach: hey! erps. i confess i dun rly read ur blog anymore. but i shall still try to visit it occasionally (: hows aussie?
wits: haha. thankyouuu. if i had as much free time as u, i'd go search for ur blog too. but i don't. haha.
max: HEY! erps =x why u rmb this kind of things?! haha. yayy. phpps! (:
huiling: (: thx for the encouraging tagg (:
matilda: HAHA. i havent visited urs in ages too xp NOOOOO. its either 2 linden drive or 21! not 12! heh. now tt i think of it, i think it's 2 linden drive. 21 linden drive is the boarding sch rite?haha.
bren: but the guys are much smarterrr =(
waye: oh my goodness really?!!? oh mannn. u still keep in touch wif him? i miss him and his merlion blood and jian fei ji huas! booo.
[/edit]

love, huili.

Friday, May 12, 2006
4:55 PM

yesterday was sports day. for the first time in all my 6 years (ok, 5. since i kind of ponned last year's. was playing cards at class bench) attending the hwachong-nanyang-chinesehigh combined sport's meet, i was actually glad it was combined. with nanyang at least. i could do without the chinese high guys but ohwell. saw my nanyang teachers (: yay. they still remember me (: mrs chua, ms koh, mrs ho, chailaoshi. wonder what happened to mrs see and mr derek tan. seeing them was like... WOAH rush of affections suddenly. its like... i realised i really do miss nanyang. really. i'm really proud to be a nanyang girl. proud to have worn that horrible hongzi. proud to have studied in 21 Linden Drive (: every nanyang girl a respected member of society ((: as of now, i'm not sure if i can say i'm proud to be a hwachongian, i mean i guess when it's time to leave i'll probably feel proud (as it happened in nanyang). but now. i really really miss nanyang. i miss being in an all-girls school (it kind of always boils down to this, doesn't it?). i miss knowing everyone in my batch. knowing every teacher. being in nanyang was being part of a family. (cheesy but oh how true)

and then. sport's day was all about running right? so yeah. it made me think of track. and ms sabrina still remembers me! oh goodness. it was so WEIRD. cos i saw her and was just gonna walk past her, thinking she'd forgotten abt me. then she gave a lil smile and i was like shit. so i smiled and she said hi and i said hi ms sabrina. argh. ok. this shldn't sound weird but for the ill-informed, ms sabrina was my track tchr-in-charge in sec 4. as in she was in charge of the rojak grp (i absolutely HATED how they just dumped those who were not tt talented into this grp) and cos i was forever ponning track since end of sec3, i was in tt group. but during one trng, ms sab saw me run and she was like, talent wasted. i dunno. i keep getting that nowadays. its like jus in the morn b4 sports day, daddy asked if i was running. when i was like, no, he said: talent wasted. he was disappointed. i could tell. i hate it when this happens. i hate it when pple tell me i'm a talent wasted. i hate it cos i know its true. and then i start hating myself. i mean sometimes i dunno, but i wonder why God gave me such a talent, and didn't give me the PASSION to pursue that talent. i absolutely loathe running. it's just so.. so boring. and it's hard to train when you're hating every second that you train. when you're counting down to the time trng ends. i dunno. this whole thing frustrates me. maybe i shld have tried to persuade myself to love running. but can that really happen? can you really persuade yourself to start loving, if not at least liking something you absolutely detest now? i really dunno. i really doubt it. but maybe i shld have at least tried to be a better steward of what God has given. i shldn't have just wallowed in my constant state of "i-hate-running" or "i'm-never-gonna-run-again". maybe.

i know i've always said that joining track was one of my biggest regrets in life, and i don't deny that it still is. but i guess i've come to realise that yes, things do happen for a purpose. and that perhaps joining track just taught me to really carefully consider my other choices in life so that i'll not end up regretting these choices next time. so yeah. even though i really hated track and i really regret joining track, thank you Lord for putting me in track anyway.

in a very blogg-y mood now. this usually happens only on sunday mornings in church cos when u listen to the sermon and God speaks to u and u can't wait to blog abt it. but sadly, that desire soon disappears and by the time u reach home, u don't feel like blogging anymore.

read amzie's blog just now. i'm glad that she's having so much fun in america. (: even though she's all alone out there, thank God she's having a ball of a time and that she's safe. then i got down to thinking abt being alone. i mean, something rachie said on wed made me think. she said only losers think it's loser-ish to be alone. i was like. woah. cos i always dread being alone. i don't like to do things by myself (so i really admire amzie for being able to have so much fun touring grandcanyon alone) and i esp hate shopping alone cos yeah, i think it's pretty sad to be alone. like.. i dunno. you have no friends or sth? but even as i typed the prev statement, i realise that most of the time, people are alone cos they choose to be alone. they want to be alone. i can definitely identify with the feeling of wanting to be alone at times. mm. maybe it's time i change my stereotypical mindset abt being alone, cos well, being alone does not = being lonely/being loserish.

don't u just hate it when pple invade ur privacy? i mean if a blog's meant to be private then that's what it shld be. private. right? and if ur fren gives you access to his/her private blog, you shld respect the very basic fact that it's private and keep the contents of the blog to urself. you should DEFINITELY NOT copy and paste the stuff tt's in that blog onto a msn convo for others to read. what were you thinking?! i feel sad for you; you don't understand the fundamental principles of trust and respect, esp btw friends. i can assure u, trust is NEVER easily earned back once it is lost. whoever u are that did it, u ought to be ashamed of yourself. u don't even dare to own up to ur fren when she asked u. i hope that u reflect and realise your grave folly.

ok. this was a rather disjointed post. but whatever. cranky mood right now. rawrrr.

love, huili.

