tantalize your senses*

bahbadbadbadmoodidunevenknowwadsggonwhyrupissedatmeruevenpissedidunnomoodswingsstupidhormoneswadsggonwhyrthingsthiswayitrynottocarebutifindmyselfcaringitrynottobotherbutifindmyselfworryingiwishilearntgermanproperlysotticanjustypeallthisingermanandnothaftoworryabtanyonebutmaybejemawhorlycaresunderstandingseemslikenoonecaresanymoreandwhydoimissusobadlywhycantijustletgowhyhasntsevenyrsdoneanythingtochangeanythingtostopthetearsfrmfallingsofreelytostopthepainfrmhurtingsobadlytostopthemissingttcomessoofteneverytimeiseeurnameurpicthinkofurfaceimissusobadlysososobadlyiwonderifuevenfeelthesamewayiwonderifustillrmbmeisoundsopatheticbutdunyougetitthemissingneverstopsthepaindoesntgoawayipraytticantrusttheLordiprayttHe'llhelpmetoseeHishandinallthisiprayforHimtoshowmeHiswillformebutthereseemstobenoanswermaybeimjustnotprayinghardenuffbutireallywishihadananswerireallywantananswersofarawaysounattainableonlyGodknowsHiswayisperfectsohelpmetojusttrustLordtojustTRUSTandifitbeYourwillttishldntseehimagainshldntmeethimagainsohelpmeLordtoacceptYourwillandtostillloveuwifallmyheartsoulmindandstrength.

love, huili.

Monday, March 27, 2006
6:36 PM

RANDOMNESS.

as of now i'm so tired. V for Vendetta is quite cool. i think all it says abt politics is quite true. but i still don't get why it's NC16. oh well. i closed my eyes for the violent scenes anyway. i just can't take violent scenes.

finally got my mini GOLD clutch! (: was more ex than i expected, but oh well. i've been thinking abt getting it for weeks, since i saw it at livia's boutique the last time i was at fareast shopping for angel-mortal presents. (see bren? im not spendthrift! i actually thought abt buying that for more than a month before i went to get it! (: ) kailing and huiling said it'll be hard to match clothes, but i don't careeeee. i like it. haha.

i wanna watch chick flicks!! i just wanna hole up somewhere and go on a dvd marathon. list of shows i wanna watch (some may be like how outdated, but i still want to watch!): bring it on1&2. in her shoes. white chicks. monster-in-law. big momma's house 1&2. daddy day-care. the pacifier. yours, mine and ours. the perfect launch. miss congeniality 2. and the list goes on and on and on. what brainless movies. but isn't that the whole point of entertainment? to relax? mm. i don't really like to watch movies to think, unless i suddenly get into this lit mood. which is getting rarer nowadays cos at least i had my dearest lit-crazy abi and germ last time to psyche me into loving lit.

i want esprit pants ESPRIT PANTS ESPRIT PANTS! but they're so ex! howwww. i want so much more stuff! like new heels frm charles&keith for dorcas' wedding, half-body cardigan also for the wedding, proper jeans! shades! perfume (my body shop one is running out!), that belt frm bugis, zara/mango basic tops. oh man. i sound so materialistic. save up save up save up.

can't wait for end of A levels. i wanna go on holiiiidayyyyyyy! (: so many many trips lined up. i hope i can go for all of them. i better start thinking of quick ways to earn money cos daddy's definitely not gonna pay for me anymore :(

denial isn't working. whyyyyy.

-end of randomness. haha.

love, huili.

Thursday, March 16, 2006
6:37 PM

so i did the draw a house thing tt yahting posted on the class blog. haha. here are my results. you can see my drawing by going here: http://drawahouse.com/houses/show.asp?houseID=297706&houseHash=34ab9cd2c2f3497bff6be13336929b59

and this is my analysis:

Based on your drawing and the 10 answers you gave this is a summary of your personality:Your house tells the world that you ought to be a leader. You are a freedom lover and a strong person. You love your house and family. You are a gifted artist as well. Once you have a problem, you need a friend with you. (very true) Your life is always full of changes. You are very tidy person. There's nothing wrong with that because you're pretty popular among friends. When it comes to love, you shut yourself off. It's difficult to win your heart because you have decided to keep your feelings deep inside. You have a strong personality and you like to command, influence and control people. You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. We also see that you are sensuous, sexual, and privately passionate. You don't think much about yourself.