Monday, May 08, 2006
9:30 PM

busy week over (: slack week started ((: HAHA. i promised garbie i'll blog abt concert and class day so yupp. here i am. but suddenly all my inspiration has vanished after i researched for bio independent learning. blehhh.

ok i typed tt last night. shall start blogging properly now. hmm. last night was well. eventful. k maybe that's not the right word. but oh well. i'm not supposed to be blogging abt that. so anw. back to harmoc concert. so we were let off at 12. but garbie and i wanted to stay for bio lect. so aft bio lect we ~~slowly strolled~~ chionged to the drama centre. everyone was alr in position; they were gg to start first full dress rehearsal. garbie and i quickly rushed to change and when we were ready they alr started pavane. lala. first rehearsal was abit luan4 la. every1 was everywhere. we still took too long and were too noisy clearing stage, piano not v in position blah blah. but garbie and i found another love pillar! (: in addition to the one we discovered during rehearsal on tues (: haha. so we have 2 love pillars, one on each side of the stage! 2nd full dress rehearsal went better. but we were running out of time. think esther and hongpei esp were like panicking. so we rushed to eat and quickly ran behind the curtains to wait for the drama centre to fill up. was quite nervous behind the curtains lah. i think it was the general mood then. when the drama centre was 3/4 full, we began our concert. RADETSKY MARCH! i love that piece. its so lively and full of energy. perfect opening and encore piece (: then we had pavane, my section piece, blah blah (can't rly rmb everything). i rmb tt i was feeling pretty sad halfway thru the concert cos well, it was coming to an end soon and i dint want it to. rly understood what "tai shang yi fen zhong, tai xia shi nian gong" meant. and not only that. but i was quite surprised to find myself missing all the rehearsals and the practices. i guess its cos harmoc pple are rly friendly and sweet (: and even though i complained a whole lot whenever there were practices (esp on saturdays!), i know deep down i never regretted joining, maybe i even regret not joining harmoc earlier, and not being serious abt it until a few mths before concert.

yupp. i never thought i'd say this but harmoc did make my past few mths in school abit more enjoyable (: and thank u harmoc pple for being so warm and welcoming and friendly to a slacker like me. haha. special mention to: section 3 j2s! - kimberle, wu juan, shen ying, shengtao, hongpei, yunting. and also esther, xueyi, max, huifang. (: and of course, my DEAREST GARBIE (: for all the backstage talks, all the laughter, for sticking by me throughout all the practs and rehearsals. i think we grew alot closer cos of harmoc, so that's 1 more (major) reason why i don't regret joining (: let's jiayou for arts fest k garbie? we'll still get our 8/8 for phys spa skill a. haha. and thank u everyone who bothered to come down for the concert (: it meant alot!

now class day. cldn't join the class in the day activity but glad most if not all of u had fun, even though there was some unhappiness at the beginning. i think the pics shld do the talking, so go see fel's pics and whoever else that took pics (pls upload them!). i did enjoy myself that night (: special thanks to mrs lim, ms tan and mr lee for taking time off to grace our event (: haven't rly gotten my thoughts abt class day sorted out yet. will do so in due time, and maybe then i'll blog abt it. but i enjoyed class day ALOT. special thank yous to all who made it possible, esp to those who were involved in the organising. pyramid game was super fun! haha. and yayy. haagen dazs treat (: i still want ben and jerry's though. i like our HI138 (it's HI138, not HI139 fel!) picture alot (: whee! lovelovelove HI138! ((: yupps. i guess i'm really not v coherent abt class day. like i said, my thoughts havent been sorted out properly. just realised i've alot to complete today. shall get off the comp and start on the HUGE stack of work. but before that, i think 05s75 is really quite a united class, so rock on 75! we rock. we stone (:

u say u've got no time. but is tt rly the case. or are u just pushing us away. because if u're not, why is it tt we get the feeling u are? it miffed us pretty much to realise tt u've not been as busy as we thought u were. i dunno. it seems like u're pushing us away, like we don't matter anymore. like our frenship doesn't mean anything to you. like you don't want to invest another second of ur precious time into our frenship. we thought we mattered. we thought that even if we werent your best friends, we were good friends at least. it hurts. alot. and it was very very disappointing to discover all this. i guess time will tell. time will tell whether our frenship matters to you. if it doesn't, i'm prepared to let you walk out of my life. it'll hurt alot. but chang tong bu ru duan tong. we have been the ones putting in the effort. you've been the one pushing us away. we did our best. you didn't. maybe your frenship isn't tt precious anymore. and maybe you dun even visit my blog anymore. i give up.

love, huili.

Thursday, May 04, 2006
9:22 PM

been how moodswingy these days. literally. i can be so high at one moment and suddenly plunge right into depression/moodiness. clement says everyone will become like that sooner or later cos of all the stress and mugging for Alevels. =( booo. i don't want that to happen! school will then become even more unbearable and whatnot. and you'll start drifting frm friends, and ur whole life starts revolving arnd notes, notes and more notes. i'm not going to bring up my children in singapore. i'm dreading those days. don't want them to ever come. we shld haf 3 yrs of jc life, take our As in the 2nd year. and the last yr can be for socialising and attending lessons that teach practical skills, lifeskills, interpersonal relationships, etiquette etc. (:

suddenly i just feel like being antisocial. wanna lock myself up and never have to interact with other pple. except maybe with my parents. actually i've just lost my blogging mood now. or maybe all that i wanna blog abt is too private to say here. *shrugs. concert tmr. hope all goes well (: special thanks to those who are coming! (:

oh wait. study at changi airport this sat anyone? (:

love, huili.