haha. don't rly agree abt the difficult to win my heart part though. and the "sensous, sexual and privately passionate" part? quite amusing. haha.

love, huili.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006
11:17 AM

WHEEE! i passed my piano exam! and it's not like i JUST passed or something. oh man my results totally surpassed my expectations, thank You LORD! ((: so i was in a sort of HIGH yesterday aft getting my results in the mail. 'nuff said here. i shall move my lazy butt and start mugging. i'm wayyyyyy behind time, i don't think i can finish studying. crap. this sucks.

love, huili.

Monday, March 06, 2006
9:08 PM

oh man. chem s was freaking scary today. good thing i decided to go man! or rather, good thing mummy didn't allow me to pon. haha. so it's like we were happily strolling to chem s, thinking: yay! no more rudy lee. THEN. we walked in and.. erps. we saw mr loy and guess who? yeah. ppc. sian. yeah. then sit down, ppc make announcement (gd thing he was making announcements only!) then aft abt 15 mins the lt still so empty lah. then he was like.. why are there so few ppl today. THEN he started randomly calling classes and ask them to put up hands up so he could like count and see if the nos tally. then call a few. woah. all the classes so guai. then suddenly "75" then 6 of us were like.. oh shit. then erms. lag abit. then "75" again. so we put up. then "why are there less than half the pple here today?!" so we were like erms. the ppc was like o.O gahhhh. sorry but it was really heard to cover for so many pple! yah. so he said u'll must complete today's qns and hand them in and also do the assignment qns. yeah. hand in friday aft blocks. oh and don't copy the model ans cos he's got them. yahhh.

man. today was really traumatizing. i think i won't pon any chem s lecture again. :s

off to pia tutorials now.

love, huili.

Saturday, March 04, 2006
11:26 PM

moodswinging. rarrrh. i hate these feelings that overwhelm me sometimes =(

love, huili.

Thursday, March 02, 2006
6:29 PM

haha. shall update finally. jus wanna say thanks everyone. i'm ok now. and yeah huiling, it helped me realise who my true friends are (: special thanks to darlinggg jema CAKE! for the uber long email. argh girl i wish i didn't quit german then i'd be able to like type something in german here and not have to worry abt anyone understanding it (: but anw thank u so much girl. i love you loads LOADS LOADS! oh and i'll TRY to reply asap, maybe after blocks. bahhh. but i can't go for ckks mtg and church camp so i won't be seeing you in like how long! =( date me girl! oh yes and to those who encouraged me after the stupid talk on fri, thank you (: you know who you are.

oooh. hnf has been getting really interesting, must really commend the exco for jobs well done! i think this yr's hnf activities are so much more enriching and varied, the lucky j1s! aerobics with ms soh has been cool, and woohoo! i totally loved the dance session! even though the dance is like how provocative but ms soh can do it super well! i'm impressed (: oh and hnf week is gonna be FUNKY! please go participate actively (: and i must start practising my harmoc at home and stop slacking. concert in 2 months! argh.

i think this year's been really great so far excluding the few minor down pts that i've had. the class has been really funky cos of all our random activities!(whee! speak chinese day!) kudos to kailing for being a FANTASTIC WELFARE REP! i'm actually pretty hyped up abt the whole class cip thing (: i must start contributing back to community. yes. and this year i've also gotten closer to some classmates (: and also remade contact with old friends, penpals (: yay. i hope the year continues on this sort of high. that'll at least make mugging more bearable.

while researching and reading up on my options for career, scholarship, courses to take and unis to go, i discovered something abt myself. and got quite disgusted at myself. how could i have thought that way, acted that way?! i shall change. and never let such disgusting traits creep into my nature again.

release of a lvl results pushed my panic button. released i'm quite screwed up in my studies. esp my bio. time to do something abt it! argh.

oh but finally a new season of amazing race starts! (: whee. excited. i've got a date tonight with the tv (:

sorry for the super disjointed post. i don't really think very coherently nowadays anyway.

pro rege. for the King. so help me Lord to live this out.

love, huili